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@unstableinlove
The Fair
November 4th. we went to the fair and I had a blast. we got a free caricature, explored an exotic petting zoo, rode all the rides, kissed at the top of the ferris wheel, and won two goldfish. we rode a bunch spinny rides in a row and I ended up throwing up several times. mid puke, bent over a trashcan, I told Cole how terrible of an idea it would be to have a first date there, he just shrugged, said, “I’d still ask for a second.” and continued to rub my back.
homecoming
October 7th. his homecoming was moved from 7pm to 4pm due to a potential incoming hurricane that never actually ended up showing up. he took me to Don’s, then we went to the dance. after the dance it was still only 6 so he took me to get ice cream. my mom had asked me to house sit for her that night since she wasn’t going to be in town and we have dogs, so he took me back there after. on the way I pulled at least 100 bobby pins out of my hair. about halfway through, he picked up the cup I was putting them in and shook it with wide eyes, mouth open. I wish I had a picture of his face when he saw how many I’d pulled out at the end. when we got home I immediately removed all the makeup and put on my comfy clothes for our planned movie night. he’d never seen Pulp Fiction and I was not okay with that so we were going to watch it that night. the first movie we watched was Baby Driver. great movie. after it was over I went to go put Pulp Fiction on and he just looked at me and started smiling. he kept starting to say something but stopped himself like he didn’t know how to say it. eventually he got himself together and said, “I’ve never felt anything like this before. I just don’t know. I think I’m in love with you, I love you Jaya” I thought my chest was going to burst. for almost a whole month, every time we had an intimate moment and there was silence I had a mantra on repeat in my head. “say it, say it, say it, say it”. finally he’d done it. I’d known for almost a month but it felt like years before he finally said it to me. I told him that I loved him too and kissed him. we didn’t watch Pulp Fiction that night, he wouldn’t have actually paid attention.
September 30th
this was the Saturday before his homecoming. he still hadn’t asked me. we got up early to get breakfast together. I’d spent about three weeks now writing down all the things I could think of that I loved about him in a notebook. I’d stayed up until 3am that night so I could finish it and give it to him that day. I’m bad with words in person but I wanted him to understand how I felt. after I gave it to him, he finally asked me to homecoming. we went back to his house where he washed his truck, his mom’s van, and my car. I sat and watched with his dog in my lap and his dad talking to me. this was the first time I ever went to his house and only the second time I’d met his parents, which would normally stress me out to the max, but something about him. I wasn’t stressed at all, I was completely relaxed. we then went to the discount Dillards to get a dress and a suit because neither of us were prepared. we spent an hour going through dresses, making fun of the terrible ones and me constantly joking that this dress was the ONE when it was outrageously awful. he held my picks while I went through all the racks. I ended up taking about ten into the dressing room, only one fit. it was the one he was hoping I would pick the whole time. after we both found our stuff and we’d eaten food, we went back to my dorm and took a nap, wrapped up in each other. once we woke up, he found my high quality camera and insisted on taking at least a hundred pictures of me, making me blush the entire time and looking at me like I was the only thing that mattered in the world. it was such a good day.
September 17th
this was the day I realized I loved him. it was Sunday and I hadn’t seen him all week, except for an hour on that Friday. I asked him if he was still going to be around after work so I could at least kiss him since I knew he had plans that day and couldn’t hang out with me. he told me he probably wasn’t and I got upset but said ok. five minutes later I sent a joking text saying something like “replacement smooches will not be provided for today since you’re running out of here”. he did not take it as a joke and got really mad and accused me of trying to make him feel bad for having a life. so naturally I got furious and told him that it was a joke and that I was sorry for wanting to spend time with him and show him affection, I told him that next time I would think before I did that. I told him that it was impossible for me to be happy in a relationship in which I only see the person for an hour a week especially when I crave to see them 24/7. at that point I was so angry I couldn’t focus on anything around me except getting to my car without talking to anyone. I got into my car and just laid my head on my steering wheel trying to breath and I heard a knock on my window. I looked up and I was shocked to see it was him, I thought for sure he’d left already. he got in, looked at me, then asked me if I knew why he was there. I told him I didn’t so he said, “I’m here because you’re my number one priority. nothing else, you’re more important.” I started crying and it was then that I knew I loved him
two months
he brought me back to the waffle house where we went on our first date. no signs were stolen and I definitely got kissed that night.
