MOVED

my new blog is @trademarkalien

[uselesskidjpeg-blog]

IMPORTANT TO THOSE WHO CARE

im moving blogs. these have gotten cluttered and i need a space for art. @trademarkalien @trademarkalien

[overpricedvodka]

(Facebook: It’s Okay To Be Childfree)

“Congratulations - you just made a conversation about salad and hamburgers about the struggle of childbirth.”

TBH Parentfriends, I’m probably tired of looking at pictures of your kid every other day, so I just hid you from my Newsfeed, because what’s important to you isn’t all that important to me. Sorry, not sorry, no one’s feelings got hurt.

But if you start mommyjacking my posts, I will 100% make you cry into your keyboard.

[koivulehma]

#how unsatisfied are these people with parenthood that they have to validate themselves like this

[keatonpatti]

[joshpeck]

No, thank you, President Pitbull.

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[oomshi]

[xeppeli]

It makes me happy knowing that we have an entire subgroup of twitter users that prepare some freshly cut pinapple for their significant other before they visit. This is very sweet.

[nevaehtyler]

I’m in awe!

Her name is Sarah Ikumu and she’s only 15 years old 😍 

[melanatedmagick]

*jaw drops*

[bio-ship]

[poorunfortunatenerds]

How dare this video not show the last note!

[nevaehtyler]

full video HERE, Tumblr doesn’t allow to upload a video that is longer than 5 minutes 😭

[kiskeya-kreyol]

Yaaass 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿 she better work !

[sixpenceee]

“A house I pass on the way to work has this sculpture in its yard. Its about 8 feet tall.”

(Source)

[geostatonary]

“HELLO NEIGHBOR STEVE, I WOULD LIKE TO INVITE YOU TO BARBEQUE ON THE EVE OF THE BLOOD MOON.  I FEEL WE GOT OFF TO A BAD START.”

“NEIGHBOR STEVE, DO YOU NOT WISH TO PARTAKE OF THE UNCLEAN FLESH-MEATS OF PIGS AND THE POLLUTED ESSENCES OF TOMATO?  PERHAPS YOU ARE A CAROLINA STYLE MAN, NEIGHBOR STEVE?”

“PUT THE GUN AWAY NEIGHBOR STEVE, YOU KNOW I SHALL ONLY RISE AGAIN WITH THE DAWNING OF THE MOON.  WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH THIS MANY TIMES.”

“LOOK AT THIS PICTURE MY SON DREW OF YOU AND CHILD TIMMY, YOUR SON.  ARE THEY NOT THE PICTURE OF PACT-MATES?  THIS COULD BE YOU AND ME, NEIGHBOR STEVE.”

“YOU MISSED THE UNHOLY NEXUS OF POWER THAT IS THE KEY TO MY CORPOREAL FORM, NEIGHBOR STEVE.  YOU WILL NEED TO RELOAD NOW, SO I WILL GO INSIDE TO MY HELL-WIFE AND PUT YOU DOWN AS A SOLID ‘MAYBE’.“

[erinnightwalker]

I have the feeling that the families get along great except for Steve. Like, the wives are baking (questionable) brownies together, the kids are playing together, Antler Guy occasionally takes Son and Timmy to school (no car, just carries them in huge swinging strides through a nexus of ungoldly sights in a swirling netherworld shortcut. Sometimes they stop for McDonalds). Hell-wife gave them a potted Audrey Jr., Steve’s wife (who I now christen Sharon) gave them a begonia.

One time Steve tries throwing holy water but all Antler Guy does is thank him, saying that no, Antler Guy isn’t Catholic but it’s the thought that counts, he is so kind to water his creeping deathshade vines regardless.

For Christmas Antler Guy gives Steve a case of ammunition. To be funny/sarcastically mean Steve gets Antler Guy the world’s most hideous Christmas sweater, singing light-up reindeer included. He immediately regrets it because not only does Antler Guy love it and wears it for several months, it will never need batteries because Antler Guy powers it with his own eldritch aura.

When they come back from a holiday to Hawaii, Steve is horrified to find out Sharon bought them matching Hawaiian shirts. He is even more horrified that his wife means it that if he doesn’t wear it he will forever sleep on the couch.

[niiv]

This is the best.

[autisticm0b-deactivated20200910]

Oh no! It’s almost as though we care about being hygienic and mentally able to get through our lives

[ithotyouknew2-deactivated201710]

“Why do millennials wash their asses?”

Cause we eatin em

[jaysroysss-deactivated20181228]

not to be a conspiracy theorist but i feel like the hets are deliberately making it harder and harder for us to find other gay people… stealing lesbian fashions… girls who sit in each other’s laps and say “girlfriend”… dudebros who play “gay chicken”… using our gay arts and songs… ironic rainbows… straights with only gay ships… it’s so bad that at this point a guy in a rainbow feather boa could get up on a stage, announce he’s gay, and suck five dicks at once and i’d still think there was a chance he’s straight… this has to be deliberate like theres a plot here y'all

[chthonic--fantasy-deactivated20]

we gotta beat em at their own game………….football is ours now

[sonisis]

Is this show even real?

[fffaggot-deactivated20251025]

[awwww-cute]

A 2 week old lemming in a spoon (Source: http://ift.tt/2lmfIsE)

[thank-you-everyone-deactivated2]

[thewickedavatar]

[struggletoast]

[sushinfood]

you found him and he is proud of you

[gigaguess-deactivated20181203]

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TURN ON THE SOUND.

[phony-time-traveler-deactivated]

this one wins

[painstation-deactivated20181026]

[the-art-of-the-meme-deactivated]

[trustmeidontknowwhatimdoing]

I’m the kid dying in the background

[meanplastic-deactivated20140215]