u - chia pet

I’m the kind of man who deserves to have women I don’t deserve. [rp blog] [rtn!sasuke indie] [default: 16]

[uchihapet-blog]

i had a p big family emergency so i’ll get to replies and everything when i can! things have been p hectic so thanks for being patient with me 

[heavenlypaper]

I am from Ame and you have me dryer than Suna

Konan after getting hit on by RTN Sasuke (via heavenlypaper)

[pernicixsus-archive-deactivated]

Continued from here

@uchihapet

“Ren,” she said simply, resting a hand on her hip as she lowered her tanto. She still unsure what she thought about him and his rather vulgar compliment. She certainly didn’t like his attitude or the look in his eyes as he circled her.

“I’ve heard of just about everyone in the village. Don’t feel special,”

[uchihapet-blog]

“Ren.” The smile on his face shifted. It was no longer a smile, but not a frown. It was mix of joy and hunger. Sasuke found excitement in hunting his prey. 

“A cute little wallflower on our hands then. I wouldn’t mind helping you bloom-” He paused for a few seconds. Making sure his innuendo was recognized. “I’m sure everyone would like to get to know you.”

[uchihapet-blog]

“You know what ELSE everybody likes? Parfaits! Have you ever met a person, you say, “Let’s get some parfait,” they say, “Hell no, I don’t like no parfait.”? Parfaits are delicious!”

“Sweet are disgusting.” His voice low and irritated at his hyperactive friend. “Unless you are covered in it, and I can lick it off.” 

[bossuru-blog]

- ✌ A burning anger swam up his spine as he stared at Sasuke. Eyes narrowed to a thin line as he burned holes in Sasuke’s face. First of all… sweets WERE not disgusting… secondly… “Lick me I fuckin dare you.” Naruto spurted out with as much hate and anger as he could muster. 

[uchihapet-blog]

The blondes anger tickled him. He loved the look in people's faces when they were riled up. Disgust, discontempt, hatred. Sasuke face contorted, into something reminiscent of a smile. Moving in closer, he lightly licked the other boys face. Quite like a cat. “Disappointed. Not parfait flavored.”

[uchihapet-blog]

“You know what ELSE everybody likes? Parfaits! Have you ever met a person, you say, “Let’s get some parfait,” they say, “Hell no, I don’t like no parfait.”? Parfaits are delicious!”

“Sweet are disgusting.” His voice low and irritated at his hyperactive friend. “Unless you are covered in it, and I can lick it off.” 

[uchihapet-blog]

shrek starters

for if you need a little extra in your roleplay

“It's just a donkey.” “We can stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning, I'm making waffles!” “Well, I have to save my ass.” “I like that boulder. That is a NICE boulder.” “They judge me before they even know me - that's why I'm better off alone...” “NO! You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden! Ogres are like onions! End of story! Bye-bye! See ya later” “You know what ELSE everybody likes? Parfaits! Have you ever met a person, you say, "Let's get some parfait," they say, "Hell no, I don't like no parfait."? Parfaits are delicious!” “Parfait's gotta be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet!” “I think I need a hug.” “I've tried to be fair to you creatures, but now my patience has reached its end! Tell me, or I'll...” “Run, run, run as fast as you can! You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!” “Okay, I'll tell you... Do you know... the Muffin Man?” “Yeah, it's getting him to shut up that's the trick!” “So where is this fire-breathin' pain in the neck, anyway?” “He huffed, and he puffed... and he signed an eviction notice.” “I'll find those stairs. I'll whip their butt, too. Those stairs won't know which way they're going... take drastic steps, kick it to the curb. Don't mess wit' me. I'm the Stair Master. I've mastered the stairs. I wish I had a step right here, right now, I'd step all over it...” “Some of you may die, but that is a sacrifice I am willing to make.” “I mean, we should really get to know each other first, you know, as friends or maybe even as pen pals, you know, coz I'm on the road a lot, but I just love to get a card.” “Oh, I know. Maybe I could have decapitated an entire village, put their heads on a pike, gotten a knife, cut open their spleens and drink their fluids. Does that sound good to you?”

[pernicixsus-archive-deactivated]

"Let's see if you taste as good as you look."

“I’m confused. Is this a compliment? Does your mother know you talk like this?”

[uchihapet-blog]

“It’s only a compliment if you look tasty,” he licked his lips, “I’ll let you decide.” Sasuke ignored the mother comment. Of course she didn’t. If Mikoto did he might not be alive. 

