Krust-C

[saltoncity]

work tomorrow is one of the worst things that can happen to you

[dogpuppy]

[ceruleanheaven]

month starting on a monday we have no excuse guys lets get to work and lock the fuck in

[ceruleanheaven]

yk its actually very chic and avant garde to start on tuesday the second

[ceruleanheaven]

many claim theres nothing more subversive and revolutionary than starting on wednesday the third

[tinyyellowflowers-blog]

After school care pulled me aside about my child dropping an f-bomb “without remorse” and I put on my concerned face and nodded a bunch.

Apparently he was building something with a younger kid “who really looks up to him and is just starting to make friends” and said “Hey, you’re really fucking good at this.” which is, in my estimation, really a parenting victory.

[tinyyellowflowers-blog]

I absolutely failed at doing this:

[podcastwizard]

you don’t realize how important lunch is until you’re wandering around thinking about how unloveable and untalented and uniquely cursed you are and then it’s 4pm and you finally eat lunch and you go Oh. oh right.

[wingkink]

btw it's so fucking stupid you can be anxious physically in your body even after you've decided mentally you don't care. I'm supposed to be in charge here

[mosslingg]

My liege im sorry to break it to you but your advisor that's actually evil and wants you dead turned out to be straight. I know you really wanted to have an enemies to lovers situation with him. Yeah I'm afraid the poisoning didn't hold any romantic intent behind it. The king of the enemy kingdom is bisexual though, I could send him a letter? Yes, I'll make sure to include multiple threats of homoerotic nature. You will have your toxic yaoi, my liege

[fuckyoubaker]

TO BE CLEAR, I AM PERSONALLY NOT INTERESTED IN SEEING.

[unluckypunk13]

Me drunk: im gonna go smoke a cigarette

Also me: ooo im gonna be on the porch i should clip my finger nails (I let them get way to long and don't like the clippings inside because trauma and ew fingernail clippings i could step on )

*steps outside*

*immediately drops clippers under my porch stairs*

*turns on flashlight to locate said clippers*

*looks under porch*

SPIDER NEST

*biggest fear is spiders*

"Im gonna die today, dad, (who has been dead for 3 years) please protect me"

*grabs clippers (spiders free)*

"Thank you dad!"

*immediately drops clippers again and the linch that holds them together falls right back into spider infested under the porch nest*

"Why dad, you gave me this fear; are you testing me!?"

*dives back under the stairs to get said linch pin*

*all is fine I got the pin*

*clips nails*

*is happy I got the job done unscathed*

*goes to light cigarette*

*SPIDER ON MY FUCKING LIGHTER*

"FUCK YOU DAD I KNOW YOU THINK YOUR'E FUNNY BUT I DID NOT WANT THAT!"

[wifegideonnav]

“bits to use in everyday conversations”

[frenchifries]

the critical thing to understand about sora kingdomhearts is that when he was 14 a duck told him he wasn't allowed to express sadness and he has taken that 100% to heart every day for the rest of his life

[tobiasdrake]

The thing Digimon Adventure had over modern isekais is that modern isekais are relatively comfy. Like. When Truck-kun takes you, you can be reasonably sure you'll land in a place where a familiar kind of civilization exists, and where everything will be explained to you pretty quickly.

Digimon Adventure was basically "My Second Life Reincarnated into a Murder World That Explains Nothing and Wants Me Fucking Dead. Now I shit in a bush and need to figure out if berries off of the angry smashing tree are edible. Join me on my quest to find someplace reasonably safe to sleep for the night."

[lamignonette]

[lamignonette]

[perriaeyjeve]

[perriaeyjeve]

[zenethemoon]

Baumriese in Thailand

[contemptible-scoundrel]

Ccan i hit?

I would parry every blow?