Summary: Being in a relationship with an Idol was hard enough, you didnât need the added stress of other women flirting with him. Good thing he knows you better than you know yourself.
Genre: Slight Angst, Smut, Fluff
Pairing: Hyunjin x Reader
Warnings: Jealousy, Insecurity, Self Doubt
A.N: I wrote this as a gift to my best friend, and now Iâm spiraling into wanted to make 100 more.
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These celebrity parties normally never bothered me. I was used to smiling and just nodding my head as big name idols rambled to me about a lifestyle I completely didn't understand. But that was okay. I didnât mind and often I enjoyed getting to know more about the life Hyunjin lived.
When we first started seeing each other two years ago, I made it clear that I didnât want to share that type of lifestyle with him yet. I wanted something quieter, more romantic. But of course that only got to last a while, luckily we both knew it would happen. That Hyunjins relationship with me would get leaked. It was horrible at first, with fans sending death threats and him needing extra security. But now things have settled down and as my punishment I get to go to these parties.
Worse was that these were not just social events for the boys but also work. Which meant Hyunjin was off playing the politics of his life. And I was forced to listen as Changbin listed off all his reasons for getting the idols to play a baseball tournament.
âOh come on, you have to see it right? All of us in those cute little outfits running around? The fans would eat out of our hands! Imagine how cute Hyunjinnie would look.â
âBin, your fans would be too focused on how bad you all are to pay attention to the outfits.â I said while taking a sip of champagne. It was expensive and still tasted like shit.
âWhere is your boyfriend, I need someone to team up with,â and with that he started whipping his head around to look for Hyunjin. I was completely unbothered by his antics so I just shook my head and looked down to check the time on my phone. But when I looked back I saw that his eyes had grown three sizes bigger. I followed Changbins gaze to the corner of the room where Hyunjin was sitting on a chair with two girls on each arm rest. They were giggling at something he said, and touching his shoulder flirtatiously.
Not here. Don't make a scene, anywhere but here.
As if he could feel the jealousy radiating off me, Changbin turned to me trying to diffuse the situation. âIâm sure he doesnât even realize what they're doing.â
I took my glass of champagne and swished it down in one gulp. âNo, maybe not, but Iâm not sure that makes it any better.â
I couldnât stop myself from staring at them. The way both girls would lean into his sides. It was driving me crazy. It made me even more sick when I saw Hyunjin look up and smile at one of them. What kind of game was he playing? Did he want cheating rumors to start, because this is exactly how you get into that kind of scandal. Or maybe he just genuinely enjoyed the attention. The thought he was enjoying himself started a deep burning in my chest and before I knew it my vision was blurring.
Sometimes it felt like Hyunjin knew something was wrong when he shouldn't. There have been too many days after work where I couldnât find the energy to make an effort, and before I could even tell him, heâd be calling me. Telling me how much he loves me, and that no matter what heâd be there for me. That sixth sense he had, must have been the reason his brows scrunched and he looked up to meet my glare.
There was no way from that distance he could have seen me on the verge of crying. But I guess from my deep set frown he knew something was wrong. He started to get up but one of the girls started pouting, put a hand on his chest and pulled him back into the chair. I saw him say something to the girl but then the other put her hand on his thigh. Way too high for it to be innocent. And that was enough for me. I wasnât going to sit here and watch my boyfriend get felt up.
âHey Bin, can I take your dorm key? I left my car keys there and Iâm not feeling too well.â I let the lie slip out even though I knew he was going to call my bluff.
âItâs pretty cold outside, do you want me to call you a taxi?â
âNo really, Iâd rather walk. Give me a chance to ease my stomach.â He gave me a sympathetic look before digging into his pockets to retrieve a key. He dropped it in my hand before walking off in the direction of Chan and Felix.
I didnât waste any more time, and rushed to grab my coat and head for the doors. The air outside instantly nipped at my nose and cheeks. Changbin wasnât kidding, it was unbearably cold. But the temperature was helping cool down the fire burning inside of me. Every time I thought of her fingers grazing his thigh it ignited stronger. Why didnât he stop them? Was he really enjoying it like I thought? I know that heâs surrounded by beautiful idols every day but never once have I ever felt insecure. Not until then at least. That definitely made me insecure, hyper aware of every flaw on my body.
