Here are some lil (maybe not-so) fun facts about him!
- his past job was just one of those corpo jobs. To be specific, a desk job in a newspaper company.
- been hopping place to place due to having low money.
- He got fired from company layoffs.
- in the same day, he stumbled into a crime scene by some criminal groups, and gets blackmailed, and paid into helping them hide the body.
- due to not wanting to be seen a convicted murderer, (he will have a hard time finding jobs) and being low on money, he becomes one of their crew.
- of course, when push comes to shove, he ends up being the fall guy. He only helped in petty crimes, and hasnt killed anyone yet. But it still leaves a stain on him.
- anyways, hes also more like a ‘jack of all trades’ kind of guy. No mastery over one thing, but really decent on most things he finds interesting.
- He originally wanted to find jobs in the arts, (his dream job is being in a band.) however due to the economy of the city they’re in (if convicts/criminals in a gameshow tv aint a sign…) he really couldnt.
- he’s also close to crashing out everyday, but he’s oblivious to that.
- he’s raised in a cult.
- parents are in a cult, but some of his siblings and cousins left. He was the first one to leave the family.
- he has a country accent since he was born in the countryside.
- can hide it pretty well because he learned to talk differently in the city when he was young. (He left the family when he was 19, but has gone to the city with his father for business.)
- He tends to talk differently in the city because he has been teased (lightheartedly) about it when he was a kid.
- the accent shows up when hes alone, or with his closest friends. (Because he will consider them family, and it tricks his brain to switch to his usual accent.)
- it also shows up when he runs on high emotions. Though, rarely when he’s angry. If it does, it can come off sweet, but threatening. So like… maybe something you hear in those campy horror movies.
Anyways, I FINALLY HAVE THE BACKBONE TO POST THIS OC DRAWING AAAAAA
And of course, I’m in the JCC fandom now that I played the game IT GOT ME IN A CHOKEHOLD AUGAAGHHGHG…..
Okay, I dont usually talk about tadc because I’m not in the fandom, I do watch it tho! And boy oh boy, that episode….
Okay, I’ve always loved caine. He was my favorite character from the start because he was so silly.
But ever since that episode came out, it didnt change.
I know that he did some villain shit, but all of his actions just reminded me of myself as a child.
When I was a kid, I’ve had parents and authority figures fail me time and time again. My parents would fight in front of me, authority figures would disregard me when I was getting bullied, telling me to just not mind them, and adults that I was told to trust having the worst intentions that my feeble mind couldn’t comprehend at the time.
So when I was shown time and time again, that this was how it was. I thought that it was normal. Yeah sure, people have taught that this was bad, but the constant negative feedback shown me otherwise.
So, I was a really bad kid back then. Because my stupid frontal lobe wasn’t developed enough to think that just because bad things were happening to me, doesn’t mean the opposite doesn’t exist somewhere.
I was autistic, but maybe even if I was a neurotypical kid, I still might’ve came to the same conclusion.
I was lucky to have friends that taught me how people actually interact. Looking back, I still cant believe they were so patient with me, even if I can be toxic. Unhealthily clingy, and insecure.
And my parents changed too. It was too late, but for me? It was better than nothing.
Looking at Caine, what I see in him is what I could’ve been. What I probably would’ve been if I hadn’t learned. I’d be angry at people wondering why I act the way I do, when all my life I’ve been treated that way. I’d think I’m better than everyone because they’re all the same, even if in actuality, I just didn’t know any other alternative.
Which is why when he got deleted… I just felt sad. It was tragic to me. It was like I mourned myself in another universe where I never get to learn and end up alone. In the end that where he just said “wait…”
He’ll never get to explore that feeling he had. That moment of self-reflection. That tiny spark that might’ve lead to the conclusion that he yearned for. Taken away from him by hubris, a mistake, too soon. Fate is too cruel.
Anyway, I could also say he deserved it. After all, the humans there were constantly telling him, or maybe even teaching him. It was his fault for being machine. And no one was even telling him what to do. He could’ve done anything at all, but instead chose to play god. Petty, but evil and despicable to how he used it on the cast.
And also, I hate ai and what its doing to our current world.
But the thing about being human and the world in general, is that both can be right at the same time. Both can happen at the same time. The word “contradiction” exists, and its often seen as bad, yet it happens anyway.
And sometimes, contradictions can be true. Even if that, in itself, is a contradiction.
I understand people hate him, but I also understand why people might like him too. For an ai, he sure is complex. But he’s human made. (As in the creator of the show)
Just like us, we didnt ask to be made.
Some of us craved to be loved, whether romantic, familial or platonic.And sometimes when we never get it, people lash out, or maybe mistake fear, control, worship for affection.
