KIROKAZE
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Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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Sade Olutola
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cherry valley forever
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@undertheweepingwillowtrees
I'm Drowning
But no one is there to catch me......
The still dark warmth beckons me
Telling me to close my eyes
To not fight
To drift in its embrace
Sleep a peaceful night
Travel far beyond the mortal plane
Should I stay or should I go
The tug of war for my heart
Angel of life and death
Give me the strength to fight
For I can't drown
Not yet
Not tonight......
Crying
Eyes burning like the depth of hell
Barely catching my breath
Not knowing why I am crying
But it feels overdue
All alone
Like any other time in my life
Tears silent as to not disturb and be pestered with false worriers
My chest hurts
Feels like my heart is ready to give up
Maybe I should....
What if I disappeared from reality.... Would you even miss me?
The Lives That Matter
War not only across seas but also on the homeland.
War on sex, religion, and relationships.
Wars that sends us back through years of milestones we have reached.
Put down the guns that gives a false soothing of our fears.
Look to the person next to you, notice we are all made of flesh and bones.
Red is what pumps through our veins so why do we fight all of our like qualities and focus on the melanin one has in their skin?
We are not above one another, mom told me everyone is doing what they must to strive.
Jah blessed us with the breath of life to progress the world not to spill the blood of his children and try to justify the why.
Stop paying those appointed to protect when they kill that , that makes them a hit man than a protector of law.
No family must live in fear that their child will never make it home alive.
The trigger of the gun is not happy but rather the man behind the gun using it to fulfill his personal need.
In the animal kingdom it is killed or be killed we evolved above that.
Now it’s two steps forward and five steps back.
We are not the lambs to slaughter.
We pain like you.
Hear the mourning cry for our lost sons and daughters.
For those who ask why should I care because it could have been you or your loved one dead there.
Staining the ground red feeding: the earth, our madness, our disease called fear.
I say no more taking of the lives that matter.
No more weeping for the bright futures snuffed out too soon.
No more ...... please .... no more.
Just feel like sobbing uncontrollably till no sounds come out and I feel like I'm breaking from the inside out
Static brain
This isn’t some dear diary bullshit its just thoughts I want to write down real quick
What do they see when looking at me?
What do they say when talking about me?
How will they remember me?
21 years old … failed out of college
Sits on her ass all day playing video games from sun up to sun down
Only taking a break to defecate or stuff her face
A fat pig, got the body for it
Plump and round perfect for the slaughter house
She is the eldest but surely the dumbest
Both younger siblings were smart to get away before it’s too late
To pursue their dreams while mine fade away
Mommy’s perfect little trophies that she can parade about
To show off like she is competing in a dog show
She never did that for me … but maybe there is a reason
So, I can serve her and know my place only as support
Never in the spotlight unless I throw a fit
Even then it’s a pity party and that’s it
Just to keep me content and happy enough to do my job
That’s right I’m a slob with a job
My income is a kind word or two and maybe some food
I know it sounds like my life is fucked up
But honestly it just gets rough
It could have been way worse….
So why complain……
Complain for change…
Even though it will stay the same……
My Life As A Playlist (Part 1)
“We are the world 25 for Haiti “ – Originally by Michael Jackson This song I wish can be our graduation song instead of “Hail to our colors”. This song helps me when I was down for the count and fighting the good fight. On days where I called myself a waste of space this song brought me up to say “No, you’re not. You are the future of this great nation and you will make a difference in the world. Keep your head up and prove everyone that ever doubts you wrong.” You can say this song can be my ride or die pal. Until I make a difference in this world and put my mark as a women of change.
“Get up Stand up “- Bob Marley Growing up I was a very shy girl. I never stood up for myself and spoke my mind. I was raised to only talk when being talked to and don’t cause trouble. This got to the point where even when I spoke out it was if I was surrounded by sound proof glass and no one could hear me. I could say anything but I was ant in the field of giants. It was the words to this song where I found my voice it broke my silence. Now no one can stifle me.
