DYRIMIFY

"3 things: inability to speak, inability to be silent and solitude. What everyone's had to make the best of." Independent OC sideblog.

[jaimelannistre-archived]

                           i n  t h e  s t o r y  t h e y  w i l l  w r i t e  s o m e d a y

[jaimelannistre-archived]

- t h e n  l e t ’ s  t r y  o u r  v e r y  b e s t  t o  f a k e  i t  ; bastille

[loyalsuggestion]

I feel like an off-brand of the person I once was

[uruloceli]

His last comment struck a nerve within Eli, one he hadn’t even realized was so sensitive. Had he truly been lucky to not been taken as he suggested? Thoughts to his childhood and the blame that had been shifted to him though he had done nothing flickered in his mind, twisting his face a bit to form a more disgusted expression which only lasted for a moment. That sort of thinking was bad, he told himself, especially in front of a stranger like this. The last thing he really wanted was some sorcerer speaking of blood rituals to know anything about his past. He softly shook his head to himself and shrugged, looking back at the peculiar man with a grin. He wasn’t so sure.

“I guess I’m just a lucky guy, Surigo,” he mumbled in a low tone, just loud enough for the two of them to hear him.

Did he wish to know more after that? He wasn’t entirely sure. His curiosity said yes, but he still had that strange feeling in his stomach. Questions had surfaced in his mind as the man spoke, but the moment his mind drifted elsewhere, he lost them. A part of him was surprised Surigo would tell him anything, based on how he was speaking of his.. Companions? Acquaintances? Why would he offer this information to Eli, who was clearly just another human who wandered someplace he probably shouldn’t have been? There was no real use in being overly suspicious now, showing it might put both of them on an edge they didn’t want to be on. His grin faded as he relaxed himself once again, looking up at the sky as if expecting something to happen.

“Lucky enough to wander here and learn about all this stuff, that is. Interesting to learn about another world so close to my own, when I had no idea it even existed. I wonder what else there is out here that I’m so oblivious to… Magic is truly an amazing thing, isn’t it?” His tone was once again more chipper, feigning blissful ignorance for the moment. He casually chuckled to himself, sticking his hands in his pockets as he finally thought of one question he could ask again.

“So, then.. You must not lose much by telling me about all this, huh? Or perhaps there’s something you gain? Regardless, I’m thankful to you for answering all my questions. I imagine it would get bothersome talking to someone like me for too long.” A pause. “I can’t really say I’m not interested in learning more, but I also can’t help but wonder how far my curiosity might take me before I’m in, er. Too deep, as they say.”

[unsaider-blog]

Yes, yes --- again that kind of talk was the sort of dead giveaway that most magic users would be looking out for in their grand pursuits of new fodder or familiars. The logic behind that reasoning was simple: beings that knew little about something wouldn’t so soon become disillusioned with magic and therefore would have good things to say about those aspects that they took almost completely for granted. Just wait till they’d fallen into the hands of some forceful sod, prone to sending them out to bear witness to all the uglier sides of sorcery. Then they’d reconsider this earlier statement.   Well, he already said it himself. Failing to run into mages of that kind was the work of luck being on Eli’s side throughout his multiple journeys, no doubt about it. To the extent that he seemed not to possess the same level of apprehension that other humans would show upon getting a earful of that knowledge, though? The gall to not even be a little bit nervous was either abhorrent or admirable. Someone else might even think he was itching to get into trouble for his...versatility. The fact that they were within academy campus might be the only reason others who’d already singled him out as someone completely different weren’t approaching with blatantly malicious purpose. 

Who knew? Schools did have their uses after all. 

“I dunno, to be real frank. We work with it all the time so it’s more part and parcel of our lives than anything amazing. Here magic is either weak or strong, useful or redundant. Whoever’s been to your realm would feel the same way with cars and computers.” 

The next statement was somewhat jarring to hear right afterwards, however, and in surprise he couldn’t resist giving out a short chortle. 

“You’ve learnt too much just by being here, buddy, believe me. You can’t possibly do that much worse. Anyway...”

