What Bemani artist should YOU fight
(based off this post please read it first)
there are a lot of bemani artists out there, and they all need to get pummeled. here’s the chances that you’ll come out on top in no particular order.
dj taka Who wins: dj taka Look, there is a -100% chance that Taka lands a KO, but that’s because he doesn’t need to. you come in spoiling for a fight and by the end of it you’re seriously debating whether Absolute can even be considered a trance song. It makes you want to fight him more and then you just get deeper into the spiral. don’t bother.
Ryu* Who wins: Ryu* Sorry, but his name literally means ‘burly dragon son.’ you’re not going to win this one.
DJ Yoshitaka Who wins: You Ok actually I don’t know who wins here but Yoshitaka needs to be beaten up so badly. Please punch him. I’ll help.
Des-ROW Who wins: Des-ROW I get why you want to fight him. I want to fight him. Everyone wants to fight him. don’t do it tho. His entire Bemani career is a series of him asking people to fight him and he's still been on staff for fifteen years. Don’t do it.
L.E.D Who wins: L.E.D Jesus don’t fight L.E.D. dude does NOT care. your punches will be like water off a ducks back.
Asaki Who wins: Nobody I forget the argument I was about to make because I just looked him up and he looks like an emo visual kei fanboy.
you'll win this one but why do you want to fight a visual kei fanboy. Avoid.
U1 Who wins: You sidenote: is there a single picture where U1 doesn't look punchable?
honestly. anyway, look at the guy, he's like 20 pounds. punch him.
TaQ Who wins: TaQ “Innocent Walls was largely composed while TaQ was recuperating in a hospital. [Its] charts were written by TaQ himself. Retroactively, Innocent Walls is the first song to have a Level 12 Single HYPER chart.” HE GOT ILL AND WROTE THE FIRST HYPER 12 WHILE IN A HOSPITAL. AVOID.
Tomosuke Who wins: ??? I honestly don't know but ughhhhhhh he's so smuuuuuuug. Do it. Beat up Tomosuke.
TAG Who wins: You Like, the entire Try to Sing collection. There is no way you could lose this fight. Go for it.
wac Who wins: You But you won’t feel good about it. All this scrawny man wants to do is hang out in a fursuit and maybe fail his own songs if its a wild day. Don’t fight Wac. Akira Yamaoka Who wins: Akira Yamaoka Guy made music for horror games. He like, did Silent Hill. Don't fight Akira Yamaoka.
kors k Who wins: You Use his headphones as a pulley and kick him in the chest. When you knock him out whisper ‘1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, do it’, and laugh. Naoki Maeda Who wins: You Naoki is the proto disillusioned Konami retiree who corners you and insists on going on and on about eurobeat. You could take him easy. Fight Naoki Maeda.
PON Who wins: PON "To this city we loathe, strike a punishment brimming with anger"?? This man is DYING to punch somebody. Don't do it.
