Just Some ISTP and MBTI Stuff

Female ISTP

[understandingtheistp]

Typical night of conversation with ENFP best friend

We were watching fireworks so yeah there’s that

ISTP: *arrives at ENFP’s house* I woke up 20 hours ago at 3 am and I’m feeling void in every sense of the word

ENFP: *finger guns* nice

———

ENFP: sometimes it feels like it’s a whole lot easier to talk to my chickens than other people

ISTP: do they respond?

ENFP: well they make noises when they run away from me so I guess

———

ISTP: you think a plane has ever been taken down by some fireworks?

ENFP: maybe. that’d be a pretty cool way to die though

ISTP: well then that’s how I want to die

———

ENFP: why are we as the human race so enthralled by explosions? what exactly is the appeal?

ISTP: explosions are a good way to kill and it’s in our nature to conquer all other people so that’s my guess. and they’re pretty to distract you from your horrible death

———

ENFP: *in chicken coop at night with no light* babies are you ok??? did the fireworks spook you? it’s all ok now guys it’s over. oh who’s this I’m holding? I’m not sure. oh wait never mind it’s Puddles. Puddles has the deep clucks

———

ISTP: I created a list of factors to consider when selecting a romantic partner

ENFP: oooh tell me

ISTP: first, how big is their bladder? do they feel the need to pee before going anywhere at all even if it’ll take a whole 10 minutes to do this thing then come back home? or can they actually hold it and only pee when necessary?

ENFP: hmm I guess that’s important

ISTP: second, what are their neuroticism levels? some neurotic people are good at hiding it when they have to so you might be jumping into something having no clue what you’re in for. but I have a solution so it’s ok. my mom is an extremely neurotic person and I just have to observe her triggers and then try similar things on the potential partner and study the scale of their reactions

ENFP: so... these people are just test subjects?

ISTP: yeah pretty much

ENFP: you’re a psychopath

———

ENFP: one time this guy asked me out but I turned him down because I didn’t feel the same and then I felt bad and so did he so he asked for a hug and I said sure and we hugged

ISTP: can’t relate

ENFP: to the hugging or being asked out?

ISTP: both. my life is sad and lonely

ENFP: my life isn’t lonely but it’s still sad

———

ISTP: let’s smear acrylic paint all over our clothes

ENFP: lit I have so much of that stuff

[understandingtheistp]

There’s a spider in the room

Traps it in a cup and puts it outside: ISFP, ISTJ, ENFJ, INFJ, ISFJ

Screeches hysterically: INFP, ESFP, ESFJ

Squashes it: ESTP, ESTJ, ENTP, ENTJ, INTJ

Looks at it then goes back to what they’re doing deciding they can coexist in peace as long as it doesn’t get too close: ISTP, INTP, ENFP

Bonus:

Kisses spider: my ENFP best friend

[understandingtheistp]

ISTP Confession #7

A daycare is the last place you’d expect my type to work but here I am with snotty children screeching at me everyday

[understandingtheistp]

MBTI Types as Cereals

ISTJ: Cheerios

ISFJ: Cookie Crisp

ESTJ: Kix

ESFJ: Fruity Pebbles

INTJ: Boo Berry

ENTJ: Cinnamon Toast Crunch

INTP: Cocoa Puffs

ENTP: Krave

ISTP: Cap’n Crunch

ISFP: Apple Jacks

ESTP: Frosted Flakes

ESFP: Trix

INFJ: Special K

ENFJ: Golden Grahams

INFP: Lucky Charms

ENFP: Froot Loops

Bonus: some shitty cereal pick-up lines my ENFP best friend and I made up

* I’m coo coo for your Cocoa Puffs

* Will you let me be the captain of your crunch?

* I live for your wholesome Raisin Bran goodness

* You make my apple jack

* I krave you

* My charms weren’t lucky til I met you

* You’re special, k?

