I will, i will never shut up about this, you can be annoyed with me but i really can't and won't shut up about phupha saying "i feel lonely."
It still stings up to this day every time i hear it. P'aof told his part of this scene, when he read the novel and immediately got surged by pity for phupha. He said, he could feel the loneliness, the sadness of phupha being alone on the hill with a sexual orientation that no one in the village had. So, he couldn't experience anything. Plus, phu wasn't immune to age. He's above 30 years old and still counting.
What he wanted was no longer adventure. Phu's job was adventurous enough and it slowly fatigued him. He yearned for a home. Not the physical but the reason to come home, because that's what his sore muscles worth.
Whenever phupha teased tian about being his wife, tian thought of it explicitly because he's just 21 years old or so. What tian failed to catch was phu wasn't actually talking about him being a wife. He was talking about being a life companion. This is what they call as adult approach.
And this understanding process would take time as tian was only a young adult. That's why phupha's approach was subtle, always trying to balance between a potential love interest and a patron figure. He didn't want to rush because tian might see him wrong or feel uncomfortable.
This didn't help with his reclusive nature and lack of experience in dating. His job as a chief required him to be on the serious side most of the time. Only Nam could make him open up more but not completely. He's used to building a big wall surrounding himself, being reticent was a way to avoid possible heartbreak.
This actually connects to why he's so angry when he found out about tian. He's afraid tian wasn't the tian he had acknowledged because tian, so far, was just behaving like that to reminisce torfun. But this will be in another post cus it's another story.
To conclude, phupha's confession about him being lonely might be just a light remark for some people. But idk this hits me so bad since 1) i relate to phupha personality-wise, 2) i didn't expect a thai drama to be so deep and immersive.
P'aof really gets out of thai drama fashion that "wastes no time" to let audiences know that details and in-depth character understanding are more important as they make more dynamics and better visual story-telling with various symbolisms and analogies that can substitute the script. The growth of atots characters' relationship are way more significant in my opinion, unlike what some people believe that there's a little to no growth. Maybe, you just miss the 'street signs.'
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