❛ would you mind staying? ❜
dodie clark originals | sentence meme.
he should go, he knows that. it’s two in the morning and cam is drunk ( he’s passed the point of fun and switched to tired, sitting in his bed staring at lewis with an expectant gaze ) and lewis knows he has to leave before something happens. he’s drunk too, or tipsy at the most, and he’s not entirely in control of his mind right now. if lou were sober, he would switch off cam’s light and leave; his mind wouldn’t let itself rest upon the idealisation that they could have something – that maybe this was when it would finally happen and lou could stop pining for a few moments.
❛ i can’t but – cam? ❜ drunk and tired, his hands are shaking on the doorknob. there is nothing he can do except stare at camden and remember that even though they’ll have each other for many more years to come, lou will have to bury how he feels and pretend it doesn’t hurt. but, even with camden, it would still be far from good. lou’s mortality sits in the silence between them, a constant reminder that this is all temporary. they’ve been friends for ten years and for two, lewis has pretended he’s okay with ‘just friends’. his mother calls camden his “other half” ( soulmate ) and he swallows the taste of unrequited love.
the words sit, stewing, and he almost wants to say it– even if they’re drunk and alone, and they might not remember this come morning. it would be ten times easier to just leave and not think about all the things he can’t do, like love cam. as a friend, perhaps, but not like this. he is too afraid, always has been, and his whole life has been him avoiding thinking, feeling. fear of dying is understandable, common, but dying and knowing camden can’t follow? nothing is more terrifying.
❛ get some sleep, mate.❜ i love you. please be in love with me, too.
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