Here he chose to sweep a hand through his hair, clearly influenced by the relaxed atmosphere to some degree. It wasn’t all that annoying, speaking to a human -- might be the fact that this one hadn’t begun to display the signs of arrogance and know-all attitude that everyone rolled their eyes at, or that was the experience of having crossed over for himself into their own world telling him this was a decent chap.

“As long as I don’t lose anything particularly valuable, I have loads of time to kill. Don’t sweat it. I’ve gone way past needing to scrounge for cheats, so nobody’s getting involved in any fatal rituals this afternoon, at least with me. Don’t ask me to take you places though. I’ve gotten too many demerit points this one year alone.”  

[uruloceli]

Yellow eyes were locked onto the man as he spoke, as Eli made sure to pay attention to what he was saying, as well as his body language. Perhaps he was simply unsettled by the way he spoke of humans, but something did feel off. The longer Eli stayed here, the stronger the feeling in his gut felt. But for now, he set it aside in his mind, not wanting to ignore it entirely, but not wanting to completely forget it either.

“Oh… How interesting. I never knew. Then again, I suppose I never really had the chance to learn about it from someone with experience. Hah..” The thought that in the past he might have encountered a familiar like what Surigo spoke of was bizarre to him. He tried to think back to more memorable strange folk who he had come in contact with, curious if they had anything in common. Maybe the signs that someone had been a familiar were more obvious than he ever realized…? But then again, wouldn’t that be silly? Certainly not every sorcerer would be the same, and neither would the affects they have on their familiars.

“…Then, what benefits would different sorts of familiars offer a sorcerer? Humans are annoying, correct..? But you mentioned their blood. Would they simply be used for that, until they could no longer offer you any more of their blood, or is there other things they could offer?” Another thought. “What would blood be good for, anyway? You guys don’t actually use it for.. Weird.. Rituals, do you? Because that sounds so stereotypical, like something a parent would tell their child to scare them into not doing something. Pffft.”

Honestly, something about his suggestion made him want to laugh. The thought that any of those old silly stories he would hear from adults when he was young were real struck him as comical, in an ironic sort of way. He never feared such things while he was young because he never thought they were true, and to think that they would be…! He bit his lip to avoid laughing and looked away, hoping he hadn’t offended the man beside him at the thought he decided to verbalize. 

“Er. F-Forgive me if that came across as rude at all, it’s just, when I was young I wasn’t afraid of those sorts of things, but perhaps I should have been? Haha.” That was a bit awkward.

[unsaider-blog]

Not really awkward as much as this was an eye opener with how the human being was taking in all this information; perhaps Surigo needn’t have worried about the consequences of running his mouth like that after all. If anything he might even give this guy a good scare, since it seemed increasingly apparent that having run with the wrong crowd had removed that healthy sense of apprehension so often present in that genus. Nothing too bad about that, right? He definitely looked like he could take a few more revelations about the world of magic users that humans were so blithely shut out from until they had their uses, anyway - why look at him like that otherwise? If he didn’t know any better he’d even have wondered if Eli was trying to get himself recruited into his ranks.

That wouldn’t be too surprising either, even if that were the case. Curiosity always ended up doing in one and all, so he supposed. At least the fellow was being polite about things.  

“Well, you’d be hard pressed to find someone who’d willingly impart all that stuff you want to know. People with experience typically have everything to lose by that point; one of their worst fears would obviously be to get set up by one of their own underlings. If you start imparting information willy-nilly you’ll expose yourself to the risk of them finding out about weak points in general, eventually -- whatever they are. I’ll bet everything I got that no one else you know from this point on will tell you anything new and useful.”

That next comment was quite amusing, however; he couldn’t keep a straight face so shortly after this turn of subject. More evidence that the company this person kept either were as ingenuous as he was, or that they didn’t feel the need to disclose.

“I had a friend once -...” he began, placing his fingertips together as though a picture of pensiveness. “ - who did specialize in blood rituals, actually. Human blood proved to be extremely useful, but the humans themselves were too when they were alive, so she was careful not to kill them every time she needed to drain it. Humans who’ve been brainwashed or...maneuvered...can do a great job roping others in for the supply. Exactly what she wanted. As you might imagine, she took a long time to oust from the academy.”