[pernicixsus-archive-deactivated]

She looked him over, wondering what convinced him it was okay to stop her while she was training, “Sasuke, right? Did you need this space or something? I’m more than willing to share if you try to keep it in your pants.”

[uchihapet-blog]

He gave the girl a menacing smile. “I see you heard of me,” Sasuke circled around her, like a true hunter. “What is your name? I should at least properly thank someone who so graciously shares their space.” Everything he said sounded slightly sarcastic. 

[uchihapet-blog]

road to ninja came out in the height of doge

[bossuru-blog]

"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material."

- ✌ Naruto stared at Sasuke with a scowl. Growling with disgust he rolled his eyes. “I can do waaaay better, datte’bayo.” 

[uchihapet-blog]

“LISTEN HERE PUNK… I didn’t sit around and think of that all morning just to be shot down.” Sasuke was equally disgusted as the boy in front of him. How could he not take up such an amazing opportunity. 

[bossuru-blog]

- ✌ “NO YOU LISTEN HERE PUNK!” Naruto exclaimed as he narrowed his eyebrows. “If you are EVER going to say a pickup line to me, you better make it a damn good one. That one was shittier than Jiriaya Sensei’s!” 

[uchihapet-blog]

Sasuke puckered his lips, pouting. He normally didn’t take rejections to heart, but a rejection from his best friend? Right in the ego. “I also came up with ‘If I were a dog would you help me bury my bone?’ but Kiba wasn’t around.” 

[pernicixsus-archive-deactivated]

"Let's see if you taste as good as you look."

“I’m confused. Is this a compliment? Does your mother know you talk like this?”

[uchihapet-blog]

“It’s only a compliment if you look tasty,” he licked his lips, “I’ll let you decide.” Sasuke ignored the mother comment. Of course she didn’t. If Mikoto did he might not be alive. 

[sarciinatus]

"If it’s true that you are what you eat, I could be you by tomorrow morning."

-

“Sasu. I’m giving you a 10 seconds head-start. ”

10.

[uchihapet-blog]

“Was it the pun that annoyed you, or the vulgarity?” His tone was smug. “I’m taking a survey.” 

[bossuru-blog]

"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material."

- ✌ Naruto stared at Sasuke with a scowl. Growling with disgust he rolled his eyes. “I can do waaaay better, datte’bayo.” 

[uchihapet-blog]

“LISTEN HERE PUNK... I didn’t sit around and think of that all morning just to be shot down.” Sasuke was equally disgusted as the boy in front of him. How could he not take up such an amazing opportunity. 

[bearsandfire-blog]

// Just a test! Reblog it if my muse can jump in your askbox without annoying the mun!

[uchihapet-blog]

like for a bad pick up line in your ask ♥ 

[uchihapet-blog]

“I’m the kind of man who deserves to have women I don’t deserve.”

[uchihapet-blog]

like for a bad pick up line in your ask ♥ 

[uchihapet-blog]

Spring is Here || inoinbloom

[uchihapet-blog]

inoinbloom:

What? There was no way in hell her dad would allow such a rule stop her from being a kunoichi, would he? Maybe he wanted her to stay home and be a housewife. This was starting to seem all wrong. Why hadn’t her father told her about this arranged marriage before she had left home this morning. Did he want to give Sasuke a chance to win her over before forcing her to marry him? She started to feel nervous again. With the Waiter so close and Sasuke asking ‘Why’ they couldn’t talk about -

She could not allow this! This truly would be the most embarrassing day of her life. Her mind voiced the actions of a taijutsu move she had learned in academy. Strike, Grab, Flip! Throwing Sasuke to the floor before he could finish his sentence. The waitress and other patrons gasped in horror. “He- He pinched my butt!” She said in her defense. Her success was oddly gratifying she had pretty bad grades in hand to hand combat. This was her first successful flip and throw. She bounced on her toes in excitement as she learned over Sasuke. I did good right?Completely forgetting the poor boy the object of her ‘assault.’

He sat on the floor, surprised by what had just happened. It wasn’t the first time a girl had beat him to the floor, but Ino doing such a thing? Purpostorious. It wasn’t because Sasuke believed her to be weak, just timid. 

Sasuke rubbed his lower back and looked up at the blonde. “If you’re going to do something like that, at least let me actually pinch your butt.” He said, standing up. 

“Let's not make a scene.” His tone was sweet, but laced with annoyance. Now this was a real battle of wits. And Sasuke was going to win it. He walked over to the table the waiter had pointed out, before he was so rudely assaulted, and sat down. 

“Come on darling, we have to pick our wedding colors.”