this is Lars

still figuring it out. they/them

[unlikelybanditpartyeagle]

Midway through 2026 and spending lots of time outside

I'm wrestling with what loneliness means to me. It's not inherently a negative thing, and often I thrive on being alone. I think I miss some of the logistical conveniences that a relationship brings

Like a camping buddy

[unlikelybanditpartyeagle]

It's amazing what 5 years and second puberty will do to your face

I showed the pic on the right to some friends and they were all freaked out cause they're not sure they've ever seen me not smiling and I think that was perhaps the best compliment I've ever received.

It's not that I don't feel negative emotions, or that I'm not ever upset; it's more that I'm able to absorb those experiences and not feel like the world is ending.

[unlikelybanditpartyeagle]

A couple pictures that sum up what family feels like.

I will be forever grateful to have these beings in my life and to know that they want me in their lives as much as I want to be there.

[unlikelybanditpartyeagle]

He grows!

(both of us)

[unlikelybanditpartyeagle]

OMG bicep (here's hoping this ages poorly and in a yr or so I look back and am like 'who are those tiny boys')

[unlikelybanditpartyeagle]

What was that about being insufferable?

I repaired a 1970s ccm targa over the past month and it's still a little sketchy but also super cool!

[unlikelybanditpartyeagle]

Hold your absolute fucking horses, I'm about to be insufferable about another new hobby

[unlikelybanditpartyeagle]

Yet another hockey post!

I'm possibly becoming a bit of a jock. A heartbroken jock, but a jock nonetheless.

Nobody tell high school Lars, they'll be so disappointed.

(or at least tell them that we're still very big on learning)

[unlikelybanditpartyeagle]

Big smiles from someone who misses dying their body purple

(L - Sept 2016, R - Jun 2024)

[unlikelybanditpartyeagle]

One year on T!

(this is actually from a couple weeks ago)

[unlikelybanditpartyeagle]

I'd like to assure my 2 real followers that I do still exist

2023 was a LOT in the second half there but I'm happy to be in a place where no matter how heavy things seem to get I still feel confident in my ability to handle them. And I know that if things get out of my hands then I have an incredible group of people to ask for help.

The general existential dread hasn't hung around nearly as much lately, I'd forgotten what it felt like to not have that weight looming.

[unlikelybanditpartyeagle]

7 mos on T face change!

[unlikelybanditpartyeagle]

For 6 months on T, have a pic of me preparing to stab myself in a campground

[unlikelybanditpartyeagle]

Best friendssssss

I've had this bean for 4 yrs now and she continues to amaze me each day. She's growing so much and I'm so proud of how she's come out of her shell

[unlikelybanditpartyeagle]

Alright y'all it's been about a year since I posted (whoops)

Lots of things have happened and I'm pretty proud of them:

- I'm making real adult friends outside of school

- I've accidentally become a sports gay

- I started T three months ago now

- someone offered to pay me for my baking the other day

Life continues to happen, and I'm incredibly glad I've made it to this point. Someone please give high school Lars a hug

[unlikelybanditpartyeagle]

Alrighty so I started this blog as a compilation of photos that felt like 'me' and the really cool thing that's come from taking the time to think about what makes me feel like me is that I can start doing those things more consistently.

I've hit a point where I keep forgetting to add pics to my personal 'me' folder because almost every picture I take looks like me now.

[unlikelybanditpartyeagle]

I forgot to mention that I play hockey like 3x a week now and goodness GRACIOUS you wouldn't believe what that's done for my mental health