“this is alex honnold, welcome to van life.” alex squints into the camera as the sun’s glare flashes into his eyes. “let’s check out my pimp ride.”
he starts by showing the audience the kitchen, the first focal point when he enteers the van. “this is a well-crafted van, it is actually really nice,” alex appreciates and points out the way his 5L water tank and the fridge both fit in perfectly. he opens the fridge to show the audience one box of blueberries and a single capri sun tucked into a corner.
he pulls a cabinet door, “these are my 3 sporks” the camera zooms into the cabinet. another cabinet door, “my 4 mugs,” the camera pans over cabinet as well. inside, there is a tin portable mug, a plastic cup, and 2 porcelain mugs, the smaller one lilac, the larger one bright blue. alex holds up the blue mug, smiling, “i usually use this one now.”
“ in this i’ve got my food,” the drawer he pulls out is a jumble of granola bars, a bag of cinnamon chex cereal clipped with a chip clip, a pack of broccoli rice, a bag of lucky charms cereal clipped with a chip clip, a sandwich baggie of colorful sprinkles, a pack of cauliflower rice, and assorted condiments.
“i’ve got a stove built in, uh hooked up to a propane tank, which is external, see the valve,” he shifts so that the camera man, phil, can film a closer look. “i even have a carbon monoxide detector in here, he points to the little plastic plane nailed onto the side of his bed, a couple inches above the floor, “all hooked up to the battery,” the camera catches a tube of burt’s bees lip balm rolling on the floor.
alex describes how he uses the tiny sink to brush his teeth and do his dishes while phil zooms in on the shower caddy sitting up next to it. “oh, that’s my shower caddy.” alex holds it up so that phil could get a better look at it. “i use this for my hair and my body” alex holds up a deep purple bottle with a coconut on it, clearly women’s shampoo. phil zooms into the “for dry hair” its label. he puts it back in its place next to a similar looking bottle, and phil zooms into the label that says “nourishing conditioner.”
alex picked up the blue toothbrush and held it up, “this is my toothbrush, it comes in really handy,” and puts it back in its designated place next to the toothpaste. the camera pans to show 2 toothbrushes, alex’s blue one and a purple one.
“having a caddy like this,” alex spins it around. “comes in really handy when i’m using the outdoor shower hooked up in the back,” the camera cuts to show a hose connected to the water tank inside duct taped to the side of the van and a collapsable curtain. in this shot, alex is outside, “the curtain detaches and folds up so i can store it inside when i’m on the rode,” alex flicked at the plasticky curtain, “i installed this a couple months ago, you never know when you need to smell good,” alex looks into the camera, “one day i woke up in the wild and thought that i’d like to shower so i pulled into a home depot and got this set up.”
the camera cuts back into the interior of the van. alex shows his ceiling cabinets. then he moves to the square foot of unused kitchen countertop. “this is my kitchen island, and my desk, and my nightstand, it’s multipurpose aspect is efficient.” phil pans across the sliver of space to catch a hair elastic and alex’s glasses. “uh, down here, underneath is my battery, it’s hooked up to the carbon monoxide detector and the solar panels.” the camera cuts to the solar panels laid out on the roof of the van. after a brief description of them from alex, phil shifts back down to film the two phone chargers plugged into the battery. “this is great,” alex pats the battery, “it powers my laptop, the camera, our phones.”
“this is where the magic happens,” alex gestures to the bed, “it’s a big bed.” phil pans over the two pillows dressed in pillow cases matching the duvet– both in a dark blue and white polka dots set. “it’s very comfortable” alex climbed in, “i have to sleep slightly angled because i am taller than the van is wide, but that’s fine” he rests on the pillow closest to the ‘nightstand’. “or we just need to snuggle,” alex shifts to pull his knees up, facing the camera.
