Vent Account

💔 Valentine (Also go by Val + Valerie) 💔 He/They 💔 16 💔

[v4l3nt1n3-ventz]

THIS IS A VENT ACCOUNT SPECIFICALLY CREATED FOR ME TO EXPRESS MY EMOTIONS ANONYMOUSLY IN A WAY I FEEL COMFORTABLE DOING! TRIGGERING TOPICS ARE DISCUSSED! I FULLY SUPPORT RECOVERY (i wish you my best on your journey to that) BUT IF YOU ARE TRYING TO DO THAT THIS ACCOUNT IS NOT THE PLACE FOR YOU!!

TWs: SH, SA/COCSA, trauma/s3xual trauma, suicidal thoughts, depression, negative thoughts/language, disordered eating (these topics are mentioned with varying degrees of severity and detail, check tags of posts for specific warnings)

I DO NOT PROMOTE OR ENCOURAGE ANY HARMFUL ACTIONS TOWARDS YOURSELF OR ANOTHER PERSON, ALL OF MY VENTS ARE STRICTLY BASED OFF OF MY OWN PERSONAL LIFE EXPERIENCES!

If you need someone to talk to feel free to message me but if i cannot be there for you or i do not respond just know it is nothing personal! Please also keep in mind that i am a minor when talking to me so no inappropriate conversations!! Please just be respectful =)

Asks are open, ask me anything, but keep it appropriate!

If you don't like my posts please just block don't report.

- Valentine 💔

[v4l3nt1n3-ventz]

I know this tumblr blog was short lived, but i want to get better. I don't want to vent and wallow in self pity, i want to put in the effort to get better. Things are looking up for me and i genuinely feel more positively about life. I wish everyone else on the road to recovery good luck, or if your not there yet good luck for the future. You can do this even if it's tough and i hope one day i can look back at these posts and not even recognise the person behind them.

- Valentine 💖

[v4l3nt1n3-ventz]

Does anyone else get mad when your friends don't ask you whats wrong even though everything your doing is such an obvious cry for help?

[v4l3nt1n3-ventz]

Calorie counting and fasting 💖💖 >>>>>

[v4l3nt1n3-ventz]

Thinking about how my mum loved my name, she loved it for years before she even had me. She heard it and knew if she ever had another child she'd call it that name. It was her favourite name for ages. And then I was born and it was a wish come true. And then i grew up and changed my name. I changed her favourite name, the name she gave me, the name she dreamed of calling me. It feels like a betrayal.

[v4l3nt1n3-ventz]

I know the steps i need to take to mentally recover the thing stopping me tho is the fact that mental recovery is like climbing a really high, rocky mountain without any equipment. It's really hard and almost seemingly impossible and theres a high chance i will fall and get seriously hurt and will have to start all over again. On the other hand getting worse mentally is like a walk down a flight of stairs. It's easy and simple.

I like easy and simple.

[v4l3nt1n3-ventz]

Mental breakdown check haha everyday is a slippery slope down to saddness and despair 🤩

[v4l3nt1n3-ventz]

When I comfort my friends and give them advice on their issues i always feel like such a hypocrite cause i never use that advice or those comforting thoughts on myself

[v4l3nt1n3-ventz]

I don't wanna be here anymore ✨

[v4l3nt1n3-ventz]

When i can't even enjoy the summer sun cause all I'm worried about is wether or not someone will see me scars

[v4l3nt1n3-ventz]

When i say something nice to someone that makes their day and my brain thinks "emotional manipulation at it's finest". Like bitch i was being genuine what 😭

[v4l3nt1n3-ventz]

"Are you ok?"

"Course I am. Everythings fine."

...

"Who are you trying to convince right now? Cause it isn't me."

[v4l3nt1n3-ventz]

I am fed up of my friend criticising my other friends. For the sake of simplicity I'm gonna call this friend Jenna. Everytime i talk about my friends to Jenna she always has to criticize them or say something bad about them. I'm so fed up of it, she never approves of my friends. I could say "oh yea I'm going out with my friends over the weekend" and Jenna will jump in and say "their so boring though why do you like them they have no redeemable qualities your friends with the weird kids I'd never want to be friends with them" like Jenna I DIDN'T FUCKING ASK AND I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK! IT'S JUST CONSTANT OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND I'M FED UP! It's really starting to get to me but I don't know what to do anymore.

[v4l3nt1n3-ventz]

I feel disgusting.

[v4l3nt1n3-ventz]

I haven't eaten a full meal in about 2 weeks now. Today was the first time i had to because my parents were watching me. It was beans on toast but looking at it just made my stomach churn. I didn't wanna eat it at all. I ate half and felt sick and full and i hated it but they kept giving me suspicious looks so i had to keep eating. I still feel disgusting and gross and full. I hate feeling full. I was doing so well and making so much progress but now it's been ruined. I feel like i lost control. I feel fat. I feel sick.

[v4l3nt1n3-ventz]

Food is like art. I look at art and think it's beautiful and i don't want to destroy it. I'm the same with food. I look at food and think it looks tasty and I don't want to eat it.

[v4l3nt1n3-ventz]

Todays the first time in a while I've looked at a meal and began panicking. A meal that use to be my favourite has me hyperventilating and crying. I don't want to eat it.