* You are my Life

* I wouldn’t play any trix on you, girl

* You’re magically delicious

* You’re grrrrreat

And finally,

* I think about you cere-all time

[understandingtheistp]

My Very ISTP Things

Currently devising a plan to get onto the roof at school without getting arrested because I’m done and they can’t give me school-related punishments if I’m graduated

My friends think I’m insane for wanting to do this

[understandingtheistp]

I wish I knew where my mom’s taser was

Just curious

[understandingtheistp]

Update: my latin teachers are getting me onto the roof next week I’m very excited

[understandingtheistp]

My Very ISTP Things

Currently devising a plan to get onto the roof at school without getting arrested because I’m done and they can’t give me school-related punishments if I’m graduated

My friends think I’m insane for wanting to do this

[understandingtheistp]

I wish I knew where my mom’s taser was

Just curious

[understandingtheistp]

My Very ISTP Things

Currently devising a plan to get onto the roof at school without getting arrested because I’m done and they can’t give me school-related punishments if I’m graduated

My friends think I’m insane for wanting to do this

[understandingtheistp]

INTJ: Listen ESFJ you just have to turn off your feelings when the time comes

ISFP: ???

ESFJ: What the hell kind oF FUCKING PSYCOPATH ARE YOU

INFP: yeah what does that even mean how do you just turn off your feelings??

INTJ: you just have to suppress them

ESFJ: Uh... yeah we don’t know how to do that

ISTP: Hm what a shame for you guys then INTJ and I are living the good life

ISFP: ?????

ESFJ: YOU’RE A PSYCHOPATH TOO

[understandingtheistp]

ISTP Confession #6

People always think I’m either on drugs or a psychopath or both. I swear I’m not either. I am CLEAN and (somewhat) MENTALLY STABLE

[understandingtheistp]

The ENTXs in my classes are wild

ESFP: I texted ENTP one day telling her I was having a really bad day and the only thing she did was send me tik toks

ENTP: *snorts*

—————————

ESFJ: there’s this lady at my church who didn’t know she was pregnant so she was smoking and drinking a ton but eventually had a miscarriage

ENTJ: *cackles* some people are so dumb

[understandingtheistp]

Wants to fight you but is too afraid to: ESFP, ISTP, ISTJ

Wants to fight you and WILL fight you: ENTP, ENTJ, ESTJ, INTJ, ESTP

Doesn’t want to fight you but probably will end up fighting you anyways: INTP, INFP, ENFJ, ENFP

Doesn’t want to fight you and never would: ISFJ, ISFP, INFJ, ESFJ

[understandingtheistp]

ISTP, INFP, ISTJ Conversation

I really need a job because I’m super broke and a place I applied to called me but I thought it was a random number so I never answered and then the next morning I realized it was the place

Me, ISTP: Apparently the place I applied to called me yesterday

Mom, INFP: Really? Call them back!!

Me: *gets out phone* ok here we go

Me: ...

Me: This is scary I can’t do it

Mom: Here, let’s practice what to say *tells me exactly what to say*

Me: Ok... second try

Me: ...

Me: It’s still scary

Mom: You can do it, I believe in you

Dad, ISTJ: *walks in*

Mom: She’s having trouble calling a place back. Can you give her some encouragement?

Dad: *looks me dead in the eyes* If you don’t get a job you won’t even have a phone to call places on because you won’t have any money to afford it. We’re going to stop paying for it soon so you better call this place. *leaves*

Me: Wow he sucks at encouragement

Mom: Maybe no one ever encouraged him when he grew up

[understandingtheistp]

Judgers as Random Pictures on my Phone

I made one for Perceivers so now it’s time for the Judgers

ISTJ

ISFJ

ESTJ

ESFJ

INTJ

ENTJ

INFJ

ENFJ

[understandingtheistp]

ISTP: My parents think I need therapy

ISFP: Everyone needs therapy man

ISTP: I already have therapy

ISFP: Oh?

ISTP: Logic is my therapy.

INFP: No, ISTP...

[understandingtheistp]

So I have a class with only ExFxs...

There is a class I’ve had for almost two full years now that I spend three hours in everyday with the same ten people. 4 are ESFJs, 3 are ESFPs, 1 is an ENFJ, and 1 is an ENFP, and ok I lied there’s an ENTP too. But the point is I’m an ISTP surrounded by an overwhelming amount of feelings and socializing.

I don’t have anything against ExFxs, in fact my best friend is an ENFP and another one of my closest friends is an ESFJ. I don’t dislike any of these people either, but altogether it can be a bit much sometimes and it can get to be VERY petty, shallow, and dramatic.

