unspeakableaus

AU's. If you use an idea, credit back to the account.

[harrietvane]

[zombeesknees]

#confirmed: rick o'connell will rock back and forth in a hug for comfort  #her character development from 1 to 2 is my fave but what they did with rick is some nice work  #taking the character from 1 who’s the guy who says ‘i dunno i was about to be hanged [kissing you] seemed like a good idea at the time’  #it would seem like the easy and hollywood way to make him all wise-cracking about his married life  #like ‘oh-ho the little woman’s at it again - amirite fellas?’ eye-rolling sorts of unease with his domestic situation  #or chafing at not being a free agent adventurer or something  #or worse- try to create some sort of narrative from conflict between them that needs to be ‘resolved’  #but instead they’re like WHAT IF HE’S RIDE-OR-DIE DEVOTED TO EVIE EVERY MINUTE  #WHAT IF THE ONLY EYE ROLLING HE DOES IS WANTING TO HAVE FIVE GD MINUTES ALONE AND QUIET WITH HIS WIFE  #WHAT IF HE’S CASUALLY DECLARING HIS ‘IF ANYTHING EVER HAPPENED TO YOU’ COMMITMENT WITH EASE  #WHAT IF RICK/EVIE MAINTAIN THE PUSH-PULL FRIENDLY ANTAGONISM OF MOVIE 1 BUT MAKE IT A GOOD THING  #‘OH ALRIGHT WE’LL DO IT YOUR WAY’ ‘HONEY YOU’RE NOT A SUBTLE MAN’  #LIKE IT WAS PART OF THEIR ONGOING AND SUPPORTIVE DYNAMIC  #AND THEY BOTH TAKE JUST ABOUT EVERY OPPORTUNITY TO MUTUALLY JUMP INTO EACH OTHERS ARMS  #AND MAKE OUT JUST FOR FUNSIES  #AFTER 10 YEARS AND A KID  #well done chaps - good development (and one of my fave examples of the Battle Couple trope)  #say it with me now: relationship development =/= ‘now add conflict’  #relationship development can also mean a myriad of other situations - like dealing with an external conflict TOGETHER

[violent-darts]

It’s totally consistent with him in movie 1, too. Like it’s so clear that his entire experience of her is “….oh wow this woman. She’s so amazing. She just gets more amazing. Oh, oh wow. Maybe like I could stay with her. How do I make her like me. I KNOW I WILL STEAL HER A SET OF ARCHEOLOGY TOOLS. SHE LOVES ARCHEOLOGY. YEAH GO RICK.”

And by movie 2 it’s obvious he’s spent the past however many years living a life of “omg am married. TO EVIE. I have a wife. EVIE IS MY WIFE. OH JESUS I HAVE A KID. :D :D I HAVE A FAMILY AND A LIFE. WITH EVIE. WHO IS MY WIFE.” 

Interspersed with “why is my wife trying to get us killed. Why is my son trying to get us killed. Or at least himself killed. JONATHAN WHAT YOU DO. Evie no. Evie love of my life no. EVIE. ALEX!! OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE! JONATHAN!!! Why does everyone I love have the self-preservation instincts of SOMETHING THAT HAS NO SELF-PRESERVATION INSTINCTS?!”  

[unspeakableaus]

PETER PAN AU

Captain Hook never cared a whit about Peter Pan. How much harm could a flying red-headed boy do?

Fairies, however, were worth their weight in gold.

He wanted Tinkerbell, and even if he had to scour all of Neverland himself, he was going to get her.

[unspeakableaus]

HADES/PERSEPHONE AU

“Miss Cooper?” The bubbly woman said, holding out an embossed business card between two fingers.

Betty didn’t take it. Betty didn’t do anything but stare at the decadent card stamped with lilting gold letters. How had they found her here?

Her eyes dipped from left to right, quickly scanning the faces of the people passing by. No one seemed to pay any heed to the pair; or slowed down to inspect the exact shade of blonde the woman perched on the front step had. Being the reincarnation of one of the lesser goddesses was both a blessing and a curse. If anyone had taken the time to notice her hair, they would have commented on how lucky she was it was almost the exact shade as Demeter’s. Unbeknownst to them that Demeter was her mother, and the absolute tyrant known as Alice Cooper.

No one had even heard of Persephone. In the shadow of Demeter, what use was the goddess of Spring?

Yet here she stood, in the face of an official looking messenger, staring at what she would bet on every petal of every flower she’d every touched was an invitation.

