[ultradynamo]

Hello! My name is TJ (36 years young, she/her). Don't hesitate to message me and let's plot. So let's get some things out of the way. This character is Earth-616 canon divergent and MCU compliant. Whatever suits the the scene.

This blog is both multi-verse and multi-ship! This blog was created way back in January 2013 and rebooted in September 2021. (Hello my loves from back then! Please come and find me! I have missed you. Y'all know who you are.)

Other blogs: [x] [x] [x]

Google Doc [x] | Carrd [x] | Promo [x]​ | Discord [TJ Vicious#2067]

Credit [x] [x]

[nightprompts]

&. 𝐬𝐮𝐛𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.

(  smut  /  nsfw  implied  sentence  starters  with  not  so  vulgar  language.  )

❛ i’ve been thinking about you all day. ❜

❛ you can kiss me, you know. ❜

❛ how badly do you want me? ❜

❛ i can’t get enough of you. ❜

❛ i’ve never done something like this before. ❜

❛ i like being close to you. you’re warm. ❜

❛ you look good like this. ❜

❛ you look like you were jealous. ❜

❛ i’m not jealous. ❜

❛ shh. there’s people in the other room. ❜

❛ say you want me, and i’m yours. ❜ 

❛ i won’t bite. unless you’re into that sort of thing. ❜

❛ i’m not wearing any underwear. thought you’d like to know. ❜

❛ would you like to go somewhere a little more private? ❜

❛ i’ll take care of you. ❜

❛ there’s so many things i wanna do to you. ❜

❛ take off your clothes. ❜

❛ i’m going to ruin you. ❜

❛ show me how much you missed me. ❜

❛ is this okay? ❜

❛ you know you love me. ❜

❛ i want you to feel good. ❜

❛ make me. ❜

❛ i want this. ❜

❛ come back to bed. ❜

❛ you’re such a tease. ❜

❛ want me to model these for you? ❜

❛ we have to make this quick. ❜

❛ what are you looking at? ❜

❛ it’s hot when you talk back. ❜

❛ you don’t have to be gentle. i won’t break. ❜

❛ don’t you know what you’re doing to me? ❜

❛ i really want to kiss you right now. ❜

❛ this is a one time thing. ❜

❛ you know where to find me. ❜

❛ did i say you could stop? ❜

❛ you’re soaked. let me grab you a towel. ❜

❛ i want to see you. ❜

❛ are you wearing my shirt? ❜

❛ no ones here. we can be as loud as we want. ❜

❛ you look good with my hands around your throat. ❜

❛ i’ll be good, i promise. ❜

❛ you’re really good at that. ❜

❛ shut up and kiss me already. ❜

❛ you better watch your fucking mouth. ❜

❛ don’t mind me. just enjoying the view. ❜

❛ tell me what you want. ❜

❛ here’s my hotel room number. ❜

❛ you can be rough. i can take it. ❜

❛ and where do you think you’re going? ❜

❛ if you called just to get off on my voice, i’m hanging up. ❜

❛ i shouldn’t allow myself to get this close to you. ❜

❛ what if i hurt you? ❜

❛ you could never hurt me. ❜

[ultradynamo]

@balshoy-medvyed​

Everybody had their secrets. A world without such was a naive dream that was devoid of reality for the most banal of people. For individuals such as themselves - it was a ridiculous joke. They had been born of secrets, shaped by twisted lies and shaped to always second-guess a truth.

So why did this flitting excuse make Mikhail want to roll his eyes?

Perhaps it was the sheer amount of times he had heard it. A word or two changed or switched out, but its essence had remained the same. Be it from Nikolai, from Laynia, Dmitri, Yuri and half a dozen other men and women he had made the mistake of allowing to cross the threshold of colleagues to friends and again to something more than that.

People are cruel. That, you must understand and accept, Mikhail. People are easily led and their hearts easily broken. Take heed. You have the acute advantage of being something more than that.

Fighting the urge to snort at the memory of phobos’ words, Mikhail took a curt step to the side to allow a woman to pass them by as they rounded a corner. They had been in this situation before; was he to validate the definition of insanity once more by repeating the same thing and expecting a different result?

“I am done living with half-truths and shadowed secrets, Galina. I respect your friend’s privacy, however were we not more than that?”

Galina was not going to get away with just a fraction of the truth, as Mikhail had made that very clear. If she wanted to salvage any kind of relationship with him then she was going to have to tell him the truth. Galina frowned faintly at his comment about the two of them, and she nodded slowly. “We were,” she said softly. They hadn’t exactly put a label on their relationship, but it was definitely not just platonic. 

And it meant that she was going to have to be completely and totally honest with him from now on if she wanted to keep that in tact. Galina drew in a slow breath, her hands deep in the pockets of her jacket. She could tell him the truth without outing her friend’s identity. She just wasn’t sure the busy streets of New York were the best place to tell him what she knew. 