“I’ll be missing you”- Puff Daddy, ft. 112 & Faith Evans This song will keep the memory of my grandfather and my uncle that passed away suddenly. Not a day goes by where I don’t think of them and this song expresses my true feelings that I didn’t show around my family. They were such a big part of my life that now it feels like there is a gaping hole.
“One more road to cross”- Dmx This song is my whole senior year in one experience. It’s what kept me from giving up and just dropping out of school.Instead of thinking of it being only a few weeks left I always took it as one day. one more challenge and one more success story. Life seems like a game were the wrong move can end the game forever.
The Death Row Generation
It’s the year of 2016, we should be riding hover boards and talking to each other via holograms but instead we just have a shameful generation of people, a racist billionaire that is our president or dictator by the way he is talking, and how to videos of just about everything (thank you back to the future for getting my hopes up that the world would actually get better). Throughout time we all experienced that one group of individuals we wish to eradicate from existence without fearing consequences. Before I continue with my plan no I am not supporting a “purge” of some sort, it’s way too messy and honestly a waste of time to hold a grudge for 364 days until you can ax the person. My easy answer is the use of shock collars one that if a situation gets serious enough can kill. That is right I believe this will solve everyone’s problem in the world we will have a utopia of perfect model citizens. No wars, drugs, racism, sexism, poverty, NO ANYTHING. Everyone will get a fair chance in life they will all have equality over everything and no one will go without. It is said on peacealliance.com “it is estimated that violence containment spending costs $7,000 for every man, woman and child each year. That is $6 billion a day in total, or $246 million an hour.” It cost more to contain violence than it would just to kill off anyone who commits a violent crime. We have reach over 25,000 deaths in drug overdoses in 2014 alone imagine the rates for 2016. It doesn’t have to be this way not now and not ever in the future. Another added bonus to this is the jobs that it would create, it would be a massive help in boosting the economy what with the demand of labor to search, retrieve, and dispose of all the bodies that will be dropping left and right like flies. Sure the population may plummet slightly but with teen pregnancy being all the rage now I’m sure we can make back up the population plus “interest”. Abstinence is a dead practice anyway so might as well give the ok to kids and say have a baby you will be doing your country a great service to close the gap between deaths and births so it doesn't look like we are on a genocidal rampage. We are nothing like Hitler he killed most of the Jewish community to give Germans a scapegoat to all their suffering. We only want to make the world a more happy and safer world. My proposal is best quoted as “you have to crack a few eggs first in order to make an omelet”, and those lucky few who are sacrificed will bring forth a dawning of a new age.
Why I Cry
You ask why I cry. What’s the reason? This question is rhetorical, sarcastic, and cruel to me. You know the reason, yet you don’t help. You don’t care so why ask. You ask to fill a void and you’re wrong for doing so. I cry for the child who is stronger than any man. I cry for mother earth, which gives and never receives. I cry for those who face the world alone. I cry for all that speak, but aren’t heard. I cry for the beautiful world being destroyed. Look at the world through my eyes; you will see what I see. Then you will cry because you now know. What I go through and what happens around me. Until you do so … Don’t ask me why I cry. Only if you truly want to know will I tell you.
You ever feel like your perfect world is all too perfect? Everything is going too well and you are waiting for it to end. You see the signs and ignore them, see the curtains closing and yet you still perform on. You just wait there stuck instead of changing something ... trying to save it! And when it all goes to shit you cry your tears and lie to yourself saying "I knew it would happen..... only was a matter of time....." bullshit. IT'S ALL BULLSHIT!!!! you wanted to change it so what stopped you huh!?! Too scared? Didn't want to!?!?!.... or maybe ... just maybe ... you wanted this.... to validate that life is shitty... that it's a never ending battle of self worth that no one can fill..... not even you. It puts you in your darkest hour .... but then you get back up and just smile to the world again..... and repeat the cycle.
The transition
So going into 2017 I felt like absolute shit I but it was at my darkest moment I asked myself why?........ why are you going to feel this way ? Why bring the sadness into a new year ?..... So I did what any sane person would have done and cut off all of the bad. Like a tree with rot I cut off the bad parts before it consumed me whole. I can't say I got rid of all the sadness but I took the first steps needed to do so.