Finally Free

Connor, 21, New York

[littlestpersimmon]

portraits

[jasmine-scented]

I need to have a picnic on a lavender field in France during a sunny midsummer afternoon at least once in my life

[chaosquotient]

when i see a cute boy i be like

[just-shower-thoughts]

If a red head works at a bakery that makes him a ginger bread man

[scruffy-boy]

just wanna be pinned down and kissed slowly

[edgebug]

so when i was 7 or 8 i’d “write letters to hermione granger” and set them out on the piano in the living room every night with my stuffed toy owl and every morning i’d have a letter from hermione back, sitting at the foot of my bed, and hermione and i corresponded like that for months and i’d just like to thank my mom for writing out a “letter from hermione” for me every single night

[sure-to-lure-someone-bad-deacti]

That is the cutest thing I’ve ever read oh my god

[justastormie]

so when i was about the same age i got really into both ciphers and james madison (idk don’t ask) so i just randomly started writing these letters like i was james madison writing to my own spy ring, using all kinds of ciphers. constantly writing that WE MUST SWITCH CIPHERS THE BRITISH ARE ON TO US. and it wasn’t every night because the ciphers kept getting more complex, but it was about one every week for six months and my mother always responded. and she always found the letters, because i took to hiding them in increasingly more obscure locations because spies, obviously. 

i didn’t realize how much work this was until i snuck down late one night for a cookie. and saw my mother bent over my giant book of ciphers and muttering to the dog “is this another code or can she not spell?” (i could not and still can not spell) and i was a bit angry at first but i kept watching and she KEPT AT IT. checking everything in that book against my letter and i never felt so loved. my mom with a full time job sitting up to figure out my silly letters said just because i enjoyed the game. 

i got her this bio of james madison a few years ago for xmas with a simple number substitution cipher on the inside saying “In thanks for your dedicated years of service, your daughter and occasional President.” She still has it pride of place on her desk next to the obligatory kid pics

so yeah cute mom story for the day. 

[unicornempire]

These are some of the best secret mom stories I’ve ever read, omg.

[veryspecialpictures]

[tastyblkman2]

PornHub is outta control.. 

[katswenski]

PLEASE ENJOY YOUR MEAL!! My website – My Instagram – See me on Webtoon!

[star-spangled-jackass]

this is the best

[awwww-cute]

[blackandmildwithgod]

If you scroll pass this you don’t got ten dollars

[apollonne-deactivated20201016]

Need my $10

[apollonne-deactivated20201016]

Guys i literally just got tipped $10 at work

[princesstigerbelle]

But I want the cat

[freshbrewedlife]

[felsicgay-deactivated20200528]

Unfortunately men are hot sometimes

[reddpenn]

Anyway, do you guys want to see my Cool Rocks?

This is my grandfather’s rock.  It is Probably a Garnet, which he mined out himself when he was in college studying to be a geologist.

Though you may assume this is a Small Rock, it is in fact a very Large Rock, and also a very Heavy Rock, but most especially a very Square Rock, which is what makes it particularly cool.

Here we have a rock which used to be a tree.  This rock is petrified wood!  It was one of my very first Cool Rocks!

Speaking of rocks that used to be things that were not rocks, this rock is Petoskey stone!  This rock used to be a coral.  Let’s get a good look at those patterns.

Now that’s a Cool Rock!

Amethyst?  It’s an Okay Rock.  If you are looking for an inexpensive rock to start your collection, amethyst is the way to go.  It’s a quartz with a deep purple color.  A very nice, if average, rock.

Now citrine… Citrine is a Cool Rock!  It’s a smoky quartz with a lovely honey color.  The druzy on my chunk of citrine has a wonderful sparkle.

This is my Amazonite!  It grew that hexagon shape all by itself!!  This specimen is from Colorado.

Look at this shiny little slice of rock!  This rock is Tiger Iron, and those bands of red and orange glow beautifully with some light behind them.  These different colored bands are made from Hematite (the dark silver), Jasper (the red-orange), and Tiger-Eye quartz (the yellow-orange).

Here’s a rock you’ve probably seen before!  This Cool Rock is Malachite.  The patterns and rings are from the stalagmites this little egg was carved from.

Whoa, look at this giant slab of Extremely Cool Rock!!!  These crystals formed in the cracks of fossilized mud, to make the awesome patterns in this geode of Septarian!  This is my second best rock.

This is my Best and most Favorite Cool Rock.  In this dark room it’s a dull little grey rock, but if I move it closer to the light…

Those glints of gold!  Those veins of blue!  This rock is most certainly Labradorite, which changes color spectacularly when the light hits it just right.  Let’s put it in direct sunlight.

Yes!!  YES!!  There it is!!  The Best and Coolest Rock!!!!!

[pruningthisbranch-deactivated20]

[heteroerotic]

Don’t talk to me unless you’re handing me this bouquet to ask for my hand in marriage

[wallpatterns-deactivated2019120]

The other day I went to McDonald’s with my family and the guy who took my order was really loud and was basically like “HAPPY HOLIDAYS WHAT CAN I GET YOU” and I was like wow I can’t let this guy outmatch me so I yelled “I’LL TAKE A HAPPY MEAL WITH THE NUG NUGS IF I MAY” you know, like a natural well-adjusted epitome of adulthood 19 year old and he was like “CERTAINLY WOULD YOU LIKE THE MIGHTY KIDS MEAL INSTEAD WITH EXTRA FRIES” and I was so sleep deprived I essentially blacked out and apparently leaned over the counter like I was robbing the place, raised my eyebrow like a suave robin hood and said “HECK YES I WOULD GOOD SIR” and then I sat down and he yelled from across the store “WOULD YOU LIKE THE PURPLE OR BLUE SPIDER-MAN” and since purple is the more superior color that’s how I answered and long story short my parents think college changed me and that I’m now the poster child for being social and I’ve only been asked once why I’m not in a relationship yet but I know it’s gonna be brought up again and how do i tell my parents it’s because whenever I eat in the dining hall I spend the entire time playing bumper cars with the wheeley chairs and all I eat is pixie sticks and the last time I was in the library (where I’m supposed to work next semester, deAr GoD) I ripped my leggings in the bathroom pulling up my pants and I walked the entire 20 mins back to my dorm with my neon underwear peeking out from the holes like a 17th century harlot with a cocaine addiction and I’ve essentially been living off jars of peanut butter and the soundtrack to the bee movie for the past year

[sqooops]

there’s more information in this post than there was in the library of alexandria

[adventure-heart]

It’s Colder in Chicago Illinois than Antartica!❄️

[tarantula-veins-deactivated2023]

This literally looks like a post apocalyptic universe WHY is no one talking about that

[fuckyeahryanmcginley-blog]

[fuckyeahryanmcginley-blog]

RYAN (HEAD-BUTT), 1999 “That’s not my blood. I was making out with my main squeeze on a stoop in the East Village and some macho jock dickhead walked by and called us fags. I don’t think he expected me to get up in his face. We scrapped a bit and then I head-butted him and could feel his nose break on my forehead. We ran for blocks, laughing at the top of our lungs, and then jumped into bed, where my boyfriend took this picture of me.”

[morntingglow]

(via fuckyeahryanmcginley-blog)

[nessa007]

PREACH

[wreathedinscales]

Andy Samberg is what now

[sk8-ing]

*I THOUGHT HE WAS A 20 SOMETHING