Galina looked around. No one seemed to be paying attention to them but that didn’t mean they weren’t. She had been exceptionally careful not to end up on someone’s radar when she’d been back in Russia, and this was a risk she was going to have to take if she wanted to keep Mikhail in her life. 

“There are...things happening back home that I thought were over. That we all thought were over,” she said slowly. “It’s like no matter how many times they’re taken down they always get back up. We thought things like the Winter Soldier project and the Black Widow project were done but that’s not the case.” Galina paused to gather her thoughts. This was something she never wanted to talk about because the idea of it made her sick. 

A shudder moved down her spine and Galina wrapped her arms around herself as she looked up at Mikhail once more. “призрак операции,” she muttered. Spectre Ops. “It’s their new program, only they aren’t trafficking children under the guise of artistic education. They’re creating their soldiers.” 

[ultradynamo]

@balshoy-medvyed​​

When the decision was not a clear one to make, it came down to a basic weighing scales - pros and cons. that was how the most serious decisions in this world were made, was it not? At a table full of suited and booted men, who liked to discuss ridiculous numbers over expensive coffee before the conversation inevitably turned to whether or not the advantages outnumbered the disadvantages.

What would the benefits be to hearing Galina’s explanation? Understanding. A friend. A confidante - the relationship that had barely began to bloom? The cons? She would leave again. Perhaps not today nor tomorrow nor even a month down the line, but eventually - once he had allowed himself to believe that there was a possible future. 

Eyeing the upturned glass, Mikhail felt the lingering tang on his tongue, the back of his throat burning and he couldn’t tell whether it was from the vodka or the bile from his stomach anymore. the night had not started out the best and his mood had taken a dive down the depths of a hole right now.

Standing from the stool, the man pulled on his jacket, unfurling some bills from his pocket and placing them on the counter to cover his tab and the drink Galina was nursing.

“You have my ear for as long as it takes to reach home.” Tongue glued to the roof of his mouth, Mikhail stopped short of stating my home.

It’s a start. Galina can’t ask for anything more than that for now. She frowns faintly as he places bills on the top of the bar, enough to pay for her drink she hasn’t finished, before standing to follow Mikhail out onto the street. The cold air that wrapped around her caused her to shiver and she pulled her coat even tighter around her lithe frame. No matter where she was born or how much time she has previously spent in Russia, Galina has never liked the cold. She used to dream about moving some place tropical where no one knew who she was or what she’d done in the past. 

But she only had so much time to try and get through to Mikhail, so she forced herself to stop fantasizing and focus. Mikhail’s apartment was only a few blocks away. She tucked away the knowledge that he referred to it as “home” instead of just “my home”. It was likely childish to believe it meant anything. 

Galina tucked her hands into her pockets as she fell into step with Mikhail. The streets of New York were still busy even at this hour though people tended to skirt around them as opposed to the other way around. “It wasn’t just people from the past that made me leave,” she said slowly. “That was a big part of it, of course, but there was something else that came up. A friend needed my help and I owed it to them.” She was being vague with the details because that friend had asked for her discretion. 

She looked up at Mikhail with a small frown, wondering what he would do with this information or how it would affect their current tension. “I can’t tell you anymore than that because it’s not my story. I promised them their secret was safe with me. I’m sorry.” 

Galina let silence fall between them for several moments before she spoke again. “I know you don’t trust me, Mischa. I just hope that I can earn that back one day.” It was on the tip of her tongue to tell Mikhail she loved him, had loved him for ages, but the words stalled just before they passed her lips. Galina didn’t want to hear him say he didn’t love her back.

[ultradynamo]

                                     Under investigation, lies a bitter heart                                      Let the poison sink in, let it leave its mark

                                                google doc || carrd || ©️

[ultradynamo]

balshoy-medvyed​:

Time and time again, the cycle repeated itself. Over and over, and endless rinse and repeat — the same faces that pitched their stake just long enough for him to allow himself to perhaps get used to their presence. Or even worse than that, to where he actively enjoyed sought to seek out their company.

And then they left.

Nikolai? Oh well, he just about held the record at this stage. Laynia? She had been through far too much for one person, and yet there was an ugly nugget of selfishness that rose up in his throat: why was he the one always reaching out? Why was he the one relegated to try and fix fences he had not broken? Were they not meant to be siblings? In theory, perhaps, but equally he had been mistaken this whole time - maybe it was blood that counted more than familial choices?

Sucking in a deep breath, Mikhail turned his glass so that it danced along the rime of its base, his index finger keeping it precarious balanced. He didn’t look up. Instead Mikhail directed his answer at the innocent glass.