Some of us want to find our purpose in life, some probably dont mind not having a purpose, but maybe something you’re good at. Anything to show what you’re capable of. And sometimes, unhealthily, it’s tied to your self-worth. Because if you arent good at anything, then why are you even there? Whats the use of a cog that doesn’t fit into a machine we call life? Why were you made? Is it because of selfishness? Can a creation force a creator to make them because of that?
Anyways before I lost my train of thought and probably talk about another thing that isnt even related to what I’m saying, the point is, I really like caine.
I wish he knew that to be human, you don’t need a reason to exist, you don’t need to prove yourself to the creators that probably left a long time ago. That you still had a chance with that single epiphany. That it was possible for him to love, even if he technically didn’t have a heart. Because while humans have a physical beating heart, what matters is the understanding of that feeling. And he almost got it.
Anyways, this is also a character study of this fuckass character, I’m not sure this is all canon or what Gooseworks intended, but these are all my thoughts. Idk, Caine such a scrumptious silly goober I wanna drown him in chocolate milk.
Person A who lost their loved one, and is grieving. Unhealthily.
Person B who wants (or is pressured) to be in a relationship, and also co dependent.
They both sat at the table. The hot meal in front of them looks appetizing, yet none made a move to take a bite.
“Did you like the movie?” Person A starts to speak, smiling at their beloved as they opened up some small talk.
Person B, however… already feels tired from that simple question. Because they know that no matter what answer they’ll give, it wouldn’t satisfy the other.
If they tell the truth, then they’d be upset because ‘it wasnt them.’ And if they lie? The other would be frustrated because ‘it wasnt genuine.’
So, they decided to opt for silence.
“…thats it? Nothing? You’re not even trying.” Person A puts down their utensils abruptly, breaking the calm, yet uncomfortable atmosphere.
“What would I even say? What do you want me to do?” Person B starts getting agitated.
“I want you to try.” Person A grits their teeth.
Person B scratches their head in frustration and perhaps the irritation of wearing a wig for a long period of time.
Person A’s eye twitches at this. Their beloved would never show irritation towards them. Whatever this display even means.
“If you arent my beloved, then leave.”
Person B freezes as they look at them.
“Wh…what.”
“Didnt you hear me? I said get out.”
Person A’s usual warm demeanor is nowhere to be found. One could easily think that they weren’t usually like that in the first place.
Person B… was never their beloved. They were someone else. Someone who just happens to have the same face… or perhaps that same feeling.
Truly, they could just walk out of here, find someone new and start over… and yet.
Will they? This was the only relationship Person B found themselves loved, cared for, remembered…. As if they were the only thing in Person A’s eyes… even if it really wasnt Person B truly.
Do they really want to throw it away?? Is their own sense of self more important than their sense of worth?
“…sorry, darling. I must’ve… misspoke. I did love the movie.”
Person B would rather kill themselves over and over in someone’s arms, than end up fine alone.
Person A, stayed silent for a moment… then smiled absently.
“I’m glad to hear that, my dear.”
Because Person A would rather settle for a hollow imitation, than keep living without their beloved.
Yes its about dottore, yes this topic might’ve existed but WHO CARES I WANNA PUT IT DOWN -scribble scribble-
Note: Anyways, after writing it…. It’s all over the place— is it even a fic anymore?? So uh— gender neutral reader, reader has opinions, and most possibly ooc Dottore (maybe some lore if you squint.) ((maybe)) oh and uhhh TW: death.
Not proofread so there might be mistakes
“Thats it?” You asked him incredulously
“Yes, that is all.” He says as he picks up broken glass shards off the floor.
You are confused, first and foremost. That is the truth.
you feel, off. Like you were supposed to feel something else—unsatisfied, maybe.
You also know that, this doesn’t affect anything. It shouldn’t and is not, a big deal.
Two things can exist, and be right at the same time.
The doctor then puts the glass shards in a trash bag.
It was weird.
“You can stop staring and start helping with the mess too, you know?” He added, filling the silence.
It was typical of him to boss you around.
Sometimes, the sound of his voice would grate your ears from the sheer audacity it had. In those times, you find yourself wondering… what if you didn’t comply to his orders?
But that was another thought for next time.
Because that was not the thing that bothered you.
He sounded… awkward. Maybe not the right term, but it isnt grating. If anything, it sounded like a suggestion. Which could be considered a good habit for him to keep…
If it weren’t for the slight melancholy you caught in his voice.
“Are we going to avoid—“
“We aren’t avoiding anything.”
He stops you there. Not wanting to talk about the mess in his lab, the glass shards that broke simultaneously, the blood dripping from his skin…
…his clones strewn upon the floor.
