[endurae]

[smolfairy-deactivated20150914]

dere you go

[oursidae]

ey

ey you lil shits

lets just talk about this here cookie recipe

this shit

is 

the

BOMB

HOLY SHIT

I JUST FINISHED THIS AND WOW IT TASTES AMAZING

YES

WONDERFUL

1000000/10 WOULD ATE AGAIN

[smolfairy-deactivated20150914]

yAy

[post-and-out]

For magic improvements on thing that is already perfect:

Use one spoon white sugar, and one spoon brown if you have it.

After microwave, before noms, add vanilla ice cream.

\o/

[fan-troll]

salt is a flavour enhancer, add just a tiny dash, not enough to make it salty.

[goldpilot22]

Because I love you all.

[thelighthousewatcher]

Ive been craving cookies, so thank you even though I have no chocolate chips

[quailfence]

[Image transcript: How to make a cookie in a mug. No. 1 cure for sadness or hunger 10/10 would recommend. By SassyCelery

Step 1: get mug. Easy Every1 (everyone) have mug. Colour don’t matter. Size don’t matter. Jus (just) get mug

Step 2: get tablespoon. If u don’t know what a tablespoon is. It’s the big one that you can only just fit in your mouth. Butter / margarine, It don’t matter. Get 1 tablespoon of this. Put in mug. Microwave for like 30secs til butter is like water. Melty melty

2 spoons of this (sugar). Put in mug. (Pst not drugs jst (just) sugar. Cookies not cocaine kids). Dis is vanilla extract/essence (no difference k). Careful. Only 3 drops (milked from fairies). You can add salt here but ew why would you

Now you must separate the egg yolk. Real science going on here watch out

Get egg

Get knife

Stand over sink or bowl

Hit egg firmly in centre w knife

Let a bit of see-through stuff go

Keep yellow stuff

Put egg apart keeping yolk in one side, and let white go

Move yellow into other side, pouring away white

Feel like your on masterchef

Get rid of as much white as poss (possible)

Put your beautiful extracted yolk into mug

Aquire fork and mix in punk-rock fashion (keeping the stuff in the mug)

Basic peasant flour. 4 spoons of this. Put in mug. Mix intensely once more. Recipe says 2 spoons of these (chocolate chips). Recipe lies. Put as many as you can fit. Add anything else you can think of eg marshmallows, oreos etc.

Microwave for 40-60 seconds. Do a dance while waiting. IDK. Eat. Ur welcome. End transcript.]

@a-captions-blog

[the-tumblur-searchbar]

Can’t wait to try this!

[chess-rook]

The ingredients are diagonal from me why must I suffer

[originalgoodname]

take two turns to get them

[chess-rook]

They’ll capture me though

[kaity--did]

Tonight on My Husband Doesn’t Know How to Baby Talk

“Ma’am, are you aware that these, right here are your hands? They belong to you. And you get to decide what happens with them. So when you use these hands to pull your binky out of your mouth that is not necessarily a dad problem. I’ll fix it obviously i just want you to acknowledge it’s not my fault”

[kaity--did]

Husband: ma’am it has been reported lately that you do in fact have tiny little toes and a little button nose, do you care to comment?

Penny Rose: Babbles in Baby

Husband: RIVETING!

[kaity--did]

Penny Rose: Does that High Pitched Baby Yell ™️

Husband: Let it out friend! Feel your feelings!

[kaity--did]

Me: Hehehe silly husband doesn’t know how to do baby talk

All of tumblr collectively at my husband:

[kaity--did]

Penny Rose: does a sad baby scream

Husband: you don’t even have to understand taxes yet! I can explain them but you’ve got several years before that’s relevant!

Penny Rose: wide eyes, staring at her father, almost intrigued

Husband: I lied to you Penny your mother does our taxes. Do you want to know about arbitration? I know all about arbitration.

[kaity--did]

THE MAN THE MYTH THE LEGEND

yes he just walks around the house and talks to her like this

[kaity--did]

Penny Rose: Cooing as twinkle twinkle little star plays

Husband: Now Penny there is a lot of misinformation out there in the world and I hate to tell you this but the moon is in fact not made of cheese. That is a conspiracy theory pushed by Big Dairy.

????

[kaity--did]

Husband: Holds Penny Rose up to her reflection in the microwave

Husband: you see Penny Rose! This was the M. Night Shyamalan twist! You were mirror baby all along!

[kaity--did]

FYI this is how you get a Deals Warlock if you were wondering

[justplainsalty]

I have follow up questions:

1) Did you participate in baby talk to make up for your husband's deficit, or did you also opt to speak to the Deals Warlock like a very tiny adult from babyhood?

