Excited to hear your thoughts on when life gives you tangerines
Honestly, it's overwhelming to try and talk about it. I kind of wish I watched it in real time because it would've been easier to articulate my thoughts episode by episode. It is such a beautiful, meticulous drama, it's the type of drama that got me into kdramas, it's the type of show that inspires me to write.
There are so many themes in this drama to choose from: patriarchy, classism, intergenerational cycles, romantic love, familial love, parental relationships, politics, karma, community, education, coming-of-age and the fact that you're in a constant state of coming-of-age, but I think what I'll start with is the exploration of grief.
I found the difference between how Ae-sun mourns her mother and mourns her son to be done so well and I think it's because I initially didn't trust the drama and the drama consistently proved me wrong by including details and dialogue that address the loss of Dong-myeong. Every time I thought that the writing would move on from that death, the way that a lesser show would've, where there would maybe be a casual mention near the end, the drama would bring Dong-myeong back, whether it would be Gwan-sik thinking of his son while he looks at boys who are the age he would've been
or Ae-sun leaving a note for him when they sell their house so he'll know where to go.
And so I was like, yes, Dong-myeong and Gwang-rye both haunt the narrative in mirrored ways; it's not just that Ae-sun grieves her mother verbally
and grieves her son silently, it's how the narrative reflects that in things like how there are flashbacks of her time with her mom
but we hardly ever see flashbacks of her time (or Gwan-sik's time) with her son while both events inform who she is (and they are) on a fundamental level but it would be too painful to have Dong-myeong consciously ever-present, when it was, this was how they were
so she and Gwan-sik move on and so the show moves on except they don't, because how could they really? Their silence about their shared grief is as loud as Ae-sun's bittersweet musings and dreams about her mother.
There is also so much to say about how Ae-sun and Gwan-swik raised Geum-myeong and it's all well-done and interesting, but for me personally, what was the most interesting about their relationship to their daughter was more so how through Ae-sun not being able to bear teaching her daughter how to do house work, how Gwan-sik helped instill in her a sense of self-love and self-respect, how through all of that, there was an examination of gender roles and breaking archaic traditions,
and doing your best to ensure your children don't have to suffer what you have suffered, so like, the larger, existential themes.
When it comes to the interpersonal, Guen-myeong's feelings as a daughter were more intriguing for me, maybe because while I'm not the eldest child, I'm the only child who was raised by a single teenage mother and so I really resonated with how the show explored the concept of guilt and affection and appreciation and resentment and feeling pressure and feeling gratitude and feeling/being at times ungrateful while also feeling/being appreciative, and hating the thoughts in your head while also being aware enough to know, especially the older you get, what they've done to sacrifice for you, which at times, can lead back to feelings of guilt etc.
and how all of those dualities can be wrapped up together in this complex feeling that is ultimately love to your parents.
For me, Ae-Sun and Gwan-sik's relationship to Eun-myeong was a more interesting exploration of who they were as parents than their relationship Guen-myeong and I was so glad we got those episodes to really showcase this because the drama does such a good job in making us fall in love with these characters, especially Ae-sun and Gwan-sik and their love for each other and their love for their children, and they're just wonderful, selfless people and they still get it wrong sometimes. Seeing how they unintentionally dismiss Eun-myeong and also how they directly compare him to Ae-sun
and how every time we kind of see him interact with them, he's getting negative attention. Ae-sun admits to the aunties that he embarrasses her,
but ultimately, we see how as parents, they love their children the same,
how they sacrifice for the two of them the same,
how they worry about the two of them the same -- I could barely breathe when Ae-sun runs to the fishing boat in a full breakdown because she's sick with worry that he'll die at sea
and I think I was interested in seeing their interpersonal dynamic as parents with him more because it was an examination of when you make unintentional mistakes with very profound consequences despite trying your best not to do the very thing you did but your mistakes not taking away from sincerity. Guen-myeong is like an illustration in intentionality and Eun-myeong is an illustration in unintentionality.
I also really enjoyed how they handled Guen-myeong's first love; not necessarily the flash forward where we see him with his mother regretting his choice and not necessarily when we see him see her in a wedding dress but their breakup I think was beautifully done. Like, this broke me
The drama doesn't go out of its way to villainize Yeong-bum
while also unapologetically and objectively showing us why the two of them would never work and how spineless he can be and how he passively contributes to what can be oppressive norms and traditions by having no back bone
and yet it doesn't diminish that they had a genuine love for each other while also not shackling Guen-myeong to the concept of a first love and allowing her to move on and have a fulfilling life with a husband who gets her and understands her and prioritizes her because I loved their relationship and we don't get much screentime with them but they're perfect for each other
So, those are my thoughts off the top of my head! Happy to discuss further.
