[everydaylouie]

Visit Original Link

a song i wrote about my old roommate’s cat (soundcloud)

[ukepup]

i reblog this every so often so it’s always near the top of my feed bc i love it

[snapscube]

check out my gamer girl comedy videos

[bis-muth]

[batuurebel]

She sounds like the McElroy’s long lost sister

[morpeko-moved]

anyway subscribe to snapcube on YouTube!

[extrafabulouscomics]

pls support www.patreon.com/extrafabulouscomics

[snowysauropteryx]

Antarctic sponges live on a time scale we can barely comprehend. 

[snowysauropteryx]

UPDATE: WHAT THE FUCK

[friend-rice]

[funnylime]

old boys

[birdghost]

it took me 3 times reading this post to realized that (wild) meant living in the wild and wasn’t just a casual remark on the longevity of these organisms

[cupsofjade-deactivated20250509]

Maximum longevity: 15,000 years (shit dude)

[deebott]

Wild

[jessicahenwick-deactivated20171]

seduce me with obscure knowledge of history

[wonkas-golden-nword-pass-deacti]

Nintendo and the ottoman empire existed during the same time

[wonkas-golden-nword-pass-deacti]

[lunacyiero]

anyone else ever daydream for 6 hours straight and then after ur just like nah let’s scrap that and do it all again but slightly to the left

[astudyingreer]

my brain: *out of breath* Was that good?!

Me in a beret, taking a long draft from a cigarette and leaning back in my director’s chair: once again, from the top, this time with feeling

[thexfiles]

as a society we have to start bullying rich ivy league kids more. they’re like “i go to harvard” and you gotta be like “what? never heard of it”

[thexfiles]

i got a lot of shit about this post a few days ago but ever since that scandal broke? crickets

[boopednose]

“I have a degree from yale”

“Psh did your MOM buy it for you?”

[heymomlookimadeablog-deactivate]

btw you’re only allowed to do this to the white kids. People of colour in prestigious unis already get enough harassment from people assuming they got in because of affirmative action

[thechaotictrickster]

Yes

[everydaylouie]

Visit Original Link

a song i wrote about my old roommate’s cat (soundcloud)

[spacetaters-deactivated20200722]

ok but can we like start a petition for Cards Against Humanity to make a John Mulaney themed pack because i would be willing to spend all my money on that

[taylormademagic]

Suggestions:

Black cards-

• THERES A ______ LOOSE! IN THE HOSPITAL

• Eat ass, suck a dick, and sell ________

• Canceling plans is like ________

• Do my friends hate me? Or do I just need _____

• You have the moral backbone of a _______

• I’ll keep all of my ___________ right here and the one day I’ll die

White Cards-

• what’s new pussycat played 7 times followed by its not unusual followed by what’s new pussy cat

• smoking cocaine the night before your college graduation

• a 28 year old healthy man trying his best

• one black coffee

• STREET SMARTS

• shushing animals even though they’ve never spoken

• Delta Airlines

• the one thing they can’t replace

• an on fire garbage can… could be a nursery

• a sea of drunk toddlers

• a pre- y2k asshole

• Xanax

[hoardofhyperfixations]

Do my friends hate me? Or do I just need what’s new pussycat played 7 followed by it’s not unusual followed by what’s new pussycat

[an-anxious-gay-mess]

Eat ass, suck a dick, and sell the one thing they can’t replace.

[cyncity2000]

THERE’S a sea of drunk toddlers LOOSE! IN THE HOSPITAL

[nyamafriend]

Cancelling plans is like xanax

[junepop45]

Please cards against humanity

[artsykyrah]

Spent the afternoon writing letters

[r--g--b]

me, age 14: I want anatagonists that are morally gray, who don’t realize they’re bad. They should be conflicted and have meaningful backstories.

me now: i want a villain that has “evil” listed every day on their calendars except sundays when they have mimosas with the protagonist

[neoptelemus-moved-deactivated20]

im both

[runawaymarbles]

#how is magneto both of these things

[impormable]

Olivia Jaimes’ Nancy continues to amaze and delight.

[rxxxxxxxxx]

Visit Original Link

[hon-art-deactivated20171105]

cats in coats

[the-conquest-of-shred]

Elroy McElroy

[leocries-deactivated20190812]

there’s gold in my lovely lumps?

[just-shower-thoughts]

People use the “you’re adopted” as an insult, but adoptive parents often put so much time and effort into adoption that they’re overjoyed to have their child.