1a) If you participated in baby talk with Penny, did she ever do any code switching with you while she was learning to talk (I mean, babyish talk back to you but fully formed adult like you share with us to Lawyer Dad)?

[kaity--did]

I didn't baby talk with her very much either! I think I squealed at her more than my husband did.

Something funny that has happened is that while she formally calls me Mama when she's answering me in passing she does call me "My Darling Love" and I don't know for sure but I think it's because I call her and her father "my loves" and her father calls me and her "darlings" and she's created a mash up 😂

So I'll say "okay penny it's time for bed" and I'll just hear "okay my darling love!" 😂

[kaity--did]

Everyone is always so so kind on this post but I do want to warn you all that this did in fact lead to an insanely verbal child, and if you choose that life you have to commit to that life.

Penny Rose is now 5 years old and she

1. Starts talking the moment she opens her eyes to the moment she passes out at night

2. Asks, and I am not exaggerating I counted, an average of 892 questions a day

3. Does not accept "I don't know" as an answer to said questions, will usually have a follow up question as to why you don't know OR a suggestion on how we can find out together

I pay for limitless data and have 709 Google tabs open on my phone at all times

[biglawbear]

I've been following Penny the Deals Warlock for years and I think if she chooses to she would grow up to be an awe inspiring lawyer

[mellomelloid]

the sand is warm (la_marere)

[beybuniki]

supernatural's beach episode that exists in my head <3

[whimiscott4]

the type of shit you see when you tap on your mii's dream

[mfdragon]

Ok! Magical 3D model glitch tattoos GO!

I’ve decided to give my human Caine glitch patterns when he becomes emotional. Almost like his 3D model can’t handle the overstimulation and his topology starts showing.

[jetsetlariat]

eeeek

[ficyorick]

i keep thinking how HL seems to have 2 preferred types of sex: 1). i am fuckign fighting and biting you (happened with stormfront and i assume with maeve, at least from time to time) 2). im gonna sit there and let you do anything you want to me 😇 because you are so fragile and i can be good i dont wanna hurt you i can be so good (obviously im talking about madelyn)

and how butcher could unlock both of them at the same time creating the ultimate . sexperience. this is my butchlander thesis #284

[zzephyrizz]

SIREN RYLAND GRACE AU

I did a thing. Again. Uh oh.

Anyway there is a fic. I have so many scenes running in my head. Send help. Fic

[rudycooperarchives-deactivated2]

what if there was a show where every character was gay and you had the token straight guy character who acted really stereotypical and was into cars beers and women and everyone was like OH STRAIGHT LARRY YOU’RE SO FUNNY AND STRAIGHT

[bythefrickens-deactivated201208]

[bocchan]

#it’s been done

[hikari-yumi]

[aceattorneyheritageposts]

Thanks for this addition omfg that is hilarious

[t4timekeeper]

not providing the scene in question is a crime

[dikdikpronouncedxylophone]

[unyieldingsilence]

‎

[beybuniki]

let's save mama

[beybuniki]

always on the road always looking for mom and dad

[stiffyck]

When your bestie gonna die if you don’t come back for him

[aweshua]

they are all blind 🤩🤩🤩

wee little headcanon under thge cut..👉👈

I have a little headcanon for Gaz that she naturally does have black hair and a cowlick and is more or less identical to Dib (they are both clones of Membrane) but she dyes and styles her hair differently because she does not want to look like her brother. Also she does need glasses but does not wear them for the aforementioned reason. okay that was my headcanon

[playingwiththesquirrels]

[ao3commentoftheday]

For anyone who hasn't seen them before, Hidden Search Operators are handy tricks you can use when you're either searching or filtering AO3.

summary: string is a generic way of explaining that you can search AO3 for a specific word that appears in a summary. You can do this from the search bar in the header, from the Any Field box at the top of the Advanced Search form, or from the Search Within Results box at the bottom of the filter menu.

Examples:

summary: Bruce

summary: "Bruce Banner"

summary: Bruce OR summary: Banner OR summary: Hulk

You need to put quotation marks around your search term if it is more than one word. The quotes make sure that the site searches for those two words together.

The other two operators listed work best in the Search Within Results box.

expected_number_of_chapters: 1 will return results where every fic has only 1 chapter currently posted.

You can use expected_number_of_chapters: -1 if you want results where every fic has more than 1 chapter currently posted.

otp:true will return results where there is only 1 relationship tag on the fic. If you want results where there are 2+ relationship tags (and no fics with only 1 relationship tag) then you can use otp:false

[katri-24]

This page is so beautiful and honestly I hope it reaches and helps any new people that are just starting out on Ao3 because it's helping me and I’ve been using the site for 5+ years now

[theres-pansies]

Because poor Dr. Grace was never meant to be up there with a dead crew and no memories :,)

Based on this post by @the-immortal-restless