Zen_Ren

Art is my savior

[universeofzenren]

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Using my voice 101... this is my first performance. I am so grateful my soul tribe got up there and supported me in this vision yesterday. I was holding a lot inside these last few years. I originally wrote this poem about Trayvon Martin. Then my cousin was killed for his cell phone, followed by my brother and I just couldn't keep holding everything down anymore. A woman who practiced reiki on me early this year said I just want to leave here and go on an adventure with you. While she must continue her light work I should continue living my life like it is one big adventure and to start using my voice. I always listen, I know that god speaks through us all... so grateful that I am the kind of woman who will step out of her comfort Zone... and so it is. amen. 🙏🏽 (at Fais Do Do)

[universeofzenren]

We met 7.7.7 and although we are not together in that way anymore i will always honor our anniversary. I wouldn't be who I am today if it wasn't for the 8 years I laid side by side and woke every sunrise next to Karl. We grew up together from our humble roots on Chicago's south side to sleeping on blow up mattresses on his uncles basement floor to living in high rises over looking waterfront views to building houses in Malibu and bel air. i owe a lot to this man who worked tirelessly to put me through design school. He taught me to not be just another pretty face but to work hard even when the road gets tough. When I lost my brother sadly I lost myself and so I hurt the person who was closest to me yet he forgave me and so we taught each other the meaning of loving without attachments. At some point I felt my wings were clipped and instead of making me stay he let me fly... I realize now that we are apart of the same flock, the same tribe, my soul mate but relationships change and we have to allow the organicism of life to play out so here is to friendship. Cheers to conscious uncoupling, to having your cake and eating it too! Here's to Karl Braunz, the man, the myth, the legend... ❤️ he doesn't look a thing like Jesus but he talks like a gentlemen and was a carpenter when we were young... (at Downtown Los Angeles)

[universeofzenren]

Perspective, a universal love poem 🙏🏽 #poetry #wisdom #words #spirituality #love #universe #surrender #release (at Downtown Los Angeles)

[universeofzenren]

I'M JUST SAYING... (A poem) I am not your girl so don't be expecting I am a humble soul no need for flexing I am reality not a reality hoe you be texting Step to me but know I'm not one to mess with Come a little closer if you want a kiss Have a taste but know I ain't a one time hit Like The Weeknd putting time in tryna fit You're not my boy, I can't claim you in the streets We can be discrete but life is better in the open Making bitches jealous that be scoping I could love you but its better if we stay acquainted I'd rather get high, drop the shots back and get faded, When I am lonely I get so anxious Life's been rough, I'm not a victim, I am just sayin', Your eyes wonder like a leaf in the wind it keeps swayin', I am your dock for a while when you're boating, Eventually you'll set sail and get going Maybe that's my abandonment issues and they're showing, Time spent with you has me glowing, You should know I have a thing for you, When we fucked under the stars time stood still while I was moaning, But putting my heart on my sleeve, I ain't going, So I sit here with this pen and paper, I am flowing, So go tell your friends about her, That girl you met in Cali who fucked you on the low, Now you're wearing crystals around your neck just tryna take it slow But boy you should know, I am not your girl, I am too reckless Just want you to take me out and I'll wear dresses, Just want to give you pussy on the reg'lar, I am grieving I just want some of your affection, I am open to love but its whatever, I am not saying you so keep it clever I am an open book to life's endeavors, I just want success, cashing checks and all the glory, You're around because I know you're apart of the story Soul tribe, down to ride so you make me horny, Still I am not your girl just your friend Will be rocking crystals being spiritual Just two adventure kids that's how the story ends...

