I spend lots of my time defending women, and hating men;
I am incredibly respectful of all the women I've come across, and the reason is simple: I don't wanna end up like my dad (three divorces).
My dads divorces are directly correlated with his lack of respect for women, and this is something he's actually admitted! He's like, "You know what my problem is? I don't respect women."
This was ever so apparent to me as we shared a beer at the local pub one day - one of the cute blonde bar tenders struck up a conversation with me, and by the end of it my dad was like, "You know what the difference between you and I is? If I were you, I'd be boning that girl by the end of the night.."
This is a huge difference between us, because like the fear of God - I respect women, precisely after seeing what he's gone through. I'm like, well gee dad - you've had half your shit taken from you three times! You'd think or at the very least hope I learned a lesson from this!
I try to not take anything, from women. This means no sex, and seldom a relationship. This is hard for me, because I'm WAY too smart to be doing what I've been doing, and I've been left with very few options as far as a path for correction is concerned. I'm wild, and I really try to respect women by sparing them from my tendencies - tendencies which vastly consist of me losing interest incredibly fast.
Anyway, girls too, are capable of abuse.
Its funny, because I defend girls - this whole notion of "free love" - this idea that somehow, "love" is free when in fact, its the girl who doesn't have an orgasm, and risks getting pregnant. That kind of "love" isn't free, for girls.
This is interesting, because when evaluating the duality of processes - as men abuse with their physicality, women abuse with sexuality. Sex is a woman's power.
I've received so many emotional black eyes, and holes in my heart from an abuse of sexuality, that its really scary to be honest. I try to step in, I see what happens; like Mayweather's defensive skills with boxing, I stay back, I watch, and I see what happens. I've been dodging shots for years, now.
Its never pretty, and I don't necessarily attribute this to the girl's character considering how young we all are, and it too is true that I have a different standard for how I'm treated, after witnessing my parents fairly abusive (emotionally/finacially/etc) relationship.
As I've watched some get it together later on, and actually verbally express remorse for what they put me through - I too, am far from perfect. I hurt my ex pretty bad during our trial stages of friendship, being a total ass. I still feel bad about it. I didn't fuck her, but you know what? I said some things that were not warranted by our friendship. I miss her, so I lose too.
We're not going to talk about me, however.
I'm talking from the point of view, which indeed - is UNIQUE. Its unique in the sense that, I am going to do everything in my power to harvest a good relationship so I don't end up like my folks, and I will stay single until the end of time, to get there.
Heres the thing: guys are predominantly abusive, and its not fair. I always point this out, and I have the best track record for respecting women out of what I'd suggest to be the vast majority of my peers. Yet, it should be mentioned that some of us guys are completely unarmed, and yes I would like to tout myself as one of them. As someone who's never once asked for sex, even from his own girlfriend, horny as shit - as someone who has only engaged casual sex, once - as someone who quite honestly? Has broken some hearts, and to be perfectly honest yielded a 90% desired return policy warranted by those I've been with? I'm an AWESOME boyfriend. I always bend over backwards; I never cheat, never raise my voice, do everything I can, and work as hard as I'm at capacity to do so.
With that said: I see the way young girls act, and what they do to guys, and perhaps they're only doing what they've been groomed for considering how poorly some guys treat girls - I'm not one of them - I stand back, and I just watch. You know what I see? Girls fuck guys, then go fuck their friends. Shame on men, too! Not very good friends, and unfortunately - the dynamic is indeed, by and large unfair when you take into consideration that guys fuck anything that moves; it should also be mentioned, that this is exactly how women become objectified. So its not good for girls to do this, because honestly? Okay, I've been in the relationship with a girl who boned one of my best friends (I found out about it after us hooking up) - then of course my roommate, then my other best friend after we split - this shit SUCKS.
It sucks, because when girls do that to me? I'm just like, well, what the fuck am I supposed to do? There's nothing I can do, because I've always felt morally obliged to be sparing with my sexuality, and its not like I'm ever going to hit anyone; shit, I don't even yell about it, and you know what else? Most of the time I've been open arms in forgiveness (which is sick). Perhaps girls do this to most guys, and perhaps most guys deserve it - I however, never do. I don't. I try to be specific with girls, and I explain my predispositions and a need for good stability - you can't DO that kind of shit to guys like me, because when you do? Whether you know it or not, if we're the kind of guys that go out of our way to overt all stereotypes perpetuated by the male population - men who strive to be good, virtuous, and morally upheld in the highest regard? Its like you're smacking us in the face, with a shovel.
Its SO mean. It really is, and perhaps girls think its harmless because they've vastly been the victims of most guys, but some of us? You know, if you were to engage these practices on a grander scale - lets take race for example - you may as well be judging every black person (man) as being a criminal (pig) the same way a racist would.
Not all guys are pigs! They're not! I AM NOT a pig.
I'm so awesome with girls, and I get SO hurt, so easily, and in the same breath perhaps I need to understand that my pain is perhaps the result of men who don't hold themselves to the same standard - and spin this cycle of what I certainly label, abuse.
It is abusive, to tell guys you love them, then go fuck other people the guy knows. You may not think its fair, but I'm simply telling you from the perspective I've had - mind you, this perspective has been formed and evolved from girls I've never even touched, and been completely destroyed by (those Floyd Mayweather defensive skills)
When I first entered the rave scene in Seattle, I was quite honestly boggled by how callous it was, and how cut throat people were about dating. Perhaps this is just a part of adulthood, yet I'm here to tell you - there is another aspect of adulthood over the horizon, requiring an entirely different approach once children are involved. You can't raise families, get divorced, then go bone your kid's best friend's mom or dad. Thats not how it works!
Sure, maybe thats how it works with some families, but you know what? Those people SUCK. There is a different precedent to be set, as I'm sure many have already kind of figured out - dating people who used to date your best friends, sucks. I don't really see it working in anyone's favor thus far.
Its just some food for thought. Because I think about things, and I'm like, I need to be more specific with people! I need to be more verbal, and I need to let people know that its not okay! It isn't. You're not supposed to hurt people like me, because people like me? In the big bad world of competitive dating? Okay, so love for a once incredibly shy-borderline aspie kind of dude? Like, the kind of guy who watches economic speeches all by himself, in his room all day? That kind of guy? Love is a BIG deal to us. Its a huge thing. It rarely happens, and fortunately I'm attractive enough that enough girls continually try and bypass my fortress of awe inspiring defensive dating skills (I'm hella good - people would be surprised).
Its NOT okay, to use/abuse guys with sex, money, or anything of the sort. I wouldn't necessarily say its as wrong for men to abuse women; in fact thats not what I'm saying at all. What I am saying, is that some of you girls?
I'm sure its all apart of "growing pains" and "growing up" but its like, dude, especially when speaking on behalf of us who're overly nice and very fresh to the idea of dating? Us guys? Like, you can be like, "Oh, well I was a young chick.. I'm sorry" Yet, do you see anyone out there saying, "Oh, I'm sorry I punched that kid in the face. That was mean." Its like, no dude, if you punch some kid in the face? Sorry? Go fuck yourselves.
Because thats what I often feel like. A kid. I really do. As I try and
navigate what dating entails, and try to decipher serial daters from people who actually genuinely care about the people they're allegedly in love with? I don't understand. I don't. When shit blows up in my face the way it does, I'm like, what the fuck? Why did this happen to me? Better question: what WOULD have happened had I not such excellent defense (mad skills yo!)? Three divorces? STD's? Lost friendships? All three?
Long short of it is, both sexes have a responsibility to be good to one another if they ever want a relationship to last, or any type of mutual respect.