“Почему? Чтобы тебе стало лучше?“ Dark brows meeting in a deep furrow, Mikhail gave the glass another wistful twirl with his fingers before picking it up and setting it upside down on the counter with far more of a bang than what was necessary.

“I have had enough of making others feel better.”

galina stared at him for a moment, unsure of what to say to that. no, she hadn’t asked him to look at her to make her feel better. it wasn’t about that. it wasn’t even about seeking forgiveness because she knew she’d fucked up. try as she may, galina couldn’t seem to not fuck up. she had crossed so many people in the past and it caught up to her every time. there would be a few months of peace before someone else showed up seeking reparations. 

and yet she hadn’t seemed to learn she could be honest with mikhail. she didn’t have to disappear. yet every time she tried to tell him certain things it was as though her tongue was paralyzed. galina knew she had a deep seated fear of rejection, especially from someone whom she cared about as much as she did mikhail.

but that wasn’t his fault either. these were her issues to work through. she had no right to keep asking him for his patience and understanding. she was; however, ultimately selfish and would so do anyway. 

the bang of the glass on the counter caused her to tense for just a moment. the middle of a bar wasn’t really a place to continue this conversation. galina just wasn’t sure she could get mikhail to leave with her. 

‘i don’t want you to make me feel better,’ she said. ‘i don’t expect you to forgive me any time soon, but i’m also not giving up. if you’d just let me explain...’

[robertbrucebannerphd]

My muse is dead. Tell me how yours is dealing with it.

[gigastacyoftheday]

Today’s Giga Stacy is Meghan Ory

[ultradynamo]

May change Galya’s FC to Meghan Ory because she’s looks like she’s got more attitude. And Galya’s mostly a snarky bitch, lbr.

ETA: Eh...I did it. 

[ultradynamo]

balshoy-medvyed​:

Apology: a regretful acknowledgement of an offence or failure. That was what school taught you. But rarely did those lessons entail that apologies had a limited reusable value. If you issued one for the same offence over and over, it lost its value. The same as an oath.

Your value was your oath, no? In his world, that was how it worked. Even the most stringent of General or lowliest recruit - their ability to hold true to their word would be talked about long after they had fallen from favour or fallen to a bullet.

Lifting the tumbler to his lips, Mikhail took a generous swig of the vodka, rolling the smooth spirit across his tongue, savouring the mix of flavours across the tart burn when it met the back of his throat and he swallowed thickly.

“Everything in this life is by choice. The only reason you say it is not, is to shirk responsibility and blame … if that is your choice, then so be it.”

she sucked in a breath. galina had, of course, expected him to be upset. she had even expected his ire. it was the seeming lack of either that worried more than anything. his words sliced through her and she winced. she had made a choice, yes. galina had thought she was doing the right thing. they all knew the ghosts of their pasts sometimes showed up, learned their weaknesses and used said weaknesses against them. galina had been stupid enough to get complacent, naive enough to think she'd paid all her debts. whenever the light at the end of the tunnel got brighter, something pulled her back.

'you're right,' she said quietly. 'it was a choice i made. i wasn't trying to shirk responsbility or shift blame, mikhail. i just...i didn't want them to hurt you.' galina stared into her glass, the amber liquid untouched insofar. 'i know you can take care of yourself, fight for yourself. i just didn't want you to have to.'

finally, she took the glass and downed the drink. the bartender, seemingly reading the tension between her and mikhail, replaced it without being asked. galina never took her eyes off of the man next to her. she wanted his forgiveness. it was all she truly hoped for because hoping for more might break her heart all over again.

'Миша, посмотри на меня, пожалуйста'

[ultradynamo]

she had been sure mikhail would be in one of two places; his apartment or this bar. when she had gotten no answer at his door, she'd proceeded to the bar and had been in luck. he was there but he looked worse for wear. they hadn't spoken in such a long time and the guilt that ate at her insides were tenfold as she looked at him. what happened while she was away? where had he gone? what had he done? galina had had little information about any of her friends or associates since she had been back in siberia.

galina didn't wait for an invitation to sit down and slid onto the stool next to him. the bartender approached and she ordered an old fashioned, giving the young guy her credit card to open a tab. god knew she was probably going to need it tonight. she waited until her drink was in front of her before turning her body to face mikhail.

'извини, миша' she drew in a shaky breath. 'it wasn't by choice. i know i made a promise and i broke it, but it was so much more complicated than that. if i hadn't left...it would have been you they punished instead of me. i couldn't let that happen.' not for her. he had done enough for her already and she hadn't been about to let him suffer for her mistakes.

@balshoy-medvyed​​ continued from HERE.

[rpmemes-gallery]

MUSE IS UNDER TRUTH SERUM FOR ONE HOUR. ASK ME ANYTHING. NOTHING IS OFF LIMITS AND EVERYTHING MUST BE ANSWERED. GO!