She forced a smile, “You must be looking for my mother.”

The woman’s demeanor turned serious as she straightened her spine. “No Miss, I have very clear instructions from Hades, that I am to give this to you.”

[unspeakableaus]

ALPHA/OMEGA AU

Betty had been off all day. Not that she considered herself particularly easy going in her normal day to day life, not anymore at least. But she had to say that her normal anxiety was nothing compared to being woken up in the middle of the night by the Southside’s Alpha.

The Alpha.

She didn’t know what he wanted, because like the fool she was, she hadn’t waited around to find out. The minute she registered his scent, what he was, she’d done the only thing she could think to do and ran.

The only experience she’d had with an Alpha was the secondhand interaction with Hiram through his daughter Veronica.

Alpha’s were dangerous, and someone like her, Omega or not, was so far below his notice it wasn’t even funny.

What could he possibly want with her?

[unspeakableaus]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29805381/chapters/73327266

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[unspeakableaus]

NANNY AU

Betty was content with her life. As an elementary school teacher in her hometown, she loved being able to mold the young minds of the next generation. It was her little way fo trying to make the world a better place. Until Jughead Jones showed up at her doorstep, soaking wet and needing a favor.

Jughead was her first boyfriend. Her first everything, but when they went away to college they’d grown apart and before she knew it, more years had passed since they’d been separated then they had been together.

Now he was an extremely successful author, who’d unexpectedly gotten custody of his little sister after his father’s arrest, and he needed someone he could trust to take care of her.

The money was too good to pass up, and she’d never been any good at saying no to Jughead. She’d just have to remind herself she was there for Jellybean and Jellybean alone, no matter what history Betty had with the girl’s brother.

[unspeakableaus]

MAFIA AU

Jughead is finally getting the recognition he's been working so hard for. He may be the son of the Don, but he never thought he was going to be given the Southside's crown on a silver platter. It's only after he manages to pull of an impossible heist, that he gets promoted to Capo.

There's a few rules:

1. Family first.

2. Self second.

3. And never interfere with the other Capo's business.

Even if that business is blonde and every bit as tempting as she looks.

[unspeakableaus]

ROMEO & JULIET AU

“For never was a story of more woe than this of Juliet and her Romeo.”

[unspeakableaus]

ANGEL/DEMON AU

It was just like Jughead to want something he couldnt have.

[unspeakableaus]

ALPHA/OMEGA AU

Betty had been off all day. Not that she considered herself particularly easy going in her normal day to day life, not anymore at least. But she had to say that her normal anxiety was nothing compared to being woken up in the middle of the night by the Southside’s Alpha.

The Alpha.

She didn’t know what he wanted, because like the fool she was, she hadn’t waited around to find out. The minute she registered his scent, what he was, she’d done the only thing she could think to do and ran.

The only experience she’d had with an Alpha was the secondhand interaction with Hiram through his daughter Veronica.

Alpha’s were dangerous, and someone like her, Omega or not, was so far below his notice it wasn’t even funny.

What could he possibly want with her?

[unspeakableaus]

PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN AU

“Jughead. How many times must I tell you to call me Elizabeth?”

“At least once more, Miss Cooper. As always.”

[unspeakableaus]

SLEEPY HOLLOW AU

In 1799, young Police Detective Forsythe Pendleton Jones III is sent from New York City to a small town called Sleepy Hollow to investigate a series of murders. The townspeople are convinced that the murders are the work of a deadly Hessian Horseman, whose head had been chopped off, and who rides at night, claiming skulls until his own is returned to him. As he delves deeper into the woods and the secrets of the town, Jones realizes the mysterious Horseman is being controlled by someone in a sinister plot to kill the most suitable men in the village.

But who would mastermind such an evil plot to take so many lives? And what would they seek to gain?

He hoped that they answer lie anywhere than with the woman he’d fallen in love with and who would gain most from the sequence of horrid deaths. 

Elizabeth Cooper.

[unspeakableaus]

SERIAL KILLER AU

Websters dictionary defines a monster as an imaginary creature that is typically large, ugly, and frightening. Betty Cooper was none of those things. She'd been in prison for three years, convicted on circumstantial evidence as her father's, the infamous and illusive Black Hood's accomplice.

Till that day, she'd never said a word about her charges, never granted a single interview to anyone. Until today, today she told the authorities she'd speak to one person and one person alone, him. Jughead Jones, failed author and mediocre journalist.