Three quick beeps from my phone pulled me out of my spiraling thoughts.
Hey sweetheart, where did you go? I saw you one second and then you were gone.
Please tell me you arenât walking home.
Changbin told me you left and then called me an idiot� Did I do something????
I didnât have the energy for it. I just wanted to get back to my apartment and sleep. I clicked my phone off and instantly another text came through
I know you saw those. Youâre making me anxious. Can you please tell me whatâs going on baby? I canât leave for a bit more, will you at least let me know youâre okay?
A petty thought came to me, one that I knew wasnât right but I wanted to hurt him like how I felt hurt. If he was fine with having two random girls flirt with him all night, then he would be perfectly fine not knowing if I was okay or not. Imagining him panicking over me made me feel a little better, which also made me feel insanely guilty. Whatever, he could handle one night of worrying about me.
The rest of the walk didnât feel real. I couldnât recall a single thing from my walk, only that my insides were too numb for me to register any of the numbing on the outside. But when I walked into the dorm building, my ears started to hurt from the cold. I really needed a shower, something to warm me up and calm me down.
It was rare that the dorms were this quiet. It was nice.
I figured I still had a good few hours before any of them came home, and Hyunjins shower had one of those waterfall heads that dropped soft water. I opened the door and turned on the water as hot as it would go. A smile crept onto my face as I thought about how Hyunjin has screamed and called me his demon in the past whenever I got in first. But that smile soon disappeared as the thought connected me to everything from tonight, and it hit me again like a train. A scream was threatening to spill past my lips but instead only a choked sob came out. I let my legs give out as I sat and nothing could stop the onslaught of tears.
What was wrong with me? Was I not enough for him? Did he want something more than what I could give? I couldnât compete with those girls, who am I even kidding. Maybe it would be easier on everyone if he dated someone from the celebrity world. He shouldnât even be with someone like me. I should take some space from him.
The waves of thoughts were exhausting me more and more. I needed to get home. Sleep would bring clarity, surely it would.
When I stepped out of the bathroom, the steam shrouded around me. Looking up from the ground, I was met with the red and puffy eyes of Hyunjin. I nearly screamed, not expecting anyone home, and feeling all too vulnerable in only a towel.
âHe told me you left because of meâŚâ he started but trailed off when he had to wipe away a few stray tears. It took everything in me not to caress his pretty face.
He just nodded, and sat looking even more devastated. I couldnât handle it, I needed him to leave or I was going to lose my resolve. âPlease, can you get out? I need to get dressed.â
âSince when have you ever been shy about your body with me?â
âB-but Iâve literally painted your naked body before. Iâve stared at it for hours. Thirty seconds of changing is nothing compared to that.â
Iâm not sure why it upset me, but it did. âMmhm, and that was before I felt like I was competing with other women. Now I don't want you to see me naked.â
His eyes softened a bit but there were still more tears threatening to spill, and I absolutely hated how beautiful he looked with the added sparkle. âBaby⌠Is that what this is about? About Seoyun and Jiwoo?â So he knew them? I didnât know if that should have made it better or worse but I felt the familiar burn start in my chest. He shouldnât have left, I didn't want him to follow me. Seoyun and Jiwoo would make better company.
âHyun, please leave.â
âWhy are you being so difficult? Canât you see youâve upset me and I want to be alone?â
A small, exasperated giggle fell from his swollen lips. âI didnât upset you. You got jealous.â
I rolled my eyes extra hard at that. âI donât get jealous.â
âThen why did you leave the party so suddenly?â
âBecause I felt sick.â
âBecause you thought I was flirting back,â he said more as a statement rather than a question.
âNo because watching you with them made me realize how terrible we look together!â It exploded out of me before I even had the chance to think. I regretted it immediately.
âHyun no I donâtââ
âSweetheart. I said come here.â
He said it with such authority I felt like I had no choice but to listen. I let my legs carry me over to stand in front of him. But that wasnât enough for him, he wanted, needed me closer. His hands came to my back, and pushed me to sit on top of his lap, straddling him.
My eyes were closed, I knew I couldnât look at him. I felt his soft hands push a strand of my wet hair behind my ear and his hand lingered a bit longer, swiping at the remains of old tears.
