Unbekkannte Leben

♡Lost in between two parallel worlds♡ ♡ je suis perdu dans ce monde ♡

[museify]

[neostradajapan2007]

[findher]

𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒹 𝒽ℯ𝓇

[xoxomyah]

[neostradajapan2007]

[eggsdoodz]

ily miffy 🩷

[unbekannteleben]

I used to wake up to the sunlight gently whispering the start of a new day. The air smelling like the lilacs and the fresh cut grass. Birds busily chirping a happy melody. But now, I wake up to nothing. I wake up to the heavy feeling of responsibilities. The responsibility to hold myself up. To be the person people want me to be. I wake up to loneliness. Nothing. Nothing fulfills the blank feeling of need. I feel sheer, like the wind blows through me. People don’t see me, and I don’t let them see me. Loneliness so strong, no matter how hard I try to comfort myself, the words, thoughts, and memory all fall through, leaving me more empty than I was before. Closing my eyes to remember what life used to be like. What I used to imagined my life would be like. Will I be feeling this way for the rest of my life? The fear is far too dooming to face. So I’ll be, just a sheer fabric, blowing in the direction the wind takes me. Until maybe one day, I’ll land on a lilac tree, and birds will sing to me and build a nest. And I’ll close my eyes and smile an empty smile.

[unbekannteleben]

To be back in those sweet and simple days, when we would buy the Hawaiian Sunset air freshener and listen to It’s 5 O’clock Somewhere, saying that one day we’ll go on vacation.

[sky-sylph]

Doug

[marinaandthediamonds-poland]

[omgrosecolouredglasses]

[omgrosecolouredglasses]

🎟🎟

[trap-dashian-deactivated2016112]

[unbekannteleben]

She screamed and yelled as I drove her to what seemed like was going to be some sort of salvation. 

“I fucking hate you. Fuck you! FUCK YOU!!!! FUCK YOU!!”

she screamed. 

“Me too.” 

I whispered.

Silence. 

My heart pounding. Praying we’ll make it. My mouth dry. Hands sweating. 

We finally made it.

She refused to walk in. 

Me, being a broken record. 

“It’ll be okay. They’re nice. They can help you.”

Finally, one step in. 

We sit down in a dark room, on a dark sofa. 

Like hitting a switch, she turned off. 

Like her soul left her body. 

Her eyes closed, her head on my shoulder.

So peaceful, almost unrecognizable. 

Resembling a new born baby, no fear, no trauma. 

Then why am I crying. 

Oh wow, we’re going to be free. We’re finally going to be free. 

I can’t stop my tears. 

I haven’t felt so much emotion before.

The pain, the hatred, the unforgivable grudge for what they’d done to us. 

Me, a broken record again, “It’s gonna be okay. It’s gonna be okay.”

Who was I telling that to? Her or myself? 

She was asleep, so peacefully. 

Finally a counselor came in to talk to her.

I left the room, just to see her a few minutes later. 

“have a nice day.” They said.

...What?

My eyes still full of tears, and all I can think is “Help! PLEASE HELP!”

She runs outside towards the road. 

I chase after her life. 

I grab her jacket. 

“What happened? Where are you going?!!!!!”

She keeps walking. Walking. Walking. Walking. 

I walk behind her with my head down. 

I was devastated. 

Who’s going to help ME now?

So selfish.

I grab her jacket. She struggles.

“where are you going?” 

“Home”

“...where’s home? Is it 49 Country Meadow Road?”

“...no, that’s not my home. I don’t know where my home is.”

“Then let’s go find home for you okay?”

“I don’t want to go back. I don’t ever want to go back to Country Meadow.”

“You don’t have to. You don’t ever have to.”

I hold her hand, walk back to the place where I thought would be salvation. 

Same thing over again.

But this time I was asked to take her to the hospital. 

Silent drive to the hospital. 

Hours in the hospital. 

Hours and hours and hours. 

Listening to the clock tick. 

Until her brother and sister came to take care of her. 

Oh, so she does have family. 

Okay. 

“Thank you. We got it from here.”

“No problem, have a great night.”

Okay

[fromhersoul]

[kittyb4e]

[pvnk-bitch]