[universeofzenren]

A place you would have to experience to understand... #homeoftheheart #joshuatree (at Joshua Tree, California)

[universeofzenren]

I am a spiritual G... And so it is. Somewhere on a mountaintop reflecting on my journey in Joshua Tree (at Joshua Tree Park)

[universeofzenren]

Life is good! A lil yoga on the jobsite... #malibu #carpediem #yolo #oceanfront #naturalbeauty #jobsite

[universeofzenren]

As a designer this means everything... My life is still just a first draft #morley #morleyart @official_morley @stonemalonegallery Mondays motivator, cheers to the week! ✌

[universeofzenren]

Still coming down from the amazing last few days. #mothernature #iamtherosethatgrewfromconcrete #naturalbeauty #californiadreaming #carpediem #yolo #namaste #happybird Let go _________///_______________________//////__/______ Oh brother, I watched as his life turned grey Felt he didn't have a choice Had to leave not stay So I turned to the mountain To call upon his face I felt the energy sway The way it moved my dress Brought me to confess From sunshine to the rain in my tent The truth poured through my flesh Weight lifting from my chest As I reflect it made me accept unprogram and hit reset

[universeofzenren]

My office... I am truly blessed from humble beginnings to staying humble. #wednesday #malibu #workflow #interiordesigner #babyarchitect #construction #manifesting #beauty (at Maibu California)

[sssleepallnight]

sarah sitkin

[sssleepallday]

Sarah Sitkin 

solid cast resin and silicone, 2015

[universeofzenren]

South Loop, Chicago (A to B)

Point A: My beginning location is the South Loop of Chicago, Clark and 9th Street if we want to be exact. It’s morning time and I am off to Portfolio foundation class. I pour open the door where Today’s news paper remains tucked in between my apartment and the hallway. Stepping over it I move toward the elevator and press the down button. It takes a while for the elevator to come at 10 in the morning.  It is peak hours here in my high rise building. When the elevator finally comes there are other twenty something’s with back packs strapped on and other men and women in professional attire clinging to there thermoses full of coffee. Finally I make my way out into the beautiful Chicago air. Walking North in the direction opposite of my favorite place, Target on Roosevelt. As I look around my landscape I notice dogs harnessed in going for there morning walks, CTA bus number 22 passing by, Dunkin Donuts to my left and a tempting over priced Starbucks location to the east of me on Harrison Street. I am walking fast. My adrenaline is still pumping from my morning work out. The humidity is making my clothes stick to my body. Still I continue to walk fast. I peer up noticing the formation of the clouds and I smile.  I look down noticing the trash littered on the ground and I do a note to self: When I have more time I will walk down Clark and pick up all this trash interrupting my beautiful view.  Still I continue on my way. I am the first pedestrian to make it to the Congress Parkway intersection. Ahead of me is the most bazaar stretch on Clark Street. There is a Men’s only hotel, a maximum security prison, homeless men shooting the shit right outside the blue line stop, not one but  two fish fry joints, a hair salon with a disco theme, and a pawn shop. I pass this area trying not to draw attention to myself as all the creepy men size me up and down. Then I turn left on Van Buren and climb my way up to the brown line train stop. I am going in the direction of Kimball. Which takes me around the loop in the opposite direction. The type A in me doesn’t like this. I wait about 7 minutes before the train comes. I like taking the train. It gives me a chance to cool off from my power stroll and enjoy my favorite pass time, people watching. I get on the train and go around the loop and hit the following stops before reaching the merchandise mart; Library, Adams & Wabash, Randolph & Wabash, State & Lake, Clark &lake and finally the Merchandise Mart. Before exiting the train I hear one last time, “this is the brown line train to Kimball.” I go over the stairs and through the revolving doors all the way on the left. I’m not sure why everyone wants to cram themselves through the same door on the right hand side like little duckies. I make my way through the CTA exit feeling like I have made it to my finish line. How convenient, the food court greets me with open arms. Some days I take the escalator down stairs and walk past all the design companies. Hoping to visualize one of my future jobs. When I am in a hurry like today I walk down a long stretch of walk way passing Q 101. I love the view from the passage way connecting the Merchandise Mart to the Sun Times Building also known as my school and location to Portfolio Foundation. Finally just one more set of escalators before I reach my destination. I take two lefts and a right before making it to the doors leading up to the checker floored hallways. I stare at the plaques on the wall trying to find the correct one that will point me in the direction to classroom 1011. I slow and take in all the projects placed on the walls to give me, a new comer inspiration. Then I arrive at 1011(1+0+1+1= 3 = Numerology,  Buddha, I am at Peace),  So I find a seat somewhat centered to the front of the classroom. Then I ease into my seat, I begin to relax having made it to point B.

