Unnatural Mind

An unorganized collection of my writings and thoughts. All works, excluding reblogs, are of my own creation. Get to know me.

[unnaturalmind]

This fucked up country got me inspired to get some writing lights. My ink well has been full for a while now, but it's finally spilling over, and I might even be depressed enough to start writing again.

[unnaturalmind]

My buddy Noel Smith painted this, and I stare at it at work when I need to get away.

www.brushartbynoel.com and @brushartbynoel on insta.

[unnaturalmind]

Almost just like old times 🖊️

[unnaturalmind]

The teams are becoming clear Despite their efforts To keep us focused On fighting each other

The Media The Corporate Elites The Bought Politicians

They see us turning Toward them

Together

[unnaturalmind]

Unforgivable

Turn the loans back on With the flip of a switch But don't tax the rich Don't tax the religious Instead, just dangle the prize Student loan forgiveness To keep them in line

[unnaturalmind]

[unnaturalmind]

I wrote this ^^^^^ almost three years ago

It's hard to believe I made it to three months Even harder to believe I'm one month shy Of three years and three months dry

[unnaturalmind]

A Billy club and a gun Handed out with a badge After a few weeks in training

Now you think you’re the man You can’t wait to start restraining

This power is euphoric You’re more than human The laws don’t apply to you So, technically, you can’t abuse them Show them who’s in charge

Under the president’s direction You should use a little more violence And when you take someone’s life You needn’t worry You can always rely On the police code of silence

[unnaturalmind]

Pitted Against Myself: 9/21/21

My feelings Have me in a pit

It's dark outside

The sides are so steep The top high enough To where I can't see

I pace back and forth As the sun rises As the sun sets

Another day gone Another day With no progress made Still trapped

Me In my pit

A pit so big That my thoughts revolve Around It

Instead of How To get Out

[unnaturalmind]

Take A Loss To Live: 9/1/2021

What are we But particles Floating on the winds of the Universe

So small-minded That we fail To ever see the big picture

Instead

We kill each other Because our meaningless ideas May happen to differ

Meanwhile Our planet turns against us

This Mother we call Earth Is gearing up To shed our existence

Her temperature is climbing And in turn Her seas are rising Her weather grows stronger

And yet We argue Over the color of the sky

While those with the power to change Can't see past the dollar signs in their eyes

So make no mistake Their corporate greed alone Will be the reason All of humanity dies

Eventually

[unnaturalmind]

Venting...Srsly what the fuck is wrong with this state. Couldn't concentrate the entire time I was in my seat I was so frustrated and angry.

[unnaturalmind]

I'm cooking again No longer just meal prep I'm back in the heat Back to the real stress

But this time I'm sober Facing a real test

Just wake me when it's over

When I'm done with school When I get a job I like

One where I don't Come home Smelling like shit every night

[unnaturalmind]

Staying Positively Negative

I shower in doubt And bathe in self-loathing

The hot water feels so good Until I remember what I’m doing

“You dumb bitch” I tell myself

“Fuck! I have to stop doing this” I think As I cut the water off

My brain wanders As I reach for a towel And I try to steer it Toward positive thoughts

I navigate Through a forest Of whispering failures As I dry myself

I reach a clearing in my mind Where I tell myself “This won’t all be for nothing   Just stay positive”

I hang the towel And turn to get dressed When I stub my toe While screaming “FUCK!”

I punch the wall But hit a stud I break a few fingers Begin screaming louder As I fall to my back Screaming at the ceiling

Laying naked on the floor I smile Thinking about what a fucking idiot I am As I get to my feet and turn my laptop on

[unnaturalmind]

Acutely Aware of My Sobriety

Ten dry months And it’d be a bold faced lie If I were to say I haven’t missed it once Because I damn sure have

There have been nights Passed by with tears in my eyes Where I’ve craved the numbness But I stayed in And held out

It’s a rough life right now And this clarity is unforgiving But it would only be worse With a constant poison Entering my mouth

With these hands I still reach It’s only what I grab That has changed

For now I grab pen I grab pad

Because without these A Boy surely goes Mad

[unnaturalmind]

How do you determine The lifespan of a country?

Where on the progress bar Are we?

How much more of the Trump Era Must we suffer through?

How much more Can we take?

How long will it be Until Republicans awake And realize what has happened While they’ve all been Metaphorically asleep But realistically enabling?

For the sake of our future I hope we are in the 90 percents Of the progress bar Concerning Trump’s Era And not the fucking forties

Please Vote

For every step forward that we took We awoke In the Dark heart of America A people who will stop at nothing To drag us backward

They must be shown That their ideals Are not shared by real Americans

[unnaturalmind]

I feel as if I’ve been corked

My leaks Temporarily sealed But my feelings Are welling up Like the knot in my stomach And the ball in my throat

The pressure Inside this bottle of mine Is building It’s uncomfortable

Tears sit just behind my eyes Watching Waiting To be set free

At a moments notice They can be unleashed So they sit there Watching In cahoots with my feelings Just waiting To be released

Why do I fight them? Why do I hold them back When I know The moment I let them go I’ll be at ease

[unnaturalmind]

Trespasser

I miss simplicity The days of old Familiar stressors Before Covid Before Trump Back when Bubble Boy And Idiocracy Were still fiction Back when a president’s words Used to promote Unity Instead of Division When racists and bigots Didn’t run the country Back when the president’s goals Involved plans and a vision Instead of plans To avoid prison

I miss Unity In the American States I wish we could skip forward Go straight to brighter days But in order to do so We have to be brave We have to put on our masks We must leave the safety Of our homes And we must let our votes be known

[unnaturalmind]

fuck, man.