âThere is only youâŚâ He whispered as his lips ghosted under my ears, âthere will only ever be you.â I hated how easy it was for him to affect me. The evidence of goosebumps spread across my arms gave him the push he needed to keep going. âLook at me, my love.â
And I listened again. I opened my eyes and stared into his. He was searching for something, but I didnât know what. I stayed quiet hoping he would continue so I didnât have to reply. I knew if I opened my mouth, I wouldnât be able to control what I said.
âWhen I have interactions with other women at parties like that, it means nothing to me. Truthfully it makes me quite annoyed but this is my life. I canât risk coming across as rude even if Iâm uncomfortable. I let them delve into their little fantasy because itâs easier. Seoyun and Jiwoo are the nieces of one of the big donors of JYP. My managers would have killed me if they said anything about bad manners.â
âIt's not fair⌠I donât want them to fantasize about you.â
A shit eating grin spread across his face when I said that. âYou do realize what our fans fantasize about right?â God, I really hated him sometimes. I lightly slapped his shoulder and tried to push away from him, but his arms wrapped around my waist and wouldnât let me move. I kept struggling to slip away and it was useless because his hold was concrete. âHey donât try to wiggle out of this!â He laughed and started kissing my neck. It instantly sent shockwaves through my body and my groans of displeasure turned into moans of contentment. I was embarrassed of how quickly the anger melted off of me.
The anger disappeared completely when I felt him harden in response to my moans.
âWhen I look at you love, I see art. Itâs why you're the subject of most of my paintings. No flowers, oceans, or fields of green could compare to you. Those girls are nothing more than a business transaction. You are my muse, not them. Thereâs no reason to be jealous because you donât belong in the same world as them.â
âAhâNo more, no more⌠I feel like Iâm going to explode from too many emotions.â
âThen is it okay with you if I show you how beautiful we look together?â
I couldnât do anything but nod my head weakly up and down. He moved me off his lap and walked over to his dresser before shoving it roughly in front of the bed. âBaby what are youââ I asked but I was met with a sly smile and a shushing sound, so I did nothing but sit there and watch as he moved his large full body mirror to lean on the dresser. Excited panic started to rush up my spine. Oh my god he wasnât going to. Was he?
My question was answered quickly when Hyunjin came behind me and sat on his knees with me in between them. If the fandom knew him from one thing, it would be his cocky confidence. The way he was able to turn anyone into putty in his hands was a divine gift. One that he used often against me. I couldnât help but blush as I realized what his intention was, so in order to take a chance to breathe I looked down and stared at the floor. But he wasnât having any of that, and his beautiful fingers clenched my jaw and forced me to look him in the eyes through the mirror. All too soon he removed his fingers carefully as if to gauge if Iâd try to look away. When he decided it was safe he pulled away fully and his fingers went to the buttons of his shirt.
When I thought earlier that Hyunjin shouldnât be with someone like me, this is exactly what I meant. He was too pretty for his own good. As if he was made to be looked at. And I couldnât look away. The way his brows scrunched in focus as he finished unbuttoning sent tingles to my thighs and I subconsciously pressed them together trying to ease the ache he was creating. After discarding the shirt on the floor he nimbly removed his pants, throwing them across the room.
âNow,â he started. âLook at how beautiful you are.â And he hovered over my hand that was desperately holding onto the towel. I gave in immediately and let him pull the towel down. We were both staring at each other through the glass. His eyes darkened and a hungry look took over his features. It was rare for Hyunjin to get this possessive, this dominant. Staring didnât last long, he was getting impatient I could tell by the way he subtly arched his hips into my back. Suddenly, he pushed me down so my face was pressed against the bed and my ass was up, all of my intimate parts on full display to him. No matter how many times he saw me naked, I couldnât help the blush that would paint my cheeks.
âIâm going to make you cum on my fingers, and youâre going to be a good princess and watch how pretty you are when you cum, okay love?â
âO-okay.â Was all I could stammer out before I saw him take the band around his wrist and throw his hair half up out of his eyes. Fuck, he was doing it on purpose. His eyes met mine again as he twirled a strand out of the pony tail and let it fall. He knew this hairstyle made me flustered. Whenever he did it at practice he would purposely send me a picture to tease me. And thatâs what he was doing right now. That cheeky grin was back, and a groan slipped past my lips.
âHyunnie, if youâre going to tease me all night, Iâm going to go back to being mad at you,â I said.
