I try so hard and I'm never the one.

Caroline Grace Forbes. ❝ —I just… am I shallow? I don’t mean to be… I want to be deep like the abyss deep.❞ Event Planner, Constance Billard, Seventeen ❝ — That’s true. I really am { s h a l l o w } Infact, I’m worse than shallow. I’m a kiddie pool. It’s true, I am.❞ do you ever feel like there’s not a person in the world that loves you?

[stefnslvatore]

"Care," he breathed, quietly. He knew he needed to be steady with her. Stefan rarely hid behind the bush when it came to Caroline. He was always upfront with her, and seldom lied to her. It was only in extreme cases that Stefan would hide things from Caroline. Much like the last time they met, at the hospital. However, this was different. He didn’t want her to lie, and with the way she replied, he knew she needed to talk about it. "What happened?" he asked, in a way that demanded the truth with the utmost sincerity.

[uppereastsideforbes]

"I don't want to say, not.. not because it's bad or anything just so stupid. How the hell do I just screw everything up?" She asked in a pleading tone, feeling her body flood with months of suppressed emotions. This was the first time Caroline had allowed doubt to creep in. The first time she'd considered that maybe there was no winning Matt back or usurping Blair's throne. She could feel herself clapping her hands nervously as she tried to compose herself. What had her mother always told her? Turn from porcelain to ivory to steel. She wasn't girly little Caroline anymore and losing it in front of Stefan wasn't an option. "I screwed it all up, Stefan." She admitted hopelessly, closing her eyes as she steadied her breaths. "Matt- I lost Matt. I took the most compassionate person in the world and made him think I was a monster and now Vicki has no problem belting me for giving her the attitude she's always given me." She rambled nervously, trying to restrain her feelings. "It's all my fault. I'm stupid. I lost everything and I can't even blame anyone else."

[stefnslvatore]

"You’ll be my work out buddy?" he asked, turning her way with an obviously raised brow. "I don’t know, Care, I can get pretty crazy." There was a hint of humor in his tone, but he was more or less serious about it. Stefan had always worked out on his own. It was a stress reliever, and he couldn’t help but be concerned for Caroline if they ever went on a hike. It was always just him, and him alone. After coming to a halt, Stefan let Caroline pay for the cab fair. Between them, he didn’t mind if she paid. Stepping out of the vehicle, he adjusted his pants, placing his hands on his hips as he overlooked the restaurant. "Burgers," he stated, turning to her. "Perfection," he smiled cheekily, nodding his head for them to head inside.

[uppereastsideforbes]

"Of course," she responded brightly. "That's if you want me too, I don't want to step on your toes but if you ever feel like talking or... not talking while we do some pushups or hiking, I'm only ever a phone call away. I'm surprisingly resilient." Caroline smiled. Once out beside, she noticed how nice it was to see him smiling. She made a promise in that moment to do try to help him do that more often. "I'm sort of awesome." She teased, leading the way inside. She held up two fingers and the pair were thankfully seated quickly. "Water jug, please. Last thing you guys need is him passing out." She said the staff as they passed with a grin and a determined eye. "Feeling a little better?"

[jennyofbrooklyn]

Jenny had never been to Caroline’s house, so it was no surprise that when she showed up at her door, the blonde’s mom seemed skeptical to let her in. Even her mom seemed surprised that someone from Brooklyn would have somehow found their niche in the A-List group that was headed by Blair Waldorf, but Jenny wasn’t in the mood to explain. Jenny had been texting Caroline the past few days to no avail. She had been slightly hurt when Caroline had failed to call her for their previously arranged dinner plans, but when she had texted her yesterday asking if Caroline wanted to go shopping to no reply, Jenny began to get worried. Caroline never turned down an opportunity to shop. Thus, she found herself on the threshold to Caroline door, which was already ajar. She took a step in, only to be greeted with a tone that told her she wasn’t welcome. “Caroline, hey. I was just- I was getting worr- Oh my god. Care, what happened to you?” Jenny took a few more steps inside, noticing the deep scratch along the other girl’s cheek. “Are you okay?”

[uppereastsideforbes]

Caroline used every ounce of strength she had to not lash out at the girl. Logically Caroline knew it wasn't Jenny's fault but Brooklyn was enough to fit the crime right about now. "I don't know what's wrong with people in this town, do they not get that an off phone means leave me alone?" She barked sharply, throwing her hands up as she took calming breaths. "Sorry, Little J. I'm just really not fit for company right now. And I'm fine. It's just some scratches."

[sparksonfire]

"Yeah, I heard as much. I’ve only ran into her a few times and can tell she’s crazy as hell." Clearing her throat, Katherine tried her best to pull off Elena. "Uh—sure. I mean, I don’t see what’s wrong with what I do wear.. but New York’s different. Katherine does have an amazing sense of style.” Damn straight she does. 

[uppereastsideforbes]

"She is, seriously. I bet she'd smother half the town, me included, with a pillow if she could get away with it." Caroline laughed playfully before eyeing her to-do list. "It's fine if you're going to a mall in the middle of nowhere. But it's not UES, Elena. Not even close. She's got good taste, too dark for you though."

[aidencarver]

Oh yeah, I’m sure it’s boredom. Now you want to know more about me, ay? Well if you want to know, I came out to America for school. Education system may suck compared to back home, but it’s a lot more fun out here than it is there.

[uppereastsideforbes]

You really came all the way here because you wanted to party? That seems like a seriously long term arrangement just to be a frat boy.

[stefnslvatore]

He paused for a second. The bruise didn’t seem too harsh, but enough for it come from a slap. So, in a mere second, his intense worry lessened. It might’ve been from another girl, and for that, he was thankful it wasn’t from someone else. He stayed silent, taking a few steps closer. Caressing her cheek, Stefan pursed his lips into a small frown. “Are you okay?” he asked.

[uppereastsideforbes]

Caroline held her breath for a moment as she stepped closer with worried eyes. God she felt like such an idiot. Getting everyone so worried about the problems that she made in her own head. "I'm so stupid." She answered, blinking up at him. Caroline was reminded all at once why Stefan was so high on her priority list. The concern in his eyes making it clear that he cared. "It doesn't hurt, I'm just stupid."

[piperlaine-blog]

"I won’t doubt that. There was one guy a minute ago that uh.. that gave me a look that said he wouldn’t be afraid to do so. But the subway guy—really?" Soft laughter escaped her lips, before smiling brightly at the blonde who had been the first to help her. Taking her hand and shaking it gently, "Piper Laine. It’s so lovely to meet a friendly face. Yeah, figures.. pity I left my phone at my apartment. Uh—sure, actually that’d be great!" 

[uppereastsideforbes]

Caroline smiled at the girls little tale and soft laugh. She liked the girl already. Which was unusual seeing Caroline took a while to warm up to just about anybody. The poor girl that tried to join her biology group in freshman year with Bonnie learnt that lesson the hard way when Caroline spent three weeks pushing her water bottle off the desk and blaming the girl, forcing the teacher to move her. "Piper. Hey I used to love Charmed." Caroline chimed brightly before pointing up the street. "We're just going to head this way, okay? Where did you come from anyways?"

[stefnslvatore]

"Is she now?" he responded, crossing his arms as he sank himself into the car seat. "It’s fine," he added between laughs, shaking his head. "I… was just trying to distract myself from other things. I’m learning from my mistakes this time, so, hopefully…. you won’t find me in an emergency room again." It wasn’t a promise, but Stefan treated it like one. Not only to Caroline, but to himself. If he was going to drown himself in his own self pity, he didn’t need to involve other people. It was too much of a hassle. Lifting his chin, Stefan sat up a bit towards the driver. "How much longer do we have?" he asked, resting himself back in place.

[uppereastsideforbes]

Caroline perked up in her seat, practically swivelled in his direction as she chuckled with him. "Yes, she is. You don't stay a cheery cheer leader for too long if they can't throw you into the air." She listened to him with a nod, trying not to frown. "Just as long as your okay. And hey, if you need a work out buddy. I'll keep you company, that way you won't over do it. I'll warn you though, I'm not much of a spotter." She offered, just wanting to help. The thing most people never noticed about Caroline was that she was at heart, a deeply nurturing person. She wanted to help, even if she went about it in a bratty way. Stefan was just one of the few people that let her. After a few more minutes, the pair arrived outside the burger joint, JG Melon. She might've gone for French if she didn't think he could use some comfort food. Handing the cabbie her card, she punched in her pin before hopping out coming to stand beside Stefan on the curb. "Decent enough?"

