E @pastelstoic - Tumblr Blog

Flying is effortless, landing can be a little bit harder, Cornell Lab / DoC (northern royal albatross) (part 1)

There’s so much about this. The tumble itself is so irredeemably funny. The child stops asking for food and just stares in silence as the adult completely beefs it. The adult, absolutely ashamed, wandering off screen, refusing to make eye contact with the baby.

Perfect 10s all round.

parkchanwoohoo

Heard this stupid dad joke that killed me: Which Chinese word takes the longest to write? "Friend" (朋友) because it takes two months just to write half of it

parkchanwoohoo

Which character is faster, hot (热) or cold (冷)? Obviously hot, which has 4 legs to cold's 1

parkchanwoohoo

Why do Chinese vampires hate spicy food? They only drink 不辣的

claire-witch-project

stephdudette

So idk if you guys know of a game called Undertale. Its by Toby Radiation Fox, the guy who does homestuck music.

Well i started playing the demo, and that part with the flower, I thought it was gonna be all cute and nice.

BOY WAS I HELL WRONG. THAT FLOWER FREAKED THE HELL OUT OF ME. IM STILL SHAKING NOW.

someone calm me down. im not even 10 seconds and this is freaky. its like OFF but idk. sdjgklsdjg;lksdjg

imma keep playing though, hopefully it gets better

kittysnail-sadweasel

this is like dusting off an ancient relic

sylphchild

i take my tomestone to ishgard and show it to a sickly brume child and i say theres this band called imagine dragons do u wanna listen and he stares shellshocked off into the distance and says i dont have to imagine them

thwarp

She isn’t her step mom, she’s the mom that stepped up!

Congratulations on your new loving, extremely loud mom

happylandfill23

i've had this garfield panel saved forever and i even marked in my calendar today as "the monday that wouldn't die" so uh. happy(?) monday the 22nd aka the monday that wouldn't die

tumbalendar

Happy Monday that Won't Die!

ieatratsyummy

They could never make me hate you, complex female character whose reaction to trauma was not pretty and digestible like how people think it should be.

tollhousecookie

Hey check out how hard i ca]

musclemanveryregular

You know who else ca]

countably-infinite-rats

its not that hard guys, wat]

tollhousecookie

[n portal through posts 😁

musclemanveryregular

[n portal through posts 😁?

countably-infinite-rats

[ch- wait... guys???

manorpunk

me: what if post-apocalyptic folk religion that’s a syncretic fusion of Latin American Catholicism and the entire Dragon Ball canon because Goku is at least as popular as Jesus.

me: I mean, the overlap is so obvious that people already make jokes about it - the narrative of redemption and transformation through suffering, constant divine tests of moral worthiness… giving Goku your energy for a spirit bomb is genuinely just the power of prayer.

me: wait hang on this actually ticks all the anthropological boxes of ‘what needs are an organized faith supposed to fulfill’ - the emphasis on protection and brotherhood becomes a hospitality network with ingroup signals, mutual obligation, and a ritual template of feasting and training. The stories themselves have culture-heroes and villains who provide a moral framework for communities. The running theme of “people who announce that they are the strongest and put on airs are Bad Guys” acts as a check against petty tyrants trying to establish a hierarchy: you do not get to decide your reputation, you must let your deeds speak for you.

me: there would be regular debates and arguments between ‘originalists’ (ki is an innate but dormant power that must be unlocked through effort and discipline) and ‘Ultra Instinctivists’ (ki is a zen-like state, it’s what remains when all distractions have been removed)

me: I am genuinely kinda sad that these people aren’t real because I would give anything to chill with them at their Sunday asado.

prudencepaccard

the nature of tumblr is just that every so often someone reinvents Mr. Burns, a post-electric play

romanceyourdemons

when you’re mean to me this is literally who you’re being mean to *image of me perched atop a throne of human skulls on a cliff above the ocean, howling wind and shrieking seagulls, and the dream goes on forever, one single static frame*

infectiouspiss

somnophillia is super funny like im honk shoo honk shoo having a good nights sleep and now you must pass the ultimate test of fucking me without waking me by knocking something over or stepping on a crisp packet i've left on my floor. can you finish your mission while my pet geckos judge you from their tanks? because they're not leaving the room okay the geckos stay in here. also the markiplier fnaf playlist stays on. i sleep better when he's screaming.

infectiouspiss

all kink stuff is playing pretend but with somno you're not playing pretend you're locked in you're comfy cozy you're snug as a bug in a rug and your partner is playing pretend instead

infectiouspiss

and like. if you're the one awake you're playing pretend so hard right now like ouuuuhhh look at me i'm a scary evil intruder or a demon or vampire or whatever we're doing tonight and now i just have to uhhhh okay shimmy the duvet off and shhh dontfucking breathe so loud and okayyyyy alright now. ah shit they're sleeping in the family guy death pose how the fuck do i get in there how. how do i. help. why are these geckos looking at me.

infectiouspiss

plus you have to not get too scared when freddy fazbear jumpscares you or else you're waking them up with your screams

lourainwoods-in-the-woods

infectiouspiss

oh great and this guy's here in the cuck box wondering if the screaming is me waking up or markiplier dying or toy bonnie throwing a tantrum

viiioca

i think my favorite ff14 narrative gimmick is that the savage raid unlocks are explicitly just the WOL having adhd daydreams about the cool shit they've done. the omega raids are even explicitly about cid trying to put on an ASMR tibetan meditation spotify playlist to calm them down but the WOL is unmedicated so it really only makes the problem worse

kakushino

All of theseare great like

Wtf am I supposed to reblog?

caesarsaladinn

trying to figure out the funniest crackpot stance on who is the current Roman emperor, and accepting suggestions (tenuous historical justification required)