âOh? Is that soâŚâ He trailed off and I felt those godly fingers slip between my folds. âYouâre too wet to be mad at me sweetheart. You would dare leave.â
The feeling of his fingers dancing on me was making me dizzy and if I didnât get more soon I was going to pass out. I started grinding myself back onto him. Thankfully he finally listened and those sweet fingers pushed inside me. He was slow at first, taking his time as he eased a second finger in. I caught a glimpse of us in the mirror and moaned at the sight. Hyunjin had one hand placed on my ass, and the other pumping in and out of me at a fast pace. The way he stared, captivated by me sent another shock to my brain and I could feel my orgasm bubbling.
âFuck⌠God.. Ugh baby look at you. Iâm going to cum just from looking at you. You wanna cum baby? You wanna cum on my fingers?â
âYes, god please, please, please, yes.â
âGive it to me then baby. Cum for me.â
And as if his every word held some supernatural force over me I did. I screamed out his name as I came around those stupid fucking fingers.
âDid you see how pretty you looked, love?â
Oh fuck. âIâm sorry, it felt so good baby I closed my eyes.â
He tsked, and I felt him shed his underwear. âI guess I have to do it again then and make sure youâre watching huh?â This side of Hyunjin made me weak in every way. I felt drunk on the dominance he was feeding me. I loved taking the lead with him normally but I couldnât lie to myself. It felt insane to let him use me however he wanted.
Before I knew it, I could feel him plunge himself into me in one slick thrust. The remains of the previous orgasm made it too easy for him to slide in. He let out a breathy moan and I snapped my eyes to the mirror to watch him. The image was so lewd. Hyunjin had both hands on my hips as he set a quick pace. I stared in awe as I watched him fuck me. Both of our moans joined together. He was right, we did look beautiful together. I nearly came when I saw him let out a light laugh and swipe his tongue over his teeth as he let out a vulgar moan.
Watching him was bringing me closer and closer to another orgasm.
âMmm feel so good baby, Iâm not gonna last much longer if you keep clenching me like that.â He said breathlessly.
He was fucking me at a ruthless pace now, chasing his own high as he took quick deep thrusts. I couldnât take it anymore, it felt so good. I let my head rest on the bed and closed my eyes for only a moment.
âNuh uh, weâre not doing that again,â he said as he reached forward and pulled my hair back towards him. The pain forced another loud moan out of me and it only encouraged him to go harder. I could tell he was closer from the way his eyebrows knit together and his thrusts became sloppy and greedy. He looked completely fucked out.
âNeed you baby, need you to cum in me.â I managed to get out.
âOh fuckâŚâ and he fucked into me impossibly deeper. He still had a fist full of my hair forcing me to look in the mirror. I came instantly when I felt the warm jets of cum fill me, clenching around him in flutters.
He pulled me closer to his body and I felt the sticky sweat cling to my skin. His head was resting on my shoulder and I felt him watching me through the mirror, breathing heavily. I took a breath before I looked to meet his gaze.
âSee? Beautiful. We belong together. You fit me like a puzzle piece.â
I felt a pang of guilt wash over me and quickly slid off of him and turned to sit in his lap.
âIâm so sorry I was so cold to you. I just got so insecure.â
âItâs okay sweetheart. I understand completely. But no more being a brat to me over jealousy okay? Thatâs my thing.â I couldnât help but giggle at him. He was truly the best, and I couldnât have asked for a more caring boyfriend.
âYeah Iâll leave the dramatics and brattiness to you. I donât wanna feel jealous ever again.â
âReally? Not even after I fucked the jealousy out of you?â
âWhat! Itâs true.â He giggled. God I loved him. I never hated him. I pressed my lips to him and felt him melt into my touch.
âI love you.â I whispered.
âI love you too.â He replied.
His eyes looked at me so innocently and I felt that school girl crush creep up on me. What did I do to ever deserve him?
âHow did you evenââ
âI told you, you are my muse, love. I know you better than you know yourself. Come on, let's get you cleaned up and go cuddle. I expect two hours of back rubs as an apology for thinking Iâd ever choose anyone but you.â
And with that he stood and took my hand leading me back into the bathroom. A smile crept onto my face and I thought about how beautiful we looked together. I felt all of the worry melt off of me and something warmer, softer spread throughout my body.