You decided to help him, yet that didn’t stop you from trying to start this conversation. Because you knew for a fact that this wasn’t just nothing. Even if he says otherwise.
“You should’ve worn gloves before throwing those glass shards.”
You started to speak as you went towards one of the clones. This one was holding papers, that were now strewn across the floor. Those were probably documents that were for the Tsaritsa.
His face seemed scrunched, annoyed. You picked up the papers that weren’t soaked by the blood from this clone’s head, and placed it in a nearby table. You thought that maybe by helping him finish his duty, it would do him a favor… somehow.
“It was an… abrupt change. I had to take care of it as soon as I came back.”
As you hear his answer, you went towards another clone. This one was nearby the vials and glass shards. He was probably in the middle of an experiment.
You see his face up close and… his eyes were open, afraid even. You wonder if these clones feared their death, or maybe the experiment being unfinished. Your hands slowly hovered his eyes to close them… and gently wipe away some tears.
“Do you… treat life so carelessly?”
You finally asked him. Your breaths are a bit uneven, but your voice still manages to hold itself still.
“Quite the contrary… I find life interesting. You cant get results when most of your test subjects are dead.”
He says matter-of-factly, however you weren’t having it.
“Of course, ‘most’ being the keyword… death is sometimes crucial to understanding, or rather, getting the results you need.”
When he finishes his statement you couldn’t think of anything to say. I mean, what answer do you expect from him? Of course this was Dottore. This was typical of him to do.
But again, is that really the case here? You still can’t help but feel like he isn’t saying something else… you just can’t put a pin in it…
Two things can exist, and be right at the same time.
“Is that why you killed all your segments?”
He was done picking up the shards on the ground, and so he stared at you.
“Of course.”
Before reacting to his dismissive remark, he continued.
“After all, I could always make more. Albeit in a smaller scale… time is not on our side, after all. So is the budget for something so complex.”
Again, you still cant help but feel frustrated by his explanation. Maybe this was normal for him, a minor set back… but…
“You cant— you cant seriously be so fine with killing yourself… right???”
You exclaimed, maybe a bit panicked… or angry… you don’t know. Your heart is just pounding off your chest, and you cant articulate some of whats going on in your mind right now. You have so many things you want to say, to ask… but right now, that frustration is making it hard to talk properly.
“What…?”
The doctor can only mutter confusingly. You swear that you could’ve seen his head tilt ever so slightly too. It would’ve been comical if it weren’t for the current situation.
“You… you cant just say all that… and look at your own dead body on the ground… and act as if that doesnt affect you— right??? Am I crazy for that??”
You exhaled some of those words out your mouth, as if you felt exhausted from just asking.
“Should it affect me?” He starts to ask.
“I think so??? I mean, you may be the second harbinger and all, or maybe you’ve seen lots of dead things—”
you muttered to yourself. Already, you’re starting to think it’s probably stupid for thinking about it, but you know you have to be getting somewhere with this.
“—but youre still human, right?? Surely you’re at least uncomfortable with what happened, right?? You can’t tell me that you didn’t have second thoughts in that moment.”
Dottore chuckled at this. Out right laughs at this question of yours.
“This conversation is a bit… dramatic. Yes, I had second thoughts if my segments’ whining counted.”
You… dont know what else to say. What point was it leading to. What to feel. Because every time you ask him about it, it feels so… below him. Should it really matter if he’s unaffected? Are you really just dramatic? Looking for meaning when nothing is there?
After all, some of the segments didnt care if they were being deleted, but some of the segments were afraid. But if most of them are him… then should it matter?? He wasn’t hurting anyone this time, so what has his sin this time?
You shook your head. You know better than to be trapped in your thoughts.
You kept overthinking about it, when you remember why you felt off. Why you felt why this didn’t feel right.
Dottore agreed to delete his segments, because an archon deemed it an equal exchange for a gnosis. He thinks it’s a compliment, yet a part of you thinks that it’s unfair. Because from the way you see it, the archons treat it like a bargaining chip. Something to gain, something to lose.
To put a price on life feels… awful.
Yet, you didnt say anything else. After all, this was going to be the busiest time for him.
Of course, that small conversation you had was such a long time ago. Everyone in Nodkrai had been celebrating after everything.
Of course, for you…. You’d have to move into a different station. Perhaps Sandrone’s station once she gets fixed.
You didn’t know what to feel when you heard them defeat the doctor. Most of them cheered when their moon goddess came back and saved Nodkrai, and you couldn’t blame them for that.
What surprised you however, was your comrades. The fatui and most of the harbingers.
They too, cheered for the doctor’s downfall.
Truly, you shouldn’t be surprised. Yet you couldn’t help but feel a bit bitter.
