I tried answering this earlier, but I obviously failed due to my general inability to, well, anything more complicated than log into my tumblr. Hopefully this works! (And I hope you don’t mind my second attempt at jumping onto your post).
I always love considering these types of questions, because there isn’t any real answer, and I often times find myself liking several different headcanons. But! I digress.
I definitely think there would be some major issues with any type of urban area if we followed the exact same rules as Pullman’s universe. I mean, our world just isn’t built for it, so if we got dæmons overnight, we’d all be screwed. But if dæmons were something that evolved along with us, I feel like our societies would be based around accommodating them? My dæ isn’t particularly big, at least not compared to a moose, but even a mountain lion presents some problems when you’re faced with getting around in an everyday type of crowd. Like, he would need his own seat on a plane/metro/car/whatever moving mechanical thingie.
However, I think the distance a dæmon can be from its human has a lot to do with size. My personal headcanon is that distance of separation is proportional to the size of the dæmon. A couple weeks ago I was trying to see if I could figure out some equation that would work to include weight, body length, and wingspan (or arm span) but then I remembered that I utterly suck at math and my big dreams went down the drain. Anyway, I feel like the larger the dæmon, the further away from their human they can travel. I also think that flight capabilities would impact the distance, but idk how to factor that in, though I’m sure it would give them a bigger field to work with. Still, it would be hard to get an elephant through a city without at least one person getting stepped on, so I’m not sure how that would work. I personally don’t like the idea of dæmons only being able to reach a certain size; I feel like that takes away from part of forms’ purposes and meanings if they aren’t the size they’re supposed to be. Maybe buildings and roads would be legally required to fit a minimum of, say, a draft horse? It would certainly prove to be a problem architecturally. Still, though, you could claim discrimination otherwise, so I guess large dæmons would just be made room for.
I think I talked about the idea of working dæmons forever ago, but I dunno when/where. I do feel like the idea of dæmons performing labor-intensive tasks would be considered decidedly lower-class, especially in eras/generations before the current one.
Jeez, I talk a lot. I’ll try to wrap this up quick! As for your last question about the whole brushing against dæmons thing, I do think we would be much more lax about dæmon touching than the people in Pullman’s universe. Here, it would probably be more on par with accidentally touching a stranger’s butt. It happens, it’s inappropriate if done on purpose, but otherwise it’s something mildly embarrassing but not that big of a deal. I mean, we’ve all accidentally touched some stranger’s butt without meaning to. It just happens when you’re in a crowd, and most of the time you don’t even apologize for it, you just pretend you don’t know what happened. It can hold meaning, like if you asked a partner to touch your ass, since that would be based on attraction and would be more thorough, but it can also just be a random thing that happened and you don’t even bother to tell your friend about because it literally didn’t matter in your day. But yes. Dæmons would be equal to butt-touching.
Gahhhh when I get typing I find it hard to stop. Anyhoosies, I’m hoping this is actually coherant to somebody other than me. I’ll be curious to know what your thoughts are!