[universeofzenren]

Truth in journal form

When I got back to los Angeles after the longest week of my life in Chicago I thought to myself now i am free. Nothing would ever be harder then being put in charge of planning my brothers funeral. Writing his obituary and eulogy was a greater challenge then any design studio class or jobsite deadline. While everyone was crying I was working the funeral selecting images, videos and music, preparing the projector. Being the spitting image of my brother everyone kept bursting into tears and had a hard time looking at me or felt I was the most relevant to offer up their sincerist condolences. My brother and I were a year apart so I knew everyone he rolled with so I made it my responsibility to reach out to everyone. I'm not brave though nor am I strong. I am just comfortably numb. I've been this way for a while so use to tragedy's; flight or fight is second nature. Its only now that I am ready to reflect been so damn busy with getting this degree. And in the moments when I'm not analyzing architecture I am honoring my inner child by focusing on laughter instead of death. The most fucked up part about the funeral especially one taking place in Englewood is that were all so use to it. I was 6 when I was inducted into funeral culture when my favorite Uncle Norris was found dead. I was a grown ass woman before I ever went to my first wedding and that's when I chose to keep myself on the straight and narrow and try to be normal and less underground. I want to celebrate people while they are alive. Sometimes thats hard, to be from the hood and want success is a constant grind. I'm learning a lil balance and time spent with those you love is more valuable then nice things. Gotta stop visiting people once they are heading to the grave. I don't know why I thought my syblings were any different then my cousins. Why I thought we were the ones who made it. Now I know we are all the same. We all have been exposed to life in the ghetto and the hell it can become if you don't have a purpose. Chicago can swallow you up or you can thrive. I know that, I always knew that. I know that even now that I am in Cali. I need to keep manifesting these mountains and this sunshine so I can continue to stay...

[universeofzenren]

Breaking Fast

Trying to stop myself from being a brat Wishing for other things instead of my current plans of waiting for my friend. You know he is forbidddden that’s why you said no to dinner because he represents the change you can not fully embrace. Reflecting. I wish tonight i had celebrated Eid Mubarak apart of the local spiritual community. I am so busy using others to fill my voids when I could have made plans to honor myself. Now I’m crying when I look prettier than I’ve ever looked. Ramadan restored my skin and my body and parts of my mind. Still as I sit here writing I realize I still have so much work to do. There are things in my life that bother me some brought on by my ego and others brought on by those not wanting to love me unconditionally. Those not willing to grab a hold of me and really be there…. The girl before them today is not the old tired version they paint me to be. Feeling so lonely with the thought of losing my brother, my sister coming to LA and not being important enough to visit, the family reunion im not apart of all makes me feel shitty. As I replay my position in my head I know its all out of my control; while they are family my absence do to neglect is wide. I think about death and its matter factness. I think about the way others perceive me while I stand here breathing. These thoughts made me feel so lonely I wrapped my brothers Burberry shirt around me trying to feel his hug. Somehow this foreshadows time alone where I learn to feel at home on the inside. Only I can release me from this pain.

[universeofzenren]

Summer Fling [muse]

New components have risen and with them new pieces have been added to the pie of life. The summer season is still young yet the unfoldings overdue, kismet and revealing since the month of May. All the while your moving and grooving; colliding with faces their to fill up the vacant spaces. Little by little they make their marks. Some find their way into our hearts. While others tap at our brains to take wisdom and replace with the same. Some become lessons while others remain open chapters after characters manifest from an old pondered thought. This inspired creative collaborations bookmarked as a result of escaping time while increasing productivity, also known as vibing… Organic movements thanks to that summer time muse. A guide, a friend who shakes winter blues out of your head, building, system. One day you will miss them, wish you could assist them, stay consistent but seasons change. Today let’s remain embraced, saved as we cave into our self with gratitude for the smell in the air of a summer time fling, a tangible person, place or thing…

[universeofzenren]

It will be hard to put into words what Hip Hop Architecture means. You cannot understand music by writing about it. You must hear it, dance to it, play it and sing it. This goes for architecture; the untrained eye cannot analyze architecture but the mind, body and soul have experienced the phenomenon known as dwellings since the day they were born. __________________________________________