[darkstar-petrovna]

‘ i know … and let me guess, he told you he could deal with bullets and threats? ’

[ultradynamo]

‘what do you think? then i was asked to make promises which i fully intend to keep this time.’ galina loosed a slow breath. ‘how’re you doing...considering the circumstances?’

[darkstar-petrovna]

@ultradynamo

‘ i know we’ve never quite seen eye to eye, galina. but he really missed you. ’

[ultradynamo]

‘i didn’t leave because i wanted to. i left because i had to. the last thing i wanted was bullets meant for me to find him.’

[balshoy-medvyed]

free of her past. was that not what they each wanted, in one way or another? was that not what he had wished for when coming here? before nikolai had come back into his life. before laynia had come back into their lives … long before yuri had found his way state-side, and bucky — before his past had become the present yet again.

‘ i am asking you to do far more than you may know, galina. ’

for all their time together, not once had the concept of children ever entered the realm of possibility; he had never broached the subject with her, but mikhail had certainly known his own reasons for it … how could it be construed as fair to put a child through the possibility of inheriting the curse he had long since grown accustomed to?

‘ — you must promise me something. ’ his gaze lingering on the thumb that brushed along his knuckles, ‘ if you leave again, you tell me … and that you do not leave again. ’ a smiled played across his face as he tugged her hand to his lips, a chaste kiss to its back, ‘ — and da, i do realise how those two promises contradict each other. ’

[ultradynamo]

she was about to speak to tell him that she did know what he wasn’t asking but what she was offering. the idea of children terrified her but this child needed mikhail in the absence of laynia. galina understood that and she understood that the child was like his blood. she would never ask mikhail to turn away from him. she didn’t have the chance though because he was plowing on and she closed her mouth, allowing him to speak.

a smile crossed her features and she used her free hand to moved a piece of his hair from his face. her fingertips trailed along his jaw and she leaned in to kiss him gently. 

‘i’m not going anywhere,’ she murmured softly. ‘i swear. i want to be with you, mikhail. no matter what. i’ll help you with your nephew. it’ll be fun.’

[sestragif]

Sarah 2x02

[balshoy-medvyed]

he’d had every intention of clinging on to the defiance - the voice that had told him going into this conversation, that it didn’t make sense anymore. it would never work. she had left without a goodbye, no word nor whisper of where she was going, and no sign that she hadn’t been hurt or killed along the way; no. merely a limbo in which he had been free to sit and contemplate all which he should have said or done.

but those thought hardly mattered now. at least, that was the mantra he had repeated over and over in his head; things were different. he had promised nikolai that he would take care of laynia’s son - he had sworn to the latter that he would do the same; his nephew was now his responsibility to raise. baggage was one thing, a child was a totally different matter.

and yet, it didn’t take much to fracture that resolve. merely a soft touch and her words of reassurance and a breath heaved in his chest - head and heart at loggerheads once more. mikhail let his eyes flit shut, voice low as he took her hand, ‘ i cannot ask you to do this — you do not know what you are promising to do, galina. i have no idea how this will all pan out. i do not know if she will ever get out, for now i am her son’s guardian. ’

[ultradynamo]

she could see the conflict crossing over his features as though he were trying to decide whether to accept her back into his life or reject her. it was a long few seconds before his resolve seemed to crumble and his hand gripped hers back. galina was not blind. she knew what she had done, up and leaving without a word, had hurt him and for that she felt truly terrible. perhaps he would understand once she had the chance to explain. for the moment, she allowed him the chance to speak without interrupting.

‘you’re not asking me to do anything,’ she murmured softly when he finished. ‘i’m offering to be here for you so you don’t have to do this alone. i know this can’t be easy for you, mikhail. laynia being locked away. nikolai always on the fritz and raising your nephew. all of that...i want to be here with you to help you. i know i haven’t given you any reason to trust me but i want to try. i want to try and regain that lost trust.’ galina didn’t expect mikhail to accept her back into his heart. he had no reason to but if she could at least prove to him that she wasn’t leaving again, perhaps they could start over. 

her eyes dropped to their hands and her thumb moved gently along his knuckles. ‘i want you to know the reason i left was because i wanted to finally be free of my past. i wanted to be able to have a future to look forward to with you that didn’t have my debts as a constant shadow over us. i know you paid part of that debt for me and for it i’m truly grateful but there was so much more. i had to go. i had to find a way to clear my name of all the stains i had. i’m honestly surprised i made it out alive.’ she gave a small smile though it was lacking in any real humor. ‘i hope you can forgive me for that. when i came back to you, i wanted it to be with a clean slate so we could be together without me being a danger to you or the people you love.’