Beanies & Babies @unorthodoxtongue - Tumblr Blog

I always find it funny when people write bdsm erotica where the dom is really aggressive and demanding and the sub is all sweet and innocent when I feel like more often than not the dynamic is a sub who asks for the most insane, out of pocket, dangerous, borderline illegal, unhinged shit and a dom who's like "hmmm ok yeah maybe we can scale that back a bit"

direwoman-first-blood

im going to ballgag you and then you're going to rob the federal reserve

derinthescarletpescatarian

Love the concept of scissors. Someone was like, “a knife is clumsy for this task, what if I used TWO knives?” and they were right.

vidicus3

Specifically, two knives strapped together. Which is even more unhinged.

derinthescarletpescatarian

Oh no the knives are definitely hinged, that’s intrinsic to their function.

rorschachisgay

fags are allowed to say dyke and dykes are allowed to say fag in the same way that youre allowed to run up and slap your sibling on the back of the head

aethersquid

I fully agree with the sentiment but also seeing this reblogged onto my dash by my sibling feels like a warning.

bewareofchickens-deactivated202

sweet-bitsy

I had no idea that chickens could?? float?? or swim??? I don’t know why I’ve never thought of chickens as buoyant. I never picture chickens anywhere near water. what else have I been missing

taopopop

C'est les swimming poules

pandas-and-squirrels

Reblogging for the pun and the pun alone

mousidy

*doing your tarot reading*

oh. two of worms. it means worms are coming to your house.. interpret that how you will..

mxdotpng

everyone always asks "where did you get that information" and "why are you covered in blood" but nobody ever asks how was the time loop was the time loop fun it looked fun

This is art

NICE

If I caption this “I can haz cheezburger?” do you think the fabric of time and space will rip and we’ll be flung violently back into our own past?

geothebio

in my five years delivering pizza, these are definitely the best delivery instructions i’ve ever gotten

lakevida

starts talking about my emotional state with 2 degrees of abstraction instead of 7 and the sniper across the street who i pay to keep me in line fires a warning shot thru my little hoop earring

pxrsurface

Everyone please look at my coworker’s cat that she posted to our work chat

artwheat

mixtapetraxx

Bond girls are out. Blanc girls (underprivileged women who screw over rich assholes with the help of this silly detective) are in.

may-darling

I find it absolutely hilarious that after playing the popularised sexy man “James Bond” for what feels like a millennium, Daniel Craig has only now reached tumblr sexy man status by playing a funky southern gay detective with a hubby that bakes sour bread. If this is not the most on brand tumblr thing I don’t know what is