As always approachanxiety.com has some great advice. http://approachanxiety.com/2012/07/you-dont-need-a-good-excuse/ This post is by Hurricane Lee Eric and I are on a New York City subway train. Weâre practicing our game. There are two cute girls on the subway car in which weâre standing. Theyâre not together but theyâre sitting a few seats away from each other. Theyâre definitely within earshot, even on a noisy train. Eric talks to the first girl. âYou look like youâre thinking deep, deep thoughts.â She laughs. A moment later, he follows up with, âYou look like you have the weight of the universe on your shoulders.â The statement starts to turn into a conversation. The girl is smiling and starting to warm up to him. But then her stop comes and she jumps up. âBye!â she says with a smile as she gets off the train. As the doors close, I go over and sit next to the other girl. In many ways, this is the interaction men fear most. The girl saw us walk in and saw Ericâs entire interaction. I have nowhere to hide. She knows exactly why Iâm there. What should I do? I sit down right next to her. I turn to her and tap her on the arm. âYou⌠look like youâre thinking deep, deep thoughts,â I say, repeating the exact same opener. Her eyes widen. She points to Eric and says, âThatâs what he said to that girl!â I crack a slight smile. âYou look like⌠you have the weight of the universe on your shoulders,â I say to her. She points at Eric again. âThatâs exactly what he said to that girl! Are you guys walking around saying that to all the girls on this train?â âYeah, thatâs right,â I respond. âWeâre saying it to all the girls on this train who look like theyâre thinking deep thoughts.â âAm I wrong?â I continue. âYouâre not thinking deep thoughts. Youâre thinking stupid, trivial thoughts?â The girl looks at me for a moment, trying to read my face. She realizes that I am not the least bit embarrassed for getting busted. In fact, my slight smirk tells her Iâm having fun watching her get all worked up. And thatâs when it happens. Iâve passed the test. She answers my question. âActually,â she says, âIâm thinking about what liquor I should buy for a party. Any recommendations?â The tension is gone. For the rest of the conversation sheâs friendly. Why do men fear these situations? The first thing to realize is that women donât care why youâre there. You donât need a good excuse for hitting on them. All they care about is that youâre attractive and entertaining. It doesnât matter that you ask them where the F train goes in one breath and tell them that youâre the president of the Metropolitan Transportation Authority in the next. To them, the logical inconsistency is absolutely meaningless. What is meaningful is that you are cool, fun, and seem to be perfectly comfortable under pressure. That is why it doesnât matter if youâre asking for directions to places you should know like the back of your hand. It doesnât matter if you mistakenly hit on the same girl twice. It doesnât matter if girls figure out youâve been doing this all day. It doesnât matter if others observe your approach. It doesnât matter if you have no good reasons to tell your stories. These are obstacles in your own mind and have nothing to do with a womanâs reality. Logical consistency is a crutch. Itâs your way of protecting your ego when youâre rejected. Women donât care. Here is what you should do when you get busted: Own it. Yes, fearlessly admit to everything because, in the end, youâve done absolutely nothing wrong. Example: Her: Is this what you do all day, walk around and say cheesy lines to women? Me: Absolutely. When I see a pretty girl, it makes me want to say hello. In my experience, most women are pretty friendly. Youâre not going to try to change my mind about that, are you? Her: Well, if youâre going to say hello, you should just do it. No lines. Me: Is that what you like? Let me just write that down. (Pretend to write on an invisible notepad.) Ok, got it. Letâs give this another shot. (Take a few steps back and pretend to be just walking up to her.) âHi, I saw you standing here and just had to come say hello. My name is Lee. You are?â Donât run. Donât hide. Donât look for a good excuse. Youâve done nothing wrong. Own it.
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