[stefnslvatore]

Stefan’s eyes trailed over her face, briefly seeing catching a glimpse of the dark mark. He didn’t want to alarm her by rushing to her side and begging for answers— he wasn’t exactly sure if she’d fess up that way. But above all else, he was concerned. Clearly, Caroline was not sick. She seemed well, despite seeming a tad tired. There was something going on, and he had a feeling it had something to do with the mark on her face. Slowly, Stefan made his way in, closing the door behind him. “Caroline,” he called softly. “Can you turn around for me?” he asked, walking up behind her. 

[uppereastsideforbes]

Caroline felt a small sigh bubble out of her lips as she heard him close the door, his footsteps getting closer. She wanted to say no but how childish could she be to stare at a wall after he'd come to see her? "Fine. Seriously, I'm fine. It doesn't even hurt." She muttered, rolling her eyes at herself as she turned meet his gaze. It wasn't the fact she'd been hit that was getting her down or that it still stung. It was just a hit. People got hit all the time. But Vicki would never have laid a hand on her if she was still with Matt. Would he even care anymore? She didn't want to know.

[stefnslvatore]

"You never know about Angels," he smiled, smugly. "Something about those wings…" Stefan trailed off, shaking his head in her direction. He then pursed his lips, turning to look out the window. Stefan trusted Caroline, of course he did. But… Stefan didn’t like showing her the side of him. That ugly side that came out when he drank too much. He wanted to tell her, but he didn’t know how— or if he should. “I just… I wasn’t eating properly, exercised too much… you know, that kind of thing.”

[uppereastsideforbes]

"Don't talk smack about the wings." She chuckled back, waggling a disapproving finger at him. The cab driver let out a little laugh at their playful squabble but there was a sudden uneasiness at Stefan's hesitation. She brushed it aside for now. It was Stefan's choice to tell her the full story. "Should I give you my nutritionists number? She's  life saver. And I say that from a professional view and not just my girl crush." Her tone was gentle, holding no judgement in her friendly grin, something that wasn't typically from the admittedly shallow blonde.

[stefnslvatore]

It had been a couple days since Stefan had seen Caroline. He thought he’d be seeing her at school, but after she didn’t show up for a couple of days, he started getting worried. That day, after school, Stefan took a detour and headed to Caroline’s house. He had met her mother once, at a school event, so he was surprised to see that she remembered him, leading him towards Caroline’s room the minute he stepped foot in their home. Slowly, Stefan cracked the door open with Caroline in plain sight, sitting in front of a mirror. “—Sorry, it’s just— I missed you at school today,” he answered, leaning against the doorway. “Wanted to check up on you.”

[uppereastsideforbes]

Caroline got to her feet awkwardly, her arms folding across her chest suddenly extremely self conscious to be standing around in her pyjama's she hadn't left all day. Of course Stefan had to be the one to see her looking like a total mess. "It's fine." She breathed, turning her face away from him. She didn't want to see the ugly mark. She couldn't believe she'd let Donovan get away with it. It was almost more embarrassing than the mark itself. "Yeah   sorry about that... I had a... cold." She muttered. "You don't have to stand in the door like that. Make yourself at home." She murmured. Caroline knew why her mother had let Stefan in. It was some attempt for Caroline to fess up what happened to her. An assistant chief was hardly the type to take the excuse 'I walked into a pole'. "I think Bonnie was picking up my homework for me anyways."

[paulwesleysdaily]

[stefnslvatore]

"You know what this sounds like, Caroline? Like you’ve planned this entire thing to get me to buy you lunch. Even the dehydration," he joked, giving her a slight nudge. 1291, 3rd Ave… Stefan didn’t know whether or not it was the lack of food in his system, but he had no idea where they were headed. But, he was sure he’d be pleasantly surprised—- Caroline was taking him there, after all.

[uppereastsideforbes]

She gasped at the accusation with a look of mock hurt. "How could you ever suggest that I, actual angel, Caroline Forbes is a schemer. I'm wounded." She laughed, feeling her cheeks ache a little. The downside of Stefan time on the good days? Smiling pains. "So, do I get to know how you ended up in there or is this one of those 'shut up, Caroline' things?" She quizzed lightly.

