Recent listening—
Julia Holter, Aviary (2018) I can’t recall in recent memory feeling as intensely about a piece of music as I did when I listened to the opening track of this album, “Turn The Lights On”, for the first time. It is a magnificent cacophony. The violence with which it struck me brought me the satisfaction of finding something which I had been looking for for a long time. And while nothing on the rest of the album comes close to the joyous recklessness of the opener, there are subtler pleasures to be found. It’s highly apparent that she’s incredibly well musically educated but the playfulness of her explorations is anything but academic. It’s full of character, and shamelessly curious. It seems, to me, to be her most significant work to date. It’s very much grown from each of her previous works, but especially from Tragedy, her first, her roughest and most experimental, and from Have You In My Wilderness, her latest and most polished. At 90 minutes, it’s an impressive monument. It’s at times immediate and at others impenetrable, but never so much that you want to stop listening.
Radiohead, The King of Limbs (2011) There was a time, not so long ago, when I was completely addicted to this album. I could not listen to anything else for three days or so. Along with In Rainbows, this is one of Radiohead's most unified albums—in texture, theme, flow, and general atmosphere. It's surprising that their most danceable album is also one of their most nourishing. The instrumentation is sparse, the production low-key, and the form meditative. Each track unfolds with a patient ease, without force, grounded by the supple line of Colin's base and the metronomic pace of Phil's beat. While Thom croons above, the middle ground is inhabited by images unresolved that come and go, alien and fleeting but profound in their imprint. This album is rather unfairly maligned. It’s detractors claim it to be cold and ineffective. But they miss the subtlety with which so much blooms from so little. There is plenty of life to be found in these supple forests.
Bill Evans and Jim Hall, Undercurrent (1962) It's quite wonderful that two people can make such a world of sound entirely unto themselves. It's a fragile thing, and you can hear its fragility in the catching breaths lying here and there, in the sensitivity of the interplay between the two, and in the sense that without one the other would be nothing. Smaller ensembles are the ones that most inspire me to play. I want to be part of the creation of worlds like these, to inhabit them as they do, and to fill them with my own music, my own voice. I listen and I am comforted by the fact that beauty such as this is possible.
Yo La Tengo, I Can Hear the Heart Beating as One (1997) This album has appeared on my site before. Half a year ago (the last time I posted properly) I would have balked at the thought of writing about the same album twice because I saw it as a cheap way to fill up words by talking about something you’ve already talked about before. And writing’s meant to be hard, right? But I have changed since then. I could say the same thing about any arbitrary six month period in my life. When you change, the meanings of the things around you also change. The world changes to reflect a world of change in you. Six months ago I thought that “Autumn Sweater” was a perfect song. To me it represented feelings that I knew I had not understood yet, and yet I had idealised them to the point where they felt that they somehow belonged to me. Much of the music I listened to was like this. They were not my emotions, but I stole them anyway. “Autumn Sweater” is a love song, and I had stolen its love. To me it felt like vulnerability, like innocent desire, and like a warm blanket, and I thought, this must be what love is. Then I remembered that it wasn’t mine, and the loneliness came back, stronger than before. I would wonder what it would be like to feel like how the song feels, to feel as cosy in the embrace of another as I did in the embrace of the sound. I would wonder what it would be like to feel an affection for someone as pure as the affection in the music, and despair at the futility of finding her. But despite this there was sweetness in the bitterness, and this was why I thought it was a perfect song. I still think it’s a perfect song. So what is the difference between now and then? It’s that the love is now mine, and that there’s no more bitterness. It’s that I have found her.
Johannes Brahms, Clarinet Quintet, Op. 115 (1891) On my second day in Vienna the sky didn't know whether to rain or to snow. When I entered the main gates of the Zentralfriedhof it had decided on somewhere in between, and as the sleet coursed into my coat, Brahms's First coursed into my ears. I was in search of him. I found Beethoven first, and then Schubert, and I gave them time, thinking how fitting it was that they lay next to each other. Brahms was around the corner, obscured from the main clearing by a tree. In its shelter I stood before him. I listened to the last movement of his last orchestral work, the Finale-Passacaglia of the Fourth Symphony. I was deeply moved. I've probably spent more time listening to and playing his music than I have of any other composer, artist, or band. I've felt his music in my ears and under my fingers, in my breath and in my chest. I've read it like a novel, taken it like bread. And now, my eyes have lain where he lies.














