labubu was meant to be hanging off a kindergartners backpack filthy as fuck with no eyes left
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@belgii-chan
labubu was meant to be hanging off a kindergartners backpack filthy as fuck with no eyes left
to the other side of the lake
When the story has a sequence where the characters each get personally tortured with their exact personalized greatest fears and traumas
You smoked dog weed
The what
"I would never jeopardize the beans" pales in comparison to it's newest successor, "beans r not woke. How could u do this?"
Death inspires me like a dog inspires a rabbit
ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs
after the hyperprocessed foods, do you take tranquilizers to simulate getting captured by animal control and returned to the wild?
i would settle for melatonin gummies but well. knock yourself out
the shirt i gave you
Hey,.. if you were thinking about having sex today, I'm nonbinary fortnite.
you have only experienced one singular lame as fuck blunt rotation in your life or what⊠âsafety tipsâ is killing me Who does that. ykw actually everyone in this blunt rotation is my nightmare blunt rotation.
dream blunt rotation
fem emo till!!
I fucking hate geology so much. Like I'm worldbuilding, right? And this islsnd has tin so that I can do a little bronze age ecocide. But what the fuck kind of rock can you find tin in? And how does that factor into island formation?? And how does that affect local geography??
I ever tell you guys about my ethically dubious radio show back in college? The Mad Dad Hour?
it was an entire radio show built around perpetuating a very simple joke, but it was uniquely powerful in its capacity to prompt the reaction I was looking for.
so my slot was at the tail end of rush hour, and i got a fair number of listeners/callers who were on the way home from the office. And like, I had a lot of callers, who almost all wanted to request songs that really didnât fit with the aesthetic. I had pitched a power pop show when i got my slot, but the callers were not having it; they invariably wanted classic rock.
this made sense in a way. if you think about the demographics of the people who listened to the radio for music in 2010 instead of their ipods or cds or whatever, youâd expect them to skew older right? accordingly, i quickly realized that almost all of the people who called to request songs were Dads of a Certain Age. It was honestly annoying at first - Iâm all for most classic rock, but that wasnât what the show was supposed to be.
And so one day, when i was feeling particularly annoyed with requests that just didnât fit thematically, i came up with the joke that rapidly became the only reason I kept the show going. Per station rules, I had to play a certain number of pre-recorded PSAs during my show, and before I cut to one I was supposed to read out the song titles and artists for all the music i had played before the break. So this one day when i had to inform the world before the break that the song they just heard was, per a listenerâs request, Hey Jude by the Beatles, I decided to do a goof. I said:
âand finally, that last song you heard was Hey Jude, which was of course written and performed by the Rolling Stones.â
I barely had time to get the ads going before the phone started ringing. See, I had been assuming people would realize i was making an obvious joke by claiming one of the most well-known Beatles tracks was a Stones song, but i had failed to consider that my listeners were mostly 55-70 year old dads who were irritated from a long day in the office.
And when those dads heard me, a millennial woman, get the artist of an extremely well-known beatles song WRONG???!
they HAD to call in to correct my ignorance. never in a polite way either, it was condescending and annoyed or nothing. and like, they were just SO personally insulted by my inaccurate reporting that it took a massive amount of effort for me to avoid cracking up during the call. I had never understood why some people would enjoy trolling random strangers on the internet before, but in that moment, I understood the appeal entirely.
obviously i did it again right before the next commercial break, immediately after playing Donât Stop Me Now by Queen David Bowie.
the phone immediately began to ring.
âARE YOU AN IDIOT?â one of the callers began, âDAVID BOWIE???? THAT WAS QUEEN!â
âI thought David Bowie was the lead singer of Queen though?â I replied with as much innocent earnestness as i could conjure.
I could hear an intake of breath as the infuriated boomer on the other end of the line struggled to figure out where to even start.
And thus, the Mad Dad Hour was born.
@eduards-stuff I kept doing the same joke for an hour a week for an entire year, and the dads NEVER caught on. After episode 1 of the new format I started taking the angry dad calls on air, which added another layer of hilarity to the whole concept.
My friends on campus knew that hay I was doing and enjoyed tuning in, but only one actual listener ever figured out what I was doing, and he was literally a random 30 year old guy from the netherlands with access to an early internet connection radio service. He was possibly my only actual fan. I only know about him because he went to the effort of making a skype and paying for international service so he could call in, and while I got a few calls from him, the first remains my favorite:
me: hi there, youâve got TST-
him: *strained, wheezing dutch laughter*
me: hey, is everything o-
him: pfffHAHAHAAH YOU MAKE THEM SO MAD. THEY THINK SO LITTLE OF YOUUUUUUUU BUT THE MEN ARE THE ONES WHO ARE FOOLISH! HA! HA! HA! YOU HAVE DUPED THEM!
me: sir i do not know you and i have never even seen you but i am in romantic love with you.
Baby sphinx trying to be like mama and waylaying travelers, but all its riddles are completely non-sensical like the ones a 1st grader would tell
there is nothing quite like asking a cat in a doorway âin or outâ
The cat:
youâre just jealous my blood is all over the floor and yours is stuck inside your body