This is all said in my class multiple times a day:

“Oh my gosh, look at those shoes! Cuuuuute!”

“I saw an old woman today and my heart is literally exploding.”

“GUESS WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY IT WAS CRAZY”

“I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve cried my way out of a speeding ticket.”

“She’s too pale to dye her hair that color she looks like a vampire.”

“I’m going on a date, what should I wear?”

“You can borrow ALL my clothes.”

“He’s cute and I know he likes me buttt his hair looks greasy.”

“No one talk to me right now I’m stressed.”

“Guys, I’m literally such a good friend.”

“Would this bulletin board look best with the black and white striped border or the red and white polka dot border?”

“I’m old enough to drink in Mexico and my parents don’t care like at all.”

“I want to get my nipples pierced.”

“For some reason she keeps asking me to hangout even though I don’t like her AT ALL. I said yes though.”

“Can you believe they’re dating!! They’re so cute!!”

“Can you believe they’re dating?? It won’t last...”

“Come to my soccer/lacrosse/softball/basketball/volleyball game guys!”

“Hold on we need to do a group picture. Right. Now.”

“I don’t care if it’s petty but we need a friendship break.”

“Why would someone even say that??? So rude!”

“Ew that outfit is hideous.”

“I love and appreciate all of you so so much we’ll be friends forever!!!”

“WILD party at my house!”

“We don’t like them. Don’t talk to them.”

“Did we have homework?”

“Shit I forgot to do the homework.”

“What page do we have to read to?”

“Guys I’m so confused what are we even doing in this class.”

“Ooh my Chipotle’s here!”

“Trust me this is the BEST class in the whole school you couldn’t be with any better people.”

“Ughhh I’m so hungover.”

“Don’t look at me I forgot to wear eyeliner.”

“She makes me REALLY angry.”

“Stop talking.”

“I spent the last of my money on a cute sweater worth it!!!”

“She’s so FAKE.”

“He thinks he’s better than us and I’m just sick of it.”

“Some people really just don’t know how to be socially graceful like ew.”

“Can we order pizza.”

“My mom really gets on my nerves.”

“I. Don’t. Like. You.”

“I think ISTP secretly hates us. She’s probably insulting us in her head right now.”

Every day.

Update: today ENFJ cut a $50 pair of jeans into knee-length shorts for the pure purpose of stupidity

[understandingtheistp]

Dinner conversation with my ISTJ dad

ISTJ: *sets down ravioli* What the heck are we listening to

ISTP: This is my “lez dahnce” playlist

ISTJ: What

ISTP: It has songs that make me wanna dance

ISTJ: Well how bout you make a “working on getting a job” playlist

ISTP: No that sounds stupid what would I even put on that

ISTJ: I don’t know figure it out while you figure out how to get a job

ISTP: ??? That makes no sense

———————————————————————————————————

ISTP: *puts down second serving of ravioli*

ISTJ: Why the hell did you take so much more? Is that all of the rest??

ISTP: Yeah I’m hungry

ISTJ: You’re not gonna be able to finish all that you’re just gonna whine about how full you are

ISTP: No I won’t

ISTJ: Yes you will

ISTP: No I won’t watch me *proceeds to continue to eat past the point of full to prove myself*

ISTP: SEE I DID IT

ISTJ: Was it worth it?

ISTP: No not at all

[understandingtheistp]

Hi. Umm. My best friend is an ISTP. We have the same functions but a different order and are immensely comfortable around each other. We also strengthen each other’s weak spots (Her Se helps me. My Fe helps her. We also help each other engage our tertiary functions). It’s a badass duo of silliness, authenticity and weird understanding. According to socionics we drive each other to “activity” which makes total sense. Do you have an INFJ in your life? And to any INFJs reading- you need an ISTP...

I think it’d be really cool to have an INFJ friend but I unfortunately don’t. But I do have a couple INFPs really close to me and I’d say we have a similar kind of relationship (we don’t share any functions but still) where we get along very well and have really good conversations and enjoy similar things. I’d say our auxiliary functions help us improve each other the most (Ne and Se) so yeah that’s cool. It’s always good to have these kinds of relationships.

And if there are any ISTP-less INFJs out there please adopt me