Uh oh you found me

there is no relationship more special than a mother and her lizard

[barstoolblues]

mozzarella and parmesan is kind of like the age gap yuri of cheese

[certainly-april]

Ragebaiting my fat dog? More like master baiting my fat hog!!!!!!!!

[grimoiremanifest]

❗️Great Hog is displeased by this.

The kingly pig looks taken aback by this statement. "You claim to be 'baiting' our kind?.. A master of it, no less - after all the trust we hsve placed in you?"

- Your relationship with the Hog Society 🐖 is now Unfavourable.

[certainly-april]

[wifegideonnav]

“bits to use in everyday conversations”

[botanyshitposts]

love when dogs come back to you with seeds stuck to them. lmao get used as dispersal idiot. that’s just what you get for snuffling the grasses

[beaft]

google help me

[beaft]

the thing is, stephen king is generally pretty good at creating complex, well-rounded characters, which makes it all the more jarring when one of those characters abruptly comes out with what i'll term a "kingism". i don't know how best to define a kingism other than "you'll know it when you see it". it's the voice of the author intruding on the voice of the character, and in this case the voice of the author has a bad sense of humour and is ravenously, inexplicably horny

[beaft]

random example of a kingism aka "he would not fucking say that"

[beaft]

this too is a kingism

[beaft]

one of the hallmarks of a kingism is that when a character is being Horny On Main (or In Maine), they can never do it in a normal way. they have to come up with a sequence of words that nobody has ever said before in the history of the english language. here's another example:

[beaft]

i'm starting a collection

[mikkeneko]

[teathattast]

[thestorieswesay]

god it's all so true

[bedupolker]

It feels cool to be "in" on celebrity gossip before anyone else. I ran into Californian Condor V9 and looked her up on the condor lookup website. It says her current mate is dead and she has no kids but I saw her with a new man AND a juvenile.

[noisepuppy]

I asked if this was an art installation and a Danish person said "no this is quite a serious impedance"

[carolsturka]

[ooppo]

At this point it's more disappointing than shocking that not a single assassin in the states can aim a fucking gun

[ooppo]

Not fucking really

[pussyluvr2000]

Every job application in 2026 is like can you please tell us a bedtime story

[tall]

[dramakoala]

[gio99999]

I have this saved as "iveneverplayedbalatro.png"

[runby2]

in recent events of that zoo losing the clouded leopard, it reminded me of the time i went to a large petting zoo and there was a free roaming little black sheep. cutest little guy i ever saw, soi went to the zookeeper nearby and said ‘i think its really cute how you have a sheep thats allowed to just walk around. ‘ then the zookeepers eyes widened and he grabbed his walky talky and ran 

[saxophonechihuahua]

[395nm]

Fuck Meyer-Briggs whatever typology. This INTFP shit is only for redditors up their own asses to substitute for a personality. Use my new typology instead!

Your ideal environment is:

Hot/Cold

Wet/Dry

Bright/Dark

Loud/Quiet

[bedupolker]

HWBL - beach boy

HWBQ - tropical fish

HWDL - dingy club bathroom hookup

HWDQ - the swamp woman

HDBL - CoachellaBurningmanSouthbysouthwestACL attendee

HDBQ - Lizard

HDDL - Vegas babeyyyy

HDDQ - Trapped in a slot canyon

CWBL - Rowdy Lobsterman Crew

CWBQ - penguin living

CWDL - port angeles basement show

CWDQ - bruminating amphibian/hypothermic mammal

CDBL - ski resort

CDBQ - Christmas in Nebraska

CDDL - mcmurdo station rave

CDDQ - corpse

[digitaldiscipline]