“it also has compartments underneath it where we can get into storage” alex lifts up the crash pads used a s the mattress to lift up a board to reveal a compartment. “its all very convenient, extra space.” his winter gear can be seen in one compartment, and in another one, something fluffy and pink.
alex joked about his linoleum floor that was actually home depot’s finest and cracked another one about his privacy shield “for …yeah …no, actually it’s for camping in urban areas.”
he sits in the step up to the interior, “this is a particularly versatile place, it’s my foyer where i take my shoes off, and also my bathroom where i pee into my bottle,” phil takes a quick shot of the bottle and then pivots to the van’s door.
“i call this my peephole,” alex gestures to the window in the door, “to make sure everything’s safe at night,” phil zooms out to show the rest of the door, where there was a mirror, “and this is a mirror,” alex demonstrated fixing his hair in it by bending his knees in a squat position. below it, phil shot the hanging organizer, containing alex’s flipflops, and next to it, a significantly smaller pair, several pockets storing premade knots, then a slip of socks “my sock drawer,” alex joked. mixed in with his generic black, grey, and white socks were socks with eccentric prints, ranging from colorful stripes to polka dots and flannel.
“now let’s check out the storage in the back,” alex gets up and heads to the back of the van, “or what i like to call my garage, maybe, or my closet, not really sure which.”
“so the main thing,” alex pulls open a large drawer from under his bed, “is this drawer full of climbing stuff,” phil films a closer shot inside it, slowly capturing the assorted gear: caraboners, rope, shoes, helmet. “it’s custom sized to fit my crash pad.” “also this drawer is graded to be able to life 300 pounds, so technically i could stand in it and jump upside down,” alex leans on it, “but i’d hate to test it.”
“what’s really beautiful is these side things,” alex refers to the gaps on either side of his ‘garage’ drawer. “actually, here, get in here and look,” phil angles the camera into the compartment, “it’s custom fit, you can see my skis strapped onto the side”. actually, phil sees two pairs of skis, strapped together, among other clutter in the space. alex goes through the rest of his gear in both compartments and describes how he can get through them my lifting the panels under his bed.
phil steps back to capture a larger shot of the back of the van, where the back doors are propped open, a rope weaved to zigzag between them, held up with ‘biners, hanging on the drying contraption were 2 towels, a large alex-sized t shirt, a pair of his cargo shorts, along with a smaller tank top that was definitely not alex-sized.
alex moved on, “i got baseball mitts, incase anyone at a camp site wants to toss a ball around,” phil propped up the camera in the van to capture a shot of alex and him tossing the ball back and forth.
“i’m behind the wheel of a very powerful 4.2 litre v6. ford econoline e150. the smallest van they make,” phil zoomed into the engine. “with 170,000 miles,” and a zoom-in to the odometer, “it’s not exactly a powerful car, but it trucks along,” phil caught a clip of alex caressing the worn steering wheel. and also a shot of the two matching travel flasks in the cup holder. “that’s about all i got, i actually don’t know anything about this car. i don’t know anything about cars in general,” alex laughed, shaking his head.
“and this is my pimp sound system,” alex showed off his $55 kenwood sound system and added “and it has 2 usb ports, which is the only thing i care about”
“and this is my gym,” he held up a gripper, “i’m getting my pump on,” he added with a little shoulder shimmy. “it’s a pretty small gym, i’m working on getting more equipment.
phil captured more shots, including alex’s friend, cedar wright who had been hanging around when the film crew arrived, laying thing the bed, reading his recently published memoir– a shameless plug. and then he put the camera down and continued tossing the baseball back and forth with alex and cedar. he forgot to film alex wrapping things up and saying goodbye to the audience. whoops.
months later, when the video is released, you are both snuggled up in bed together, mr. bunny clutched in the crook of alex’s elbow. on alex’s old laptop, you giggled and pointed out some of the traces of you in the van, such as the zooming in on your lip balm, socks, and laundry. alex goes, “phil!” in a mocked betrayed tone.
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