[uppereastsideforbes]

Caroline stared at the mirror with a frown on her lips. Her cheek held a dark bruise with a slice from that idiot girls ring and honestly, Caroline didn't know how to hide it. Which was probably why no one had seen her for days. The blonde had a thing with perfect. Her skin had to be perfect. Her hair had to be perfect. Her clothes, her house, her boyfriend. To have something so blatantly imperfect on her skin made her insecurities release a mighty roar. The mark on her face was a reminder that she'd lost Matt. A reminder that she was no longer "perfect". She felt sick. She jumped slightly as she noticed a person in her mirror's reflection before turning with a slight gasp. "I told my mom not to let anyone in." She frowned.

[badgirldonovan]

Vicki felt like someone knocked the wind out of her and the rest? Well, she just saw deep seeded red. How dare this blonde insult her, tell her what her little brother’s life was, and to exile her out of it. Vicki knew, deep down, that everything Caroline said was true. If not Caroline, it would be some beautiful New York Upper East Side girl with a dashing smile that would take her little brother away from her and then she’d be so alone that places she didn’t know could ache would tear her apart—that is, if she hadn’t torn herself apart already. Feeling the rage creep up into her throat, Vicki let her actions speak louder than words. Stepping up to her, Vicki threw a solid punch to her pretty, perfect face, the anger she had no doubt extending into the force of her fist as she got closer to her.

"Don’t you ever speak to me like that again, you neurotic, wannabe waste of air bitch.” Vicki let the venomous words sink into Caroline’s ears, like grisly teeth, as if she were tearing her apart. “The day my brother ends up with you is the day your head spins around twice, which actually, might be sooner than you think, considering I might very well do it myself and break your tiny little neck. Are we crystal clear here?”

[uppereastsideforbes]

Caroline fell under the force of the blow, catching herself on her hands. Her ears rung loudly, head spinning sickeningly and she'd be lying to say that the blow didn't hurt. She could feel the cut in her cheek from one of Vicki's rings and the tight feeling under her eye that let her know it was definitely going to bruise. She wanted to hit the girl back with everything she had when she got to her feet, but she didn't. With tearing behind her eyes from the pain she wiped the blood from her cheek with a wince. "Get out of here." Her voice so calm and collected she wasn't even sure it was her own as her insides fought to claw the girls eyes out. But Caroline Forbes would not be reduced to a girl fight on the street. She wasn't scared. The worst Vicki could do was hit her again and she was already standing. "You belong in Brooklyn with Matt. And the only reason I'm not pressing charges is for him. I actually care about him and I know he doesn't have the money to bail you out and he's too kind to let you rot. So go. This is the last warning I'm giving you because Matt or no Matt... You only get to do that once."

[stefnslvatore]

Stefan laughed, watching as the blonde hailed a cab. You can always count on Caroline. As the cab came to view, Stefan nodded, smiling as he followed her commands. “Yeah, yeah. Pick on the weaklings, Caroline. Real mature,” he teased right back, sitting down on the other side of the car. Putting his seat belt on, he crossed his arms, turning to her to see what else she had to say. “Any idea where we’re heading?”

[uppereastsideforbes]

Caroline slid into the cab beside Stefan before glancing at him. "I'm a beacon of maturity." She said with a dead pan expression before chuckling at herself. She gave him a flat look when he asked if she knew where they were heading. When did Caroline not know? "1291, 3rd Ave." She instructed the cab driver before rolling her head to look at the younger Salvatore. "I'm almost insulted at that question, Stefan."

[rubiesareforeverx]

Ruby’s eyebrows raised in interest when she saw she’d plucked one of the blonde’s tightly wound strings, amusement pulling at the corners of her upturning lips. However, as expected, the girl didn’t say anything and once again, Ruby was left disinterested, “Haven’t got one. But clearly you have a problem of diagnosing problems.”

[uppereastsideforbes]

Caroline wanted to hit something, an unusual impulse for her. Typically she went as dar as to throw heinous words or stomp her foot but never wanting to actually hit. But this girl was a reminder of just how fickle her life really was in the end. How long had she sat with Vanessa and Matt in the grill only to be dismissed now that she and Matt were no longer an item. "And you people call us fickle." She scoffed. "Pleasure as always, Ruby."