10 Things that Don't Suck
This is an exercise that I've used a lot when in the miserable throes of depression and anxiety to give myself a little bit of a foothold to stop from going fully over the edge, but it works equally well as a general grounding exercise, something to help combat mild to moderate stress, and a chance to deliberately practice forming positive associations in your brain to things that make you happy. I've found that for me it works best outside, but if that's not an option available to you, you can try it inside, too. If you're able, doing this exercise while sitting by an open window, in a quiet spot in the sun, or while taking a little walk around the block is great.
Here's how it goes: sit up, step outside, or start to walk, as you are able. Focus on your senses. Look around, listen to what noises you can hear, pay attention to how your body feels and what you are touching with your skin. You may want to take a couple of deep, slow breaths at this time, or do something else to help you get to a place that is calm and present. You can focus on one sense at a time or bounce between them as different things come to your awareness. Do whatever is comfortable for you.
While you're paying attention to your surroundings like this, try to find ten things in your immediate environment that don't suck. This could be an observation of how warm the sunlight feels, it could be noticing a piece of birch bark on the ground, it could be appreciating the way that the frost glitters in your window. Bonus points if you find at least one thing that sparks genuine happiness somewhere inside of you, but if you're not finding that, neutrality is just fine. For each thing you find, spend a moment observing it, noticing what it looks like or sounds like or how it smells, what you like about it and how it makes you feel. Keep count of each thing in your head or out loud or on your fingers, whatever is easiest for you.
If you can't find ten things, five is a good place to start. If you can't find five things one is a good place to start. Oftentimes, by the time I get to ten, I've gotten into the groove of the game and continue to notice new not-sucky things around me. If that's the case, you can absolutely challenge yourself to hit fifteen or twenty. If not, you can stop.
For example, here’s my list from my lunch break today:
New buds on a nearby tree
A butterfly that landed on the grass a couple feet from me
Fresh spinach in my sandwich
White flowers on a nearby bush
A white bird soaring overhead
Dappled shadows on the street
A person walking past with a really fluffy dog
It doesn't have to be anything big or super impactful. You don't have to feel any particular way about what you find, only to notice.
I’ve found this helpful for me, because popularly advertised exercises like gratitude journaling really tend to hit me in the guilt and the religious trauma, and this does a lot of the same work of helping you ground yourself in the moment and practice training your brain to hold on to positive memories alongside the bad, without dismissing the bad things or necessarily attributing the good to a higher power.
As always, ymmv, and feel free to adjust or discard my advice as needed. The important thing is finding a practice that works for you.