A meaningful pause, a strange glint in his eyes.

“But to answer your question; some familiars have innate abilities, and some steal from their previous gaffers if they have the means, mainly through imbibing their blood. Blood to me is never important, but other people with other magical talents will have their own uses for it. You, eh...maybe some fear suits you? Luckily you weren’t spirited away as a kid by any of us, I guess. You can imagine your fate if so...”

[with-nbhd]

This time I gotta know, where did my daddy go?

The NBHD - Daddy Issues 

[uruloceli]

Familiar..? Wasn’t that sort of position reserved for… Other sorts of people? Eli was assuming this guy had already labeled him as an average human, so what sort of sorcerers did he know? His brow furrowed at the thought.. Maybe Eli had the wrong idea of what it meant to be a familiar? Perhaps he should clarify… If Surigo deemed him worthy enough to explain, that is.

“Oh, many sorts.. I had gotten close with an illusionist once, that was something else. She was a quiet sort, but very powerful. There was another who had some sort of strange void-like powers, moved around in the shadows, kind of a weak willed guy, though. Didn’t get very far because of it. And another who could actually turn his skin into metal, that was just neat. Quite handy sometimes, but I still wonder if he could melt. There was also a kid I met who could talk to animals. That was a sweet sight, if you ask me. It was all magic to me, though I’m not really sure what defines a ‘sorcerer’.”

Thinking back on it, Eli recalled many more magic users he met in his time traveling, but he wouldn’t bring them up. He had still been hung up on the whole familiar thing. as it lingered in his mind the entire time he spoke. 

“…So then, what exactly makes a sorcerer, well, a sorcerer? And the same for familiars, I thought those were just some kind of spirit you gained to help you with whatever you needed?… If you don’t mind me asking, that is. I’m simply curious. I don’t want to think one thing when in reality I’m completely wrong, you know?”

He got a strange feeling just then. A slight shiver ran down his spine as he looked up at the man, waiting for his answer. Was he in danger..? Perhaps it was simply the mention of sorcerers in the area being out for blood, which would imply he was no different. Unless he was..? It was hard to get a good read on this guy, for some reason. 

No matter. Eli would treat him as he would anyone else, until he gave him a reason not to.

[unsaider-blog]

That...wasn’t something he had ever considered before, and a starkly pallid brow furrowed as he steeped himself in a rare instance of serious thought. What really made a sorcerer qualify as one; those who had proven their worth like everyone alive to graduate had done, or those who’d made a name for themselves the moment they embarked on their respective journeys? Or was it much simpler and only to do with the fact that they could technically live and be around in the realms of the living much longer than an average human being without the gift of magic? It seemed just then that perhaps he hadn’t been as well-versed in travel as he’d previously thought, nor had any of his then-friends that now were off elsewhere and wanting little more to do with him. How else would these humans with such attributes escape their watchful eye - in the various times that each and every one of them were basically scrambling to expand their familiar ranks? 

Then again, none of them were particularly known for humility. There weren’t any rules stating that humans were off-limits to these magic users, but most of these upstart acolytes operated unlike himself -- that entire genus consisted of beings that reacted so poorly to the unknown it bordered on a level of inconvenience once their lack of any contributing factor to a standoff had been considered -- those individuals wouldn’t even dream of recruiting one of them without some serious thinking, let alone just allow anyone to join up. Essentially the idea was that whoever wanted to subject themselves to the irregularities of the world they knew could do so given permission; he wondered inwardly if those folks the other guy spoke of were as wishy-washy as him, or had other plans in mind for befriending the human. There were countless sorcerers who took up the guise of benevolence simply to lure the hapless humans into fatal ends for the sake of strengthening their magic.  Regardless, it wasn’t his style to answer with some falsehood when he didn’t absolutely need to - so he simply shrugged, canting his head to the side for added emphasis. 

“I never knew myself. Maybe the notorious ones who purposely get found out by leaving their impact are called sorcerers and the rest are just shunted whether they have anything special in hand? But I’ve had all manner of familiars before, including humans. It doesn’t really matter to me; I never thought too much about having more than I could keep track of. They come along and I let them do their thing, I guess. Don’t necessarily need to help in any way, though obviously that’s a selling point for others. But not just spirits. Even a postman in your kind of city could’ve been a familiar of some witch desperate to gain an advantage.” 

So essentially the strong ones scoffed, and the weaker ones took in. That was the general idea, really. And he did like to keep people believing that he was a dud wizard.

“You know what they say: can’t learn a thing you think you know. That’s why we grow out of humans; you lot always think you know everything already. Very irritating. At least blood’s a common key ingredient...” 

[with-nbhd]

// Wiped Out //

[seoingukie]

[with-nbhd]

But what if it’s you, and it wasn’t me?

[uruloceli]

An eyebrow was raised in response to his answers, as Eli slowly nodded and looked back ahead, where he had been looking before. It didn’t take a genius to pick up on that… Hostility? Not quite, but it wasn’t the most positive of feelings. It didn’t help that he was sensitive to it to begin with. Though.. Talk of sorcerers… Was that the sort of area he was in?

“Funny you should say that, actually.. I spend most of my time traveling anymore. Part of why I don’t mind getting lost here and there. It certainly makes things exciting.” 

Well, he wasn’t a sorcerer, no. He had his own abilities, but he never thought of them as ‘magic’ and never even thought to learn more about it. Wasn’t magic something to be learned rather than obtained? Though, wouldn’t that be something! Attending a fancy school just to learn more about whatever abilities he gained in his life. There’s no way he would have ever been able to afford something like that, though. It was a little late by now.  Still, more questions popped up in his mind. Was his ability some sort of magic? And was it safe to assume this fellow was a sorcerer with his own abilities, as well? Surely so, since he mentioned he graduated from here. He was probably very strong by now.

Regardless, a snicker escaped him as he shook his head, folding his legs in so he could rest his arms on his knees.

“I’m certainly no sorcerer, no. I’ve met a few in my life, though. I’m not inexperienced with the idea of magic.” A slight shift in his own tone at the word alone, but by no means hostile. “I’d ask more, but from the sounds of it, you’d rather not talk about it with a stranger. Which is understandable, I can’t blame you, Surigo.”

[unsaider-blog]

Now didn’t that just sound like him in his younger days? Especially at the mention of yearning for excitement; he might even have parroted the exact same words to his familiars decades ago while he was still a member of the academy behind him -- back when settling down in one spot and working at snail’s pace up the ranks within it would’ve taken way too much effort and attention span to contend with if not for his own personal devoirs. Duties to certain persons that he couldn’t easily speak about unless he wished to gouge his emotional wounds. Honestly, enough people who heard about what had befallen him were jumping at the chance to kick him while he was down; no need at all to stack onto his own pain for no other purpose than to indulge someone else’s curiosity, and no benefit in revealing too much of his past experiences unless he was itching for one more person to laugh at his plummet from grace. 

Right, right. Anyway, simply touch on this subject matter and leave it as it is. Just how he was going to operate from this point onward if he wanted to protect himself without seeming like he was trying to be blatantly rude. He did talk like he was somewhat an understanding individual, after all - what point was there in being so obvious about his fragile state of mind? 

Not that there was much consequence in aggravating an ordinary person he’d met little more than minutes ago for his own comfort, though. Now that he thought about it, that snicker certainly didn’t sit well with him. 

...could it be that this Eli was actually fucking with him right now? Looking down on him while pretending to be civil? 

“That’s actually pretty neat. Wonder what kind of magic users you came across, because where I come from over there, everyone’s out for blood if they can get away with it. No one ever ask you to be their familiar? Because that’s the first thing they ask whenever, almost every single time. Expansion of circle and that kind of deal.” 

[anemickid]

[theliteraryjournals]

You run the risk of losing anyone who is worth spending time with…

Nick Hornby, High Fidelity (via theliteraryjournals)

[perniciouslyrics-blog]

All In My Head - Tori Kelly

[delustive]

[renisons-archive-blog]

idfc // blackbear

[perniciouslyrics-blog]

#icanteven - The Neighbourhood