It was a surprise to be sure. Despite serving on the same paper in high school and having a mutual friend, he thought Betty didn't even knew he was alive. She was even the object of his misplaced affections when he was young, but that was before. Before she was sitting across from him in a sterile beige room, covered in chains, in an orange jumpsuit.

He tried to steady his hands as he set up his equipment.

"How are you Jughead?"

He swallowed thickly. "Okay."

There was a heavy pause, before she spoke again. "You're not going to ask me how I am?"

He instantly recognized his mistake, and rushed to remedy it. "Oh, of course..."

"Don't," she said firmly. He immediately fell silent, marveling how someone could be so terrifying and so beautiful in the same breath . "I'm sure you're wondering why you're here."

"Yes," he said softly.

Her eyes locked with his, and he found it impossible to look away. Even when her chains rattled as she lifted her hands and placed them on the table.

They stayed like that, immobile, in the quiet, until a smile he would only describe as evil spread across her face.

"We're going to help each, you and I."

[unspeakableaus]

ONCE UPON A TIME AU

Betty Cooper, certified orphan and private investigator, had always been alone. Until a strange man with one hand and an impossible story knocked on her door. Apparently she was a princess, and her parents were fairytale character's trapped in a town in Maine called Storybrooke.

She could easily have the man committed, but the investigator in her can't help but want to know more. With a lot of apprehension, she decides to go with him.

Hey, as far as crazy guys go, at least he's hot.

[unspeakableaus]

XMEN AU

Jughead Jones, a self proclaimed loner, is a rare type of mutant that can both generate and wield an element. He prefers to fly below the radar, but when he's contacted by Xavier's School for Gifted Youngster's about a young orphan who can't control their elemental powers, he's compelled to help.

He shows up to the school relectantly, but his spirits immediately improve upon meeting one of the teachers, a mutant who can absorb other's energies, feelings, and powers.

Betty is beautiful, and devoted to both the children and fighting against those who seek to destroy both mutant-kind, and those who harbor them. With that kind of enthusiasm, Jughead couldn't help but join the fight.

[unspeakableaus]

THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO AU

Forsythe Pendleton Jones III, a handsome, promising young sailor skillfully docks the ship, the Pharaon, in Marseilles after it’s captain died en route home. As a reward, Forsythe (known as Jughead by his men), is promised a captainship, but before he can claim his new post and be married to his fiancé Elizabeth, a conspiracy of three jealous and unsavory men arrange for him to be seized and secretly imprisoned in solitary confinement in the infamous Chateau d’lf.

But the years of imprisonment aren’t completely fruitless. With the help of an imprisoned priest, he learns to read, to write, to fight, and the location of a long forgotten island where a treasure the likes of which had never been seen was said to be hidden. After the priest’s horrific death, Jughead manages to escape, but only to be picked up by a ship full of smugglers, whom he joins until he can locate the island where the long lost treasure is hidden. When he finally discovers it, he is staggered by the immensity of its wealth.

Those who’d betrayed him had flourished into some of the most wealthy and respected men in France. His once fiancé had married the man who claimed to be his best friend. Archie Andrews was a shell of his father, but because of his title and his last name was still considered among the elite. Hiram Lodge had control of the entire French Justice system, and his former shipmate Malachi now owned the shipping company they used to work for.

Jughead emerges into society again as the handsome and mysterious Count of Monte Cristo.

He has one goal: to get his revenge against them all.

[unspeakableaus]

MERMAID AU

Jughead had never fit in among his peers. As the only son of King FP, it was expected that he would take over rule of Atlantica. He had other plans. Big plans. He wanted to learn, and write and do anything other than be some personalityless crown on top and equally disdained throne.

After his father cruelly denounced his love of human artifacts in front of the entire Kingdom, he decided his best option was to run away. But there was no where under the sea his father couldn't find him. The only option he had was to go on land, and he found an uncommon ally in the Outcast Sea Witch, Penny Peabody.

She gave him legs, a chance, and he wasn't sure, but he thought she might have put him directly in the path of a beautiful princess as well. All out of the goodness of her heart, she claimed.

She'd lied.

Within weeks Atlantica was undersiege, and Jughead had to choose whether to stay with the love of his life on land, or return to the sea to save the lives of his people.

[unspeakableaus]

THE PRINCESS BRIDE AU

"Life is pain, highness. Anyone who tells you differently is selling something."