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#683

“Look. If this is gonna happen then you need to do it. I can’t risk getting stabbed again. I just can’t.”

“Wait, AGAIN?”

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#682

“If we’re assigning blame then this is your fault for leaving me alone with explosives in the first place.”

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#681

“I don’t know about you, but I think not dying was a pretty good birthday present.”

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#680

“Please tell me that animal isn’t the one the zoo is missing. Tell me the truth.”

“Well I can’t do both.”

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#679

“It’s the middle of the night and I just watched our house catch on fire and it was 100 percent your fault. Don’t touch anything else.”

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#678

“Hey, doesn’t that belong in the Louvre?”

“Yeah? What’s your point?”

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#677

“The plan was going great until we got arrested.”

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#676

“You know, before yesterday I had never jumped off the top of a building.”

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#675

The ghosts in my house wouldn't be so bad if they could just stop trying to cook.

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#674

It was the most dramatic coffee shop she had ever set foot in.

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#673

Everything was covered in snow except for a perfect circle right in the middle of the yard.

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#672

It was a mishap, clearly. The wrong letter got delivered to the wrong place at the wrong time, and exactly the wrong thing happened as a consequence.

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#671

She kept all kinds of odds and ends in a little trio of silver pots. She said it had a kind of magic to them. Turns out she was right.

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#670

They found a body in the basement, which was a little bit creepy because there was nothing down there a minute ago.

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#669

It was random and silly and barely 1 o'clock in the morning, but they found themselves dancing in the darkened living room to no music and a whole lot of laughter.

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#668

Something stood at the end of the hallway, watching and waiting and perfectly patient.

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#667

Maybe he was bitter and conditioned to expecting horrible things, but he was surprised when nothing ended up on fire.

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