I really love how you compared The Storm and Western Air Temple episodes!! I personally never saw a connection between Iroh's behavior on either scenes. So it got me thinking.
(I apologize beforehand because I wrote a full on essay, that's probably filled with flimsy arguments/observations and might've repeated myself to boredom... So feel no rush to read this, let alone write a response lol)
What I found most interesting is how Iroh technically turned his back on Zuko those two times. (Literally or not lol) (Also massive essay incoming)(Extreme yapper overthinking about blorbo)
It's obvious how he did nothing when Zuko faced Ozai in the Agni Kai, he refused to speak up against it.
The act of looking away itself is supposed to show how Iroh knows that these things are wrong. He grimaces and closed his eyes. Which could've also been read as cowardly by FN society. But at the same time, it contradicts itself with the fact that he is a major figure of authority. Arguably a powerful one since he's the Firelord's older brother. And yet he did nothing despite supposedly caring so much about Zuko.*¹
It could even be worse without having in mind that beyond the societal rules within the FN, he quite literally turned his head to the very blatant and horrifying abuse that was subjected onto Zuko at that moment.*²
In contrast, the Western Air Temple episodes shows a way more subtle act.
Upon the suggestion of resting, Zuko insults Iroh via calling him lazy*³, and then reaffirms his current mission and stubbornness on it. As you pointed out, Iroh heads out and leaves Zuko alone, after having a massively traumatic assault happen just a week ago.*⁴
Iroh's behavior presents a notable passiveness. The "gentle parenting" style itself seemed to be rather lackluster, having in mind how he kept trying to give "advice" for the entirety of Zuko's banishment. Therefore showing how Zuko's stubborn ass just refused to listen and learnt nothing due to how little Iroh actually tried beyond superficial level mentions of these deeply important values.
More than "advice", most of Iroh's encouragement towards healthier habits/mindset, it seems more like "suggestions" due to how he immediately gives up once Zuko doesn't gaf. (That doesn't seem very mentor-y of him, mind you.) Yes I'm also aware that this is one intrinsic flaw he's had the whole time. It is often the case... when it comes to Azula. When it's Iroh, he's never shown such deliberate disregard until his banishment.
Either way, I personally think that Iroh turned his back on Zuko on that moment as well.
We need to have in mind how unstable Zuko was at the time. Just a week ago, he had a home, a father he wanted to make proud, an opportunity to prove himself as much as showing he's adequate to rule, his eagerness, optimism—All of it was gone. Not just that, but he had also suffered devastating physical and psychological damage due to Ozai's abuse. There's a clear reason as to why he was already hell-bent on his mission so early on. He was just a kid. He wanted things to go back to the way they were. He had to prove himself worthy.
With that said, Iroh turned his back to him in the sense that he easily lets Zuko slip into harmful patterns while on his search due to the latter not collaborating and throwing a personal attack towards him.
One would think that so early on, Iroh would've been equally hell-bent on ensuring that Zuko kept healthy habits, especially a mere week after the Agni Kai. But he just gives up easily. Essentially leaving Zuko to perpetuate this constant pattern of just not listening to Iroh, not thinking through things and refusing to take care of himself, due to how he could get Iroh off his back right away. And the latter would also casually go fuck off somewhere else he didn't clarify. (Recurring pattern)
Even worse, Iroh could've said literally anything before opting to go away. He could've insisted on how Zuko's search would be fruitless of he worked himself to death and got sick enough to not be able to continue traveling. It may have been fairly sketchy advice, but at the very least he would've actually tried to convince him to act on some positive practices early on, when Zuko was so incredibly vulnerable and sent off into the world as if nothing.
Overall, in both cases, Iroh seems to turn his back on Zuko when he desperately needed help. With The Storm showing how Iroh allowed the abuse to happen despite being an authority figure that could've potentially done or said something about it. And with The Western Air Temple demonstrating how he immediately gave up on convincing Zuko to rest and allowed him to overwork himself whilst giving no direct positive support for his nephew.
Okay okay it may seem outlandish with all this wording and long paragraphs. But he very much allows some harm to come through Zuko on different occasions and different ways. Accidentally or not. In those specific moments, Zuko needed protection and actual positive influences (respectively), and Iroh didn't even do the bare minimum on either case.
