祝日 / Permanent Vacation
hello vonnie
Kiana Khansmith
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
macklin celebrini has autism
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Three Goblin Art
Keni
shark vs the universe
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
DEAR READER
PR's Tumblrdome
Misplaced Lens Cap
izzy's playlists!
Stranger Things
trying on a metaphor
dirt enthusiast
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
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ellievsbear
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@unionphil-blog
Living Footloose
Today I learned I live in the town from footloose. Dancing is practically illegal here. Except when the church and schools have dances, because that's a place of morality. Here is a link to an article about a music club that was shut down for letting people dance while bands played. Also, absolutely no dancing on sundays. I'm going to get a ghetto blaster and dance the day away on a sunday in front of town hall.
Utah
I've moved to southern Utah for the reason of work. I have a full time job now and that's pretty sweet. What sucks is that I'm in Utah now. This state is so red it's like living in the USSR. Censorship is a very real thing here and if anything is vulgar or even slightly smut it is banned. Everything that gets banned for these reasons gets reasoned out to be to protect families and children. Any bars? No. Any liquor stores? No. Any "naughty" adult store? Of course not! There is no culture here to speak of outside of the Mormon church. There is a theater here with very strict regulation on what can be performed there so no Rocky Horror for me for awhile.The only thing keeping me from leaving is a steady paycheck.
:(>Z0
I'm making myself a fitted "dress". Black with purple trim. A hood for those rainy days. All of it sewn together by hand. All so I dont have to wear pants.
Light & Dark
Those who live in the darkness become more sensitive to the light,
Seeing brightness and warmth where light dwellers overlook,
The longer he lives in the darkness the more light he can see,
The more significant each spot of light,
Deeper into the dark,
The light becomes a twinkle among countless others,
Each distant twinkle a source of light and hope,
He goes deeper to see more of the light,
Until nothing but darkness remains,
He becomes blind,
Unable to see the light.
I made a pixel art spider bomb. This is the roughdraft for an enemy in a game I’m designing. All of the enemies will have some sort of mechanical theme with the same style eye. I’ve been developing the themes for this over the past couple of days, and I’m happy about the direction I’m going in with it.
I can't upload the picture because tumblr is being dumb and I can't edit the post to say this
I made a pixel art spider bomb. This is the roughdraft for an enemy in a game I'm designing. All of the enemies will have some sort of mechanical theme with the same style eye. I've been developing the themes for this over the past couple of days, and I'm happy about the direction I'm going in with it.
STOP
I need to stop and figure out what I want to do with my life. I have had no real direction for the most of it and just lived on a whim. I feel that those times are over. The world is a terrifyingly magnificent place to be living right now.I wish I was alive just 350 years ago just to be in a time where everything wasn't changing at a moments notice. There is so much to do and no time left to do any of it. Where should I go? I feel that I do better in a position of power because then I have more voice in a situation if nothing else. Being 20, I don't see me getting this kind of job for a while because of my inexperience. Inexperience based on age. I still have so much time to live but that amount of time frightens me. I don't want to live to see cultures rise and fall, the separation of nations, changing of power. Very big things will be happening within the next 40 years, too many things to think about. So many things can happen, but wont. It's mind boggling to think about the possibilities of the what if. 20 years have brought me plenty of events in my life, now I can be aware of the whole of the next 20. But where do I belong in it? I want to try things that are so unconventional, like becoming a blacksmith, but those are difficult to get into because finding someone to be an apprentice to is hard to find. There is no such thing as a school to go to and get certified as a blacksmith. It takes work. Through levels of apprentice, journeyman, master, then ultimately an expert. I also kind of want to own a farm just so I can have room to have room. There are so many possibilities floating in the sea that I live in, which one should I hunt down before it's too late? How much longer until I stop being so existential and just actually do something? Hopefully never, I enjoy being able to feel like it's an open world still. I need a direction to head in soon though.
It rained for like a whole entire day. It just stopped and cleared up. I should be able to see the last of the persied meteor shower tonight! From a hottub! On a down note my straight rzor needs honed and I don't have the tools to do that, or any money to buy the tools to do it. So until I can buy a razor, or sharpening stones of the right grit level, my facial hair is growing out. Trust me it's a terrible thing and all patchy. Is no fun.
