Unmedicated Lovesick Girlypop

New blog for me to post randomly about my stupid gay life. I am very lovesick and I have zero prescriptions for it. It might be terminal. They/She genderfae weirdo and neptunic (so anything but a man in all departments) Minors, phobes, and truscum DNI

[unmedicatedlovesick]

Sometimes I think that I don't know how to enjoy my own life. Like good things can happen and I just don't feel good about them or I self sabotage. Thank the gods no one from my IRL circle knows about this blog cause here we go.

I was at a party a couple of friends were hosting, and I had stupidly offered some of my Sunday (today as of posting) which I originally had off to help one of my coworkers. Work also ran so late I was guaranteed to be late cause I drive 20 minutes home, and then it was 35 minutes to my friend's place. I was in such a rush to start having a good time that I was immediately offered a drink and then was offered to go upstairs for a bong rip. I got crazy crossed and did have some fun joking around and just enjoying the atmosphere, but like I also got crazy groggy and napped through part of the party.

Then I had to leave and it was like 1:30am, but people were still there and I was just too out of it to stay-plus I still had work in the morning. I should be happy cause I had fun, but like I feel like I fucked things up and I could have enjoyed it more. And I got messages thanking me for coming and complimenting my outfit and shit so like obviously I wasn't a problem.

I just kinda ruined the rest of my day obsessing over how I missed out on the last hour or two of the party and didn't enjoy it as much as I should have.

I just want to be able to enjoy life and not feel like I'm doing things wrong.

[unmedicatedlovesick]

"-oh, mournful and terrible engine of Horror and Crime-of Agony and of Death!"

[unmedicatedlovesick]

For the first time in an age girly got a library card

[unmedicatedlovesick]

Can I take a moment and just be proud of myself?

So I saw my side profile in the mirror like a month or so back and was not a fan of what I saw. I've been walking and exercising more (like 3.5-mile-long walks) and watching what I eat. Today I was looking over my food log and discovered I did such a good job on my food today that I could have the pint of ice cream I had in the freezer and still be way under my calorie budget, and it didn't even explode my fat intake that much.

[unmedicatedlovesick]

It's not in my DNI list, but I haven't had a single good interaction with anyone who a) has their star chart memorized and b) asks for mine within five minutes of interacting. "I just want to know if we're compatible" girlypop you're talking to me rn, that star chart is not going to tell you a damn thing about me. I'm determined to believe that astrology girlies exist to terrorize the general public and ruin people's lives. FIght me.

[northirish]

Vote for me and I will make werewolves real

[northirish]

Top scientists wil work hard round the clock to make it a reality

[northirish]

Bottom scientists as well

[unmedicatedlovesick]

Good call on including the bottoms, they're probably the most motivated to make big monsters that can break them in half real

[unmedicatedlovesick]

Also dating platforms are so dodgy these days. Basic shit getting DOUBLE PAYWALLED like "we'll give you these 3 features for the base paid tier, but fucking EVERYTHING ELSE is behind an even more absurd paywall!" And then even on this woman focused, trans inclusionary platform people are still ignoring my trans label and then blocking me when they find out I'm non-op.

[unmedicatedlovesick]

Wait S4 League is coming back!?

I was thinking about S4 League when I posted yesterday largely because it was my fascination back when I had an empty blog that I used to peruse Tumblr back in the day.

Fuck I hope it ends up on Steam because right now it's only listed on Epic and ain't no way I'm making an Epic Games account after the weirdo CEO went on a rant defending AI deepfake porn of children.

[unmedicatedlovesick]

Somehow even more disappointing than it being on Epic, it was apparently soft launched like late last year by some company trying to cash in on nostalgia. Got criticized, got pulled, and now it's probably dead for real.

[unmedicatedlovesick]

Wait S4 League is coming back!?

I was thinking about S4 League when I posted yesterday largely because it was my fascination back when I had an empty blog that I used to peruse Tumblr back in the day.

Fuck I hope it ends up on Steam because right now it's only listed on Epic and ain't no way I'm making an Epic Games account after the weirdo CEO went on a rant defending AI deepfake porn of children.

[unmedicatedlovesick]

Hi, hello, it's me

Honestly, I should have been active on Tumblr back in its heyday before it was just a hell site with negative traction outside of the occasional Twitter refugees. I technically had a blog back in like 09/10 but I never fleshed it out or posted much of anything. I really did not know how to socialize for shit. I still don't, but at least I know how to post mostly coherent shit on the internet.