I will remain unwritten!

I am an awful nerd, and I'm okay with that

[awharrys]

merry christmas

[drizzyverified-blog]

it’s november 1st

[awharrys]

[catasters]

[hclark70]

*slaps*

[memewhore]

[memewhore]

[thenatsdorf]

Neighbors are fighting. (via)

[blynxee]

I wanted to immortalize the best moment in gravity falls on my blog

[paxamericana]

[mysharona1987]

[mysharona1987]

[kvothedean]

I love the implication that Macaulay kulkin has done both, just not in the same week

[weevildead]

i eat 15 apples for breakfast then drive myself to the hospital just to watch the doctors get blasted backward into the drywall bc they cant withstand my aura

[matthewjohnsons]

spotify wrapped but it’s your bank showing you your 100 worst purchases of the year

[biocha-deactivated20230307]

i humbly request a visual

[aconissa]

bank says worst purchase but my heart says best

[home-and-having-tea]

Unrelated question, please tell me where I can get one

[rocktheholygrail]

[silver-tongues-blog]

the apocalypses this year

January:

February:

march: 

April:

[what-a-silver-lining]

wait what’s happening with April?

[strayvariable]

@what-a-silver-lining​ This is what’s happening with April

[what-a-silver-lining]

Holy cow! This year is really trying to outdo itself every month.

[silver-tongues-blog]

its like an advent calendar but instead of candy its apocalypse

[whitepeopletwitter]

[thomrainierskies]

i took a philosophy class my first year at community college, and it was the funnest shit ever - prof gave us a powerpoint and told us to fight with him when we disagreed so we could have discussions, then gave us his steam username so we could play racing games together. one time, he told us this story about a prof he had in grad school - guy was tenured, and apparently a great teacher. but he had this time built into his schedule where other profs would be in labs, experimenting, doing research, where he stood in his empty classroom with a warm cup of tea and stared out the window. for these 1.5 hour schedule blocks. and the administration would come to him and be like “dude, we’re not paying you to stare out the window, why aren’t you working?” and he’d say, “i am working. i’m a philosopher, it’s my job to contemplate the world and life and that’s what I’m doing,” and they couldn’t do shit cause he was tenured. and then every handful of years he’d pop out a book that blew everybody’s tits off and they’d get a surge of new philosophy grads come to study with him and make the school a lot of money.

So yeah, i think that’s still what being a philosopher is like

[one-time-i-dreamt]

not a dream

My dad’s a criminologist, but when I was little, I didn’t know how to pronounce that word properly, so I told my kindergarten teacher, among other people, that he’s a criminal instead. Yesterday, I was talking to a dude I met at the dog park (our dogs play with each other a lot), and idk how we even got to that, but he told me a story how when he was like 8, he walked his family dog alone and someone in the park asked him where his dad was, to which he replied, “In jail,” and that person got extremely flustered and changed the topic. Turns out, his dad works in prison, but the person misunderstood and thought he was jailed instead. Kids, man.

[redrosella]

My dad works as a pharmaceutical manager, but as a kid I could never remember that. So at school once I told my school counselor that he sold drugs. And then to make matters worse, I realized what I said, so I tried to clarifying it by saying either “legal drugs” or “not illegal drugs” but I accidentally smashed them together and said “illegal drugs”.

[insert-creativity-here]

My mom works as a probation officer but has to go into courts/prisons often. One day in pre-k my teacher asked where my mom was and i said “in court”. The next day she asked if my mom was home and i said “no she’s in jail”.

[juanin-pro]

[kpfun]

Bonus: