In the mind of a pretty weird girl

Quirky nerd, socially anxious and awkard. I do all kinds of shit. Expect many cats. Things get crazy around here. You have been warned.

[atheistj]

Incorrect Star Wars quotes

[expositionfairy]

Morning on Mars

6 Martian sunrises, as seen by the HiRISE orbiter.  Once again, not artist’s renditions.

[gregmelander]

NOT ARTIST’S RENDITIONS

[kittykat8311]

Oh my

[mjalti]

why come they called him “beast” in the castle when everyone knew his name cuz they’d been working for him forever anyway? like …. i would just be like “hey chewbacca-Adam” or some shit, there’s no reason to call him beast … id hide in my room all day too if my employees started making fun of me..

[teaboot]

If my manager decided to pull some rude ass shit with a witch and got me living the next ten years of my life as an immortal singing toaster oven you can bet your ass I’d wake him up every goddamn morning with a flaming panini directly to the face. rise and shine, you ugly fuck, time hear a song

[teaboot]

I call this one, “ode to an inconsiderate pissbaby” and the first 9 verses are just me screaming at various decibels

[littlemissonewhoisall]

My ideal beginning to a Batman movie:

We start with a slow pan down to Gotham as Oracle narrates

“Ask your average person who Gotham’s most famous citizen is, and you’ll get the same response every time: Bruce Wayne. Everybody’s heard of Bruce Wayne. You’ve probably heard his name a million times before. But there are some things that the average citizen doesn’t know about him. See, to the people of Gotham, Bruce Wayne is a rich kid who never grew up. They think he’s a buffoon, an airhead, a moron. But the truth is…”

*Batman bursts out of a window, screaming, on fire*

*record scratch, freeze frame*

“…they aren’t entirely wrong about that.”

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

EHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE

[experimental-sponge]

This is then followed by a series of clips from interviews with various Gotham citizens, all of whom give humorously ironic descriptions of Bruce Wayne’s idiocy:

“Bruce Wayne? I hear the guy gets through a super-car every month! Replaces every one, just like that!”

*Cut to shot of the Batmobile flipping end-over-end after slamming into one of Bane’s APCs*

[littlemissonewhoisall]

“Wayne? Please! The guy would probably have accidentally killed himself years ago if he didn’t have that butler to babysit him!” *Cut to Alfred physically restraining Bruce from going out to fight Scarecrow while having a broken arm, a concussion, and the flu,*

“I bet he throws away cash like it grows on trees!”

*Cut to Batman shouting “Hey, Lucius! Ask R&D to make some kryptonite/Nth metal alloy baterangs! Y’know, just in case!”

“I’m almost jealous. Super rich and he gets to hang out with gorgeous women across the world? Sign me up!”

*Cut to Bruce being slammed face first into a wall repeatedly by Lady Shiva.*

[johnnyrico]

@smut-smut-in-the-butt this seems like something you’d be interested in

[smut-smut-in-the-butt]

This is the Batman I long for.

[ooksaidthelibrarian]

@hill-creature

[weloveshortvideos]

Using mamma’s ear as a blanket

[sexwitsockson]

:’(((((((((((((((((

[gochellzgo-deactivated20170221]

She looks so tired and done with this squirmy little poop

[weloveshortvideos]

[unclefather]

New pants

[kettlebellerboy]

Poor guy!!

[awwww-cute]

My cats kittens have found a new cozy bed.. In a cup holder

[goboiano]

Blastoise: Look, son. Everything the light touches is our kingdom.

[french-boat-deactivated20181217]

me: *to my grandchildren* this roomba is a priceless artifact of our family. our heirloomba.

[french-boat-deactivated20181217]

people unfollowed me because of this post

[joshpeck]

good

[lesbianfreyja]

the phrase “curiosity killed the cat” is actually not the full phrase it actually is “curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back” so don’t let anyone tell you not to be a curious little baby okay go and be interested in the world uwu

[violet-nomad-deactivated2018120]

See also:

Blood is thicker than water The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.

Meaning that relationships formed by choice are stronger than those formed by birth.

[espurr-roba]

Let’s not forget that “Jack of all trades, master of none” ends with “But better than a master of one.”

It means that being equally good/average at everything is much better than being perfect at one thing and sucking at everything else. So don’t worry if you’re not perfect at something you do! Being okay is better!

[theshantiestme11ophone]

These made me feel better

[thelifeofatubaplayer]

Also, “great minds think alike” ends with “but fools rarely differ”

It goes to show that conformity isn’t always a good thing. And that just because more than one person has the same idea, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a good idea.

[eattheacid]

what the fuck why haven’t i heard the full version to any of these 

[terror-billie]

“Birds of a feather flock together” ends with “until the cat comes.”

It’s actually a warning about fair-weather friends, not an assessment of how complementary people are.

[engel-tier-deactivated20180213]

I’ve always felt like these were cut down on purpose.

[washington-acp]

I really like these phrases and plan on spreading this knowledge.

[alwayswillgraham]

The early bird catches the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

[its-kks-world]

I want to make designs out of these.

[sunderlorn]

Funny how all the half-finished ones encourage uniformity and upholding the status-quo, while the complete proverbs encourage like…living exciting, eclectic lives driven by choice and personal passion.

[howyougetthefangirl-deactivated]

I walked to a deli and got a sandwich to go and a coffee and while I was waiting these two teenage girls ran up and were like OH MY GOD JESSICA HOW ARE YOU and then hugged me and the one whispered “that guy was following you and taking pictures of you” and then they walked home with me and that one guy stopped following me and hONESTLY THIS IS WHAT I AM HERE FOR

[seals-need-love-to-live]

Y'all I was at the river just hanging with my friend and these two high school girls run up to us and say “Can you pretend to be our friends? Cause this guy has been following us,” and we sat with them and they called their parents to pick them up and I really want to share that story cause it’s SO SMART and when you’re in crisis your mind can just blank in panic so I want everyone to have that story in the back of their heads. NEVER be afraid to ask strangers for protection!

[starlabsforever-blog]

Once in like ninth grade, I was at Starbucks by myself doing homework and this weirdo came and sat at my table and was telling me how he was a photographer and how he was “scouting” for models and he really liked my “look” and he was trying to ask my name and how old I was and I was panicking bc I didn’t know what to do Then this middle aged woman came up to us and was like “EMILY there you are sweetie I was looking for you it’s time to go home!” and the guy left really awkwardly and then she told me that she had a daughter my age and asked if I told him my name and I said no and she told me to be safe Keep an eye out. Protect each other

[wholeasscoyote]

why do men have to be so goddamn creepy like shit dude

[s-martblr]

FOREVER REBLOG

[introvertdear]

The Secret Lives of Introverts is here! 🙌

Get Your Copy

[crossbeams]

[thecornfedmusclepup-deactivated]

@me

[loblawdogblog]

[tastefullyoffensive]

(via _illdill_)

[omgintrovert]

Guilty as charged!

[unclefather]

[jaythenerdkid]

I have lost count of how many times I have reblogged this

I don’t care