[PT: Possible counter points:]
Now I know some people may point out how 1) Iroh may be prioritizing Zuko's privacy and agency. Which is false! Since allowing a minor—who's supposed to be under his care—to simply do fuck all and refuse to rest isn't an example of agency. Allowing said minor to not practice basic care is neglect. It's still a form of neglect if the care itself was suggested and then not encouraged beyond a superficial "mention" level.
2) One may suggest "but it's because he refuses to! It's an outcome that lets him have his wishes respected whilst possibly having him face any negative consequences of his carelessness, that way he'd learn!"
And it is true that minor's wishes SHOULD ALWAYS be treated as important and imperative to be listened to and respected. But still, if you look at the text... Zuko very clearly demonstrates a deeply harmful attitude that stems from desperation. Besides the typical "let the kid eat candy and watch tv all night, they'll see how they feel in the morning and understand why they can't do that" is a harmful line of thinking since it implies a level of conscious neglect that tries to justify itself via being wearing youth lib arguments as a fazade, as well as it puts the hypothetical child/minor in danger.
Besides, we're talking about a deeply injured and traumatized teen who doesn't cope in a healthy way, expressing a desire to achieve a goal imposed onto an abusive figure as fast as possible, regardless of the self destructive methods and connotations it'd carry. Iroh certainly doesn't justify his departure as an extent of teaching a lesson. (nor is it implied to)
[note: the example given on this point is here due to how widespread it is, and the possibility of it being used as an argument against my arguments/observations. I obviously do not support nor condone this harmful way of thinking]
3), the argument of "he's giving Zuko some time for himself" could also be used. And it's the one that comes closest to actually working against this whole essay-long post since it can easily be canon. But it doesn't mean that it absolves Iroh's lack of support here. Because yes, Zuko's obviously troubled like he's never been in his life. And we knew that he's prone to reacting negatively to a ton of things, or having outbursts of emotion. But I personally believe that he needed support and guidance more than anything, especially freshly banished and abused.
We knew he had such reactions in the Zuko Alone flashbacks, and how actual gentle parenting (not the half assed suggestion Iroh gives her) does show itself as effective. Like in the turtle-duck pond scene with Ursa.
So then, although Iroh might've personally believed Zuko needed time to process his feelings and situation on the matter, he accidentally or not ended up neglecting the much needed lesson about self care that he needed for the long run. Iroh's good intentions do not justify the casual neglect.
And 4), the possibility that Iroh may have tried this many other times beforehand and didn't work and/or allowing Zuko to be with his thoughts due to his aggressive response. These are also somewhat futile since the text itself doesn't seem to imply that this is a recurring thing, more so the first example of this kind of comments coming from Iroh during the banishment itself. He sighs in exasperation due to Zuko refusing to take the advice, and then promptly leaves without further comment. The sigh could be read as exasperation that stems from having tried to convince Zuko to rest time after time to no avail*⁵. But if that were the case, I think that the dialogue would've pointed out how this had been a recurring thing. And it doesn't seem to.
Aditional observations (marked with *)
[Pt: Aditional observations (marked with asterisk)]
→ 1 : *[It's pretty implied that Iroh holds guilt towards allowing this to happen. Or at least to have turned his head away to it. And I personally think that said guilt is present on The Western Air Temple interaction as well. He seems worried for Zuko's wellbeing, but doesn't seem to try to get him to listen to him and rest. Iroh probably sees Zuko's trauma and anger towards him (one that may or may not be Zuko's toxic outlet for his anger and possible guilt/self blame, depends on how much benefit of the doubt is given) as a direct byproduct of his (Iroh's) inaction.
If that were the case, it's even more unfortunate how Iroh, possibly wallowing on his guilt, doesn't actually try all that much to be there for Zuko in that very flashback. Maybe feeling an amount of self blame and guilt that actively stopped him from genuinely trying to help Zuko at that moment]]
→ 2 : *["No yeah Zuko believe me, your father totally loves you. Never mind that I was the only one to look away and never talk about when he violently abused and scarred you for life. No, no, he loves you for sure despite having banished you on what was previously wild a goose chase—Just keep following my lead! Whatever keeps you moving on rather than the actual truth! And if you don't listen to me I'll just head out and leave you on your own, don't mind me."