When he has done everything for the tsaritsa… why wasnt he grieved? What was so different about him that it made him the exception to human empathy? When other harbingers were feared for reasons that are on par with the doctor?
Perhaps no one will grieve a mad man, perhaps his achievements will be buried by the transgressions he dared to commit, perhaps no one will remember the name: Zandik.
I think the reason why I liked Scaramouche before…. And why I like Dottore now, is because they were my outlet for being against people of power. For some reason. (Me not being confrontational in general)
Something about them that just screams going against the heavens, to defy the natural laws that were so unfairly placed on themselves, when all they wanted was to live, to be accepted.
Maybe thats just how I saw them— idk
I also know they did bad stuff, not excusing them and I still saw them as a villain, but damn.
Some dottore fic I came up with an hour ago because I’m sleepy and the idea came up and i wanted to write it.
Gender neutral reader! (I think, i didnt proofread it, but it should be. Okay goodnight zzzz)
And probably ooc dottore, just in case.
All you wanted right now, was sleep.
And so, you decide to make your way to the doctor’s chambers, because why not. It seemed an interesting option, albeit a weird choice considering what you wanted to accomplish at the moment.
“Hey, Dottore?” You managed to mumble out, as you dragged your legs towards the doctor, who was busy observing some plants from some vial. An experiment you didn’t care to remember at the moment.
“What is it? I’m in the middle of something…” at least he cared to answer, yet still dismissive of your plight.
“Talk to me for a sec.” You took a stool nearby and plopped right down, your arms curled on the table as your head rests in them.
The doctor, still looking at the vial, puts small drops of liquid on a single leaf, before closing it up.
“You interrupted my work… to talk?” He sighed as he leaned back on his chair. Apparently, he wasn’t done with the experiment yet he decided that this surely would be a quick reprieve from it.
“What topic would you even want to discuss? And not to mention, I don’t think you’d be able to hold a conversation at the moment” A grimace appeared on his face when he noticed how tired you look. Already, he thinks this idea of yours is a bit odd. Counterproductive, even.
That didn’t deter you, however, and so you hummed in thought. You lifted your head a bit to look around for inspiration, only for your eyes to land back at that plant-vial thing.
“Talk about… I don’t know— your latest project? I guess…? What’s it about? Tell me.” You answered as you placed your head back on the table.
“Your voice is very soothing….”
that muffled addition wouldn’t go unheard from the doctor, yet he didn’t feel the need to address it either.
“…Very well.” He decides to oblige and opens the vial again, focusing on his work as he talks.
Although… he cant help but notice how strange it feels. To talk to someone— other than himself— about his experiment.
Of course, it’s not like you’re actively engaging with him in this one sided conversation. And yet, it feels less lonely. Because someone else was listening this time.
It’s such a weird feeling… one that he must know more about.
Sometimes when I’m bored, I like to think that somewhere in this forest, there is a cryptid somewhere that wants to be friends. Or maybe is interested in human culture.
Another reason why I close my blinds all the time.
The setting that prevents your work being used to train AI models is turned off by default! I had no idea about this until now! Artists, go to your settings, click “visibility”, and turn on this setting! Protect your work!
normalize being dogshit amateur at your special interests and hyperfocuses. no more autistic savants. yes i am very into that topic no i am not good at it. we exist <3
WAIT THIS EXISTS??? thank god, I’m not the only one with this specific problem (inner problem really.)
Because i swear, everytime I say “oh, I really like [interest] so much. And then realize that I dont know it fully… for some reason my brain just goes
“oh, so youre lying. Youre a fraud. You dont get to call that your interest, you should be ashamed! As a matter of fact, your autism has been revoked! You are now just a weirdo.”
Sometimes I wonder if the reason why I cant fully articulate my thoughts is because no one really listens to me if I do get a hyper fixation, or that I know I’ll be weird for being too into it. So i get used to not speaking about it.
And the fact that if I do get some things wrong, all of the sudden it is not my hyper fixation and get blasted. (It hasn’t happened to me yet, but it is truly one of my fears.)
God my eyes feel so heavy, I just slept and now my body begs for more slumber.
I swear to god, there has to be some sort of magic going on here, do bed demons exist?? “Doesn’t the bed feel cozy and warm?? I bet your touchstarved ass would get addicted to the soft embrace of the sheets that no one has ever granted you.”
the invisible and the outcast trope (does that exist?)
(really, its inspired by dottore. because damn, that man is fated to be exiled from every people, destined to be isolated... and yet, what if someone, whos invisible, no one interacts with, isnt important... simply reaches out to him? curiosity, pity, loneliness... there could be many reasons why they'd stick around with him)