July 9th
this was the day he actually asked me to be his girlfriend. at this point he’d already taken an ass beating for me so what was I going to do, say no? absolutely not.
the psycho ex
as I mentioned before, Cole was semi good friends with my psycho ex and I knew this moment was coming but that didn’t mean I was happy about it. Cole finally felt that it was time for him to tell my ex that we’d been going on dates and things were looking promising. I honestly expected him to try and fight Cole so when he ended up leaving in tears instead I was shocked and I hate to say this, but relieved. not even two hours later I get a screenshot from Cole of a text from my ex that said “you know where I stay, come get your one” with his current location attached. long story short, he ended up attacking Cole from behind at work the next day. he was fired and Cole ended up going home early that day, but not before leaving me a note under my windshield wiper that gave me the biggest smile ever. I still have the note pinned to my sun visor.
the rooftop
fast forward a couple of dates and countless phone calls later and I took him on what I still consider to be my all time favorite memory with him. I dragged him all around downtown looking for something known as glass beach that was way cooler in my head than it actually ended up being when I finally found it again. I knew I couldn’t let that be the end of the night after I’d raved and raved about how cool the place I was going to bring him was, so I decided to take him to this really special spot that an old friend had shown me. I’d been waiting to take anyone there because I didn’t want it to be a generic cool place I brought everyone I was interested in to, but it felt like the right time. I made him follow me on foot for a mile and a half with no clue where we were going until finally we arrived at a parking garage right in the middle of downtown. I remember how let down he looked when I told him we were here. I grabbed his hand and pulled him behind me to the elevator and hit the top floor. the cool thing about this parking garage is that it doubled as a police station. so you’d enter the station on the ground floor and once you were on the top of the parking garage, the police station kept going up and up. I directed him to the ladder on the side of this building and we climbed to the top. at initial glance, the top is underwhelming to say the least. it's only about 20X20 and the two foot barrier walls were covered in graffiti. however, it’s once you get closer to the edge that you realize just how amazing of a spot it is. we were so high up, we could see all of the lit up “skyscrapers” that made up downtown plus beyond that. it was a Saturday so downtown was absolutely alive. there was a cover band playing at the bar across from the parking garage that we could hear perfectly from our perch. I ended up sitting in his lap with our foreheads touching and we just talked and listened to the music. I ended up asking him if he wanted to switch spots because I had this amazing view of the city while he didn’t have that great of a view to which he told me that he had the best view of anyone in the world and I just melted. I completely realize how disgustingly cliché that moment was but damn did it make my chest tight. the entire atmosphere of that night was absolutely perfect. we were so high up and so far from everyone else that it felt like we’d created this little world separate from the world everyone else was living in and all that mattered was us.
our first kiss
he kissed me on our second date. we were swinging in his eno at 10 at night in a closed park. my hair was soaking wet but he still let me put my head on his chest while we looked up at the stars.
the call
after work the next day around 6:30, he called me. we stayed on the phone until 2:00am
the first date
pulled in my driveway after hours of traveling back home from Arkansas and immediately started getting ready for my date. he took me to Waffle House then we drove around for hours showing each other our music. we ended up stealing a street sign. we went up to it and tried to inspect it to see what tools we were going to need to remove it. Cole was sort of gripping the post for balance when he looked at me with shock all over his face, I was about to ask him what was wrong when I watched him pull the entire sign out of the ground and start aggressively whispering, “GO GO GO”. when we went to say our goodbyes, I stared at him intensely in the way that screams kiss me! but it was only returned with a confused “what?”. I did not get kissed that night. he did however follow up with an “I had an amazing time” text so there was still hope.