I'm sorry, I have feud with Iroh and the jokes write themselves]
→ 3 : *[There's a very interesting interpretation here in regards to how Zuko's referred to Iroh in the past. From what we've seen pre-Agni Kai, Zuko pretty much held him on a pedestal, since he was the cool uncle™ who gifted him foreign knives as tokens of victory, who was so funny, kind, and hard working on his military pursue. (And was also implied to have spent a significant amount of time taking care of him during his infant-toddler days on Ember Island) He defended his retreat from Ba Sing Se to Azula, as she pointed out (even at such young age) how he was a disgrace in regards to typical FN royal family standards. Zuko was shown as still fond of his uncle even right before the war meeting that'd lead to the Agni Kai.
But in the Western Air Temple flashback, we're shown the very first time when he insults or mocks Iroh as he calls him "the laziest man in the Fire Nation".
What I find most interesting is the fact that he says that at all. Which may imply that Zuko remembered and then followed some of Azula's past comments/criticisms, and started to see what she talked about in regards to who Iroh was—since this is the only instance of any character speaking negatively about Iroh, to Zuko, in older points of the timeline. (Wow, can't believe they could've agreed on one thing for the first time../lh/j)
This could also lead to an implication that leans towards a possible resentment Zuko might've had towards Iroh. The uncle he loved so dearly, and who took such great care of him when no one was there. The uncle whose reputation he's tried to protect, whose decisions he's tried to justify, even as a little kid. The uncle who looked away and didn't call out not speak against horrid abuse being inflicted on him due to contrived social norms.
No wonder he starts to believe all that Azula said back then, about how lazy and uncommitted Iroh was. No wonder he could've used insults towards him as an outlet for the injustice he felt towards his only openly supportive family member not being there for him.
This is a very much subtextual, and possibly quite biased observation. But I find it so fascinating how Zuko's resentment towards Iroh is completely untapped, never stated as canon (or only portrayed as annoyance/aggression), and would've disregarded completely if it ever was canon. (Just look at his guilt driven arc towards Iroh in B3. Which was catered towards his betrayal of Iroh, reasonably so, but could've held greater depth with any possible mixed feelings added onto the mix)]
→ 4 : *[In a more meta sense, I may be playing devil's advocate here, but in just a mere week, Iroh seems already done with Zuko. The scene could've made a point towards indicating how it was the beginning of his (questionable) mentoring of Zuko, how he hadn't put his mind to it at the moment and merely wanted to ensure that he was okay and not superficially alone... But the flashback itself seems to cater it's emotional resonance more towards "wow look at just how badly Zuko treated poor Iroh, he's been trying so hard for his nephew ever since", rather than having a little more focus on the emotionally volatile and severely traumatized 13 year old who's just lost it all and desperately wants to get it back—And is showcasing toxic coping mechanisms alongside harmful tendencies. (saying that both should've have a focus whilst holding Zuko accountable for his past behavior—or at least a different example of it) But no, let's just aim our sympathies towards how badly he treated the grown war veteran who had the chance to avoid this situation all together, because he's just so nice to this insufferable teenager!]
→ 5 : [unrelated, but I do wonder if Iroh's sigh could've been an exasperated reaction to Zuko's insult, rather than the implicit refusal itself. In a possibly dismissive way? Nonetheless, if it were like that, it'd make Iroh heading out look so much more sketchy with that context. If this was all true, would Iroh have tried more to get Zuko to rest if the latter hadn't insulted him? Would Iroh have cared way more? or turned away regardless of the words spoken? It's truly interesting if we also add on the possibility of Iroh carrying immense guilt for having retreated from Ba Sing Se, and been perceived as a "lazy" or a "disgrace", plus guilt from Lu Ten's death adding even more salt to the wound. Just to wrap it up on how he refused to convince Zuko to rest after he called him such insults. (It could also be more amplified if we add on my first observation, which speculated on the guilt Iroh could've felt towards letting the Agni Kai happen as a bystander.) Overall considering himself a failure of a father, general, and uncle at that moment/or being reminded of it? Just saying that either his pettiness towards being called lazy at the moment/his guilt about considering himself such, led him to turn his back on Zuko and just let the latter overwork himself go death, due to Iroh's own hurt ego (probably?? This one's messy and way too guilt riddled but it's such a fascinating possibility too) (also I'd understand how he'd be exasperated at the insult and how it obviously hurts, but refusing to teach self care to Zuko because of that? Prick. ]
Also, in regards to the bonus question:
Bonus: Wondering about the thoughts that could be running through Zuko's head here. ↓
My take is that, having in mind the overarching arc and motivation that Zuko has in B3, he was most likely having self deprecating thoughts in regards to how badly he treated Iroh throughout his banishment. Feeling guilty, remorseful, and most likely cringing at his last self lol.