The real bard
The best bard
Remind me to get this as a tattoo later. After the wings of course.
I will be selling short stories as ebooks for like 50 cents each. Nice short stories about various kinds of topics. I have one almost finished. When that's up I'll say something. This is coming together fairly well.
I've been having dreams involving gods that I've never heard of. Last night it involved whales. It was amazing to ride on top of that freight train and see that magnificent whale surfacing in the sea next to the rail. There was alot more that happened and had nothing to do with this part, but I only clearly remember that part.
8/10
The perseid meteor shower peaks tonight and the sky is cloudy. I would love to see the meteor shower in its full beauty some day from a place far away from any city and any light so that I could see all of them. In a city it's easy to forget how spectacular the night sky can be if we let the darkness consume us leaving only the distant light to fall upon us. Our artificial lights shield our eyes from the vast infinite amazing universe that we can't hope to comprehend. We can pretend that we know the beginning of everything when we can only speculate. Will we ever know what was here before anything had existed? How could we know what was real before reality?
Science claims the big bang brought our universe into existence, but what was before that? Many religions say God created everything, but all that's there is belief. What the people in charge believe becomes truth, and it continues to be the truth until it is challenged. It is taught to the children in school as undeniable fact from books that never lie. They pledge their allegiance to a flag that has power they can't comprehend. We send children to school to restrict free thinking.
Our world needs more people to think for themselves. No longer should anyone need to rely on a source outside of themselves to know what they should feel. Nor should anyone blindly preform any task without being fully informed of what effects their actions will cause. But if people are kept from feeling on their own, from thinking their own unique thoughts, From seeing the infinite everything, what do they become?
Stress
It's becoming very frustrating to just not be doing anything all day. None of the advice I have ever been given has worked. Not a single employer has called me back. None. Not the ones that I've called, not the fast food joints, not even a simple stocking position. No interview in two months. I don't know what to do about it anymore. On top of that I just received a letter from someone who has been dead for the better part of eighteen years. I haven't been able to bring myself to read it yet. I know it will be full of hope, and I know it will bring me to tears. I just suppose I'm afraid I haven't lived up to the expectations of the one who wrote it.
I need to find a direction to go in. Trying to go everywhere hasn't worked out. My world is far too open right now. There is no rut, only new ground to step on for me. No regular path but an infinite multitude of possibilities to go and explore to overwhelm myself. I need to be nudged somewhere, into one direction. Until I find my path what am I to do? I just grow more frustrated by the day and can't fathom what I am to do next.
Blue
I had a horrifying dream involving a strange blue, squishy, vaguely fetusy looking thing without eyes. I had to keep it alive for some reason. It almost drowned in a drain puddle and i preformed cpr with my index finger on it with it in my hand. It was very top heavy. Really big head and broad shoulders. Much like a reverse teardrop shape. It coughed violently then breathed. There in my hand. No bigger than a football and squishier than a jellyfish. It was disgusting. Its ghostly hollow face haunted my thoughts all day long. So vulnerable, so easy, and nothing more disgusting.
bip bop
I got a phone call from the devil today. I was asleep so I couldn't answer it. The last four digits were 0666. Also It rained for the first time in a month. The grass should come back to life soon.
I have realized that I have no overarching plot for my book story. That's a big problem. I need to figure out what the main characters purpose should be. They need to have some reason to travel the world. I've been focusing on the world more than the story though. It's time for a focus shift.
Back
I Just disappeared for a month. It happens. Also I haven't slept in 40 hours. To be honest I feel pretty fine. I did actually start working on a book. I will be posting the first chapter when I reach its conclusion I'm going to call this state of being sleep drunk. I feel like I am between the real world and a dream. Only the contact is real other sensory inputs feel synthesized. Also I slur my words when I speak as some of my friends have witnessed before. Heavy slurring indeed. I also stumble quite a bit. So my book story. Yeah. I decided to go with fantasy so most of my time for it was making the world for the story to play out in. It's going to be some crazy adventure. I'm not sure how long it will be or where it will end. When I put the chapter up please let me know what could be improved. I should sleep. My mind isn't tired but my body sure is.
I need to see if I can find one place that is actually hiring. I got a few resumes out today. Hopefully I'll get calls back. Thats how I spent my 20th birthday. Job hunting. Isn't life grand.