a week of waiting
so of course we snapped back and forth the entire time I was in the Dominican. I was dropping some OBVIOUS hints left and right but he just seemed so oblivious it hurt. finally the day I got back from the Dominican we were having a conversation and I ended up mentioning how I barely knew him to which he responded that I could get to know him. me being the gracious and charming person that I am.. said “that was the plan.” how eloquent, am I right? he then asked me how I planned to do that and I told him I’d get to know him the same way I get to know everybody, by asking them tons of kind of personal questions. then as a genius after thought, I said, “unless you have another idea” I could not have given him a better opportunity I mean come on, but he still didn’t bite. at that point I gave up and just resigned myself to stop trying to drop hints. literally five minutes later he asked me on our first date (he later told me he wanted it to be his idea not mine and that’s why he didn’t respond to my blaring signals lame af). the only problem with this is that I was leaving the next morning bright and early for Arkansas so we had to schedule the date for the next week when I got back. queue a week of flustered distractedness from the nature I was there for and being caught between feelings of anxiously wanting to go home IMMEDIATLY but also never wanting to leave the beautiful landscapes of Arkansas.
my vacation
I took about three weeks off of work that summer. I spent two weeks in the Dominican Republic for my senior trip and I spent one week hiking and other such activities in Arkansas with my more outdoorsy friends. while in the Dominican, I get a text from my boss, who was also a really close friend, in which she informed me that her man was HER man. now her man was a close friend of mine who happened to be best friends with Cole and I guess she had taken our friendship to be more than that? I have no clue, but I proceeded to tell her that I was drooling over Cole and was not interested in her man as anything more than someone to cut up with. apparently my word wasn’t good enough for her though because she attempted to go through Cole’s phone to see if what I was saying was true. one problem... avoiding someone means not having them on social medias and definitely not letting them in on how fond I am of them. the clueless Cole went to her boyfriend and asked him why the hell she was trying to go through his phone and of course he told him that she thought I might like him and wanted proof. my cover was completely blown (I had no idea any of this took place until he told me months later). the next day he DMd me “Amosc” like the poet he is and of course because I have no self control, I did.
avoiding him
I knew that I was stupidly attracted to this boy who managed to keep a carefree, badass, mysterious aura about him at all times, and I also knew that dating a subordinate hadn’t worked out for me in the past (the psycho ex). it was just a cherry on the top that I knew this boy was semi good friends with my ex, so I came to the conclusion that I needed to just avoid him, and that’s exactly what I did... for a month.
the second time we met
fast forward a year and I’m back working at the same waterpark as the previous summer. I’d broken up with my boyfriend about six months prior after he tried to hit me with a car. despite my best efforts to avoid any and all contact with said psycho ex, he still ended up coming to work for the same waterpark as me. on the brightside, so did Cole. I was walking with my boss and we walked into the breakroom and there he was, sitting at the picnic tables with a uniform and an orientation booklet. now I hadn't had any contact with him after that one night where he’d told me I looked like ice cream but I still somehow instantly recognized him. immediately, without even thinking I blurted out, “now YOU‘RE going to look like neapolitan ice cream!” of course I failed to realize that he was so drunk that night that he did not in fact remember ever saying that to me or even who I was so all I did was embarrass myself and confuse the boy.
the first time we met
we met about a year before we actually started dating. I went to this party with my boyfriend at the time and keep in mind that I worked at a waterpark so I had some seriously gnarly tanlines. anyway we get to this party and there’s this one guy who’s already so drunk he can barely function. guess who that is... I ended up sitting next to him and he looks down at my leg with wide eyes, mouth open then he just started poking my leg in astonishment until finally he looked up at me and said, “you look like Neapolitan ice cream.”