Though, on a more serious note, I think there's an interesting pattern to note;
- He was raised to believe how Ozai's treatment of him was justified because he let down this figure he wanted paternal love from—he disrespected it. Therefore he needed to make up for it via fulfilling his destiny and life long duty of capturing the Avatar. (imposed by Ozai) Until he HAD to find out for himself that it was actually abuse. And therefore owed nothing to him.
(never mind that Iroh never ever tried to help him realize that on a mostly unsupervised banishment. Maybe because that'd also lead him to understand Azula's situation, therefore humanizing her—and Iroh obviously wouldn't have wanted that)
- And now, in this scene, that very pattern is being repeated. Zuko views Iroh as this perfect figure who did his best, and yet was let down by his behavior. He betrayed Iroh's trust in him, and now searches for a way to make up for it. Let it be aiding the Avatar and fulfilling the different destiny that Iroh pitched to him.
Yes, Iroh has been, by far, the figure with the most positive impact on Zuko's life. Basically turning it around. But at the same time, Zuko's inability to register Iroh's faults, bad behavior (except for the visible reactions he may get that aren't elaborated on, such as Iroh being a weirdo to June smh), and all his sketchy or plain bad teachings at times, (hard to understand proverbs, changing the meaning of what Zuko's destiny is, etc) accidentally perpetuates this cycle of being unable to notice these acts that adults enforce on him to their benefit, and to his detriment.
(Now, it's obvious that this comparison is unfair having in mind how Iroh's case is completely different. Zuko was legimately in the wrong for betraying the person who's been there for him the whole time, and then for having helped to conquer Ba Sing Se, aiding in the murder of the Avatar, ruining thousands of lives... (Shame that the show only deals with the first one of these repercussions) But it is true that the narrative shares that very same beat. And I thought it was worth pointing out due to Zuko holding Iroh on a pedestal during his redemption—not "just" appreciating all he's done for him, he literally can't see Iroh as anything other than a saint. Even if it's pretty much a meta thing, I thought it was interesting]
I feel like Zuko's whole character went from "bad" to "good" because he felt bad for betraying what he considered a father figure (not because he understood the effects of imperialism or how he contributed to it). And there ARE some subtle yet notable instances of some manipulation being utilized by Iroh. But overall, the narrative, accidentally or not, has some elements of Zuko's relationship to Ozai and Iroh being the exact same, but in a different context, font and framing.
Summing it up: he was probably going on a mental (self deprecating) rant against himself for how he behaved back then.
(also, the concept of Zuko berating himself while on some level failing to acknowledge that at the time, he was also an abused kid going through it... That he could've had valid resentment fade away into self hatred for having spoken out of turn at all, since Iroh never spoke about the event nor would've ever admitted how he was an accomplice by inaction... Demonizing his past self that was fresh out of the infirmary.. And that he should never think badly of Iroh under any circumstance due to how much he cared about him, how he idolizes him and realizes the positive impact his uncle had while failing to recognize his shortcomings.. Being unaware that Iroh uses him to fulfill some of his selfish needs, and going along with it... Gosh the angst)
[Pt: Closing statements:]
I likely have been too biased, and cut a ton of slack to Zuko. I recognize that he's my fave just as I definitely acknowledge that he's been awful to most figures that supported him—Thing that in a canon and meta sense isn't truly acknowledged. (And generally sucks as the script doesn't do that much of a job towards confronting some other acts he committed) But I mostly wanted to highlight how Zuko's reaction in the Western Air Temple flashback, specifically, could very much be explainable and deserving of some insight into his state back then. (From then on, it's just bad coping and awful, bigoted behavior. So I'm only giving him a pass on this one)
Buuuutt... I also don't want to cut slack to the grown ass war veteran whose selfish needs might've overpassed his duty to take care of the very traumatized teen at his VOLUNTARY charge, and actually drive him towards a good direction in life, process his trauma—and so much more that's unfortunately irrelevant to the topic at hand.
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