@uh-mmonia - Tumblr Blog

I'm stressed because im not where I wanna be in life and I'm stressed because the steps I need to take to get there take time and frankly I'm stressed because nothing ever seems enough and I hate being trapped. I just want to move already and not feel 'stuck'

#ugh

panini-deaky-blog

My cats weird obsession with Ringo Starr

So recently my cat has become infatuated with a picture of Ringo Starr I have hanging up in my room

He only ever does this with ringo, not George, the only other picture he can reach, I thought maybe he actually liked Paul or maybe it was just the frame so I conducted an experiment

I decided to try out some different pics of the Beatles together and he still seemed to prefer ringo over the other three

I then tried out individual photos to see which he preferred and he stuck by ringo every time

Finally I tested a picture of the band from a different era where they looked different, at least to a cat, and he still preferred Ringo, thus telling me that my cat has a thing for Ringo Starr

bando--grand-scamyon

He’s admiring his old photos

venusmacabre-deactivated2019053

Is it a common broke/poor thing to see expensive shit and immediately think of just how many lunches you could buy with that money?

abstractobject

A rich person: this thing only cost 100 bucks

Me: …..that’s many groceries

dacreskars

gahdamnpunk

Those kind of customers are sometimes THA reason retail workers don’t smile 🤔🤔

judgejudyofficial

amuzed1-deactivated20241106

PARIS, FRANCE - MARCH 03: Janelle Monae and Nate‘Rocket’ Wonder attend the Valentino show as part of the Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Fall/Winter 2019/2020 on March 03, 2019 in Paris, France.

amarieeah

hymnsofheresy

isn’t it disgusting how american society only expects people to grieve for a few days until returning back to their everyday lives? that we should either overcome or repress our trauma of losing a loved one before the week is over with?

hymnsofheresy

now im not saying that we should bring back the mourning periods of the victorian era BUT

canary-prince

Hospice workers and other related professionals ABSOLUTELY think we need to return to year long mourning periods! Structured time lines aren’t perfect (grief isn’t linear; it comes in slowly lulling waves) but a year is a hell of a lot better than a week. Moreover, it was a set of rules for the rest of society to abide by and that helped tremendously. Grief and shared grief make us panic; we aren’t certain what to do. Structured mourning periods help. Its pre-laid boundaries and guidance from the past.

So anyway bring back mourning periods.

jewishdragon

Jewish tradition has a very structured mourning period, and it’s structure could be useful to others. I believe it could help as a guide for others, especially since it’s not only structured for the mourners, but for their community.

The first thing we do is sit Shiva. Shiva is very intense mourning for those closest to the deceased (usually relatives but I would argue if you are close enough to the person it will hit just as hard). It lasts 7 days, where those closest to the deceased do not leave the house, and do not cook or clean. Instead the community brings over food and takes care of the normal day chores, as well as sit with the mourners to support them physically and emotionally. (For more religious folks there are prayers throughout the day at the house). We wear specific clothes for this week as well. It is deep deep mourning.

After that week begins the Sheloshim (30) for thirty days (in reality it is 23 days as the 7 days of Shiva count towards the 30 total days). The mourners return to society in terms of taking care of themselves and going to work and such, but avoids socializing/parties/concerts/seeking entertainment, to focus on the loss. For religious folk, there is a prayer said every day (mourners kaddish) during this time. This can still be done with other friends and family to give emotional support even just by being present.

For those mourning a parent (though I think this step is crucial for losing anyone close), the 11 months of mourning begins. You no longer are sequestering yourself from society, but you still spend time each day remembering the person. (in jewish tradition this means you keep saying the mourners kaddish every day for 11 months).

Why I think this is so so so important is the community aspect. Especially during Shiva. I remember a twitter thread that was posted here a while back about someone who lost their father and how they wouldnt have made it through if their friends hadn’t come to support them as they were so deep in sorrow they couldn’t take care of themselves (friends brought food, cleaned the house, etc). It almost exactly described Shiva, minus a religious aspect. And they described slowing being able to re-join society afterwards, like the 30 days.

Grief shouldn’t be done alone, and mourners should be given support from their community to give them time and help them properly grieve and re-integrate with society.

babyfairy

resilienceofabee

Emotional Labor: What It Is and How To Do It

via Celine Loup

hungry-skin-vacant-meat

whoa

starinyourhand

Girl is in charge.

supermantights

I thought this might be irrelevant to me but it’s got great advice on what to do when someone ignores something that you tell them repeatedly that you hate/makes you uncomfortable/feel like shit

soolagna-meow

reminder that 30 isn’t old, it’s very normal to not accomplish everything in your 20s, and that it is never too late to learn that thing you’ve always wanted to learn. you’re always growing. that’s a good thing.