So there's currently a sort of quandary that I'm facing. A new friend gives you their number, with a request to text. You do so, and no response is forthcoming. So, there are four obvious possibilities. One, that the number was fictitious, and they would rather you didn't question this fiction to save face for all around. Two, that the number was genuine, but that they are ignoring you, which is similar to one save that the number is easy to remember because it's the same one, and you simply have to ignore future communiques. Three, the number is fine, and they're busy, phone has broken, or some other minor error. And four, the number is wrong, but simply due to a mistake, and the person is potentially wondering why you haven't been in contact.
In the first two situations they do not wish to speak to you, which either belies a very rapid change of mind, or that they in some way felt obligated to provide their number. Having not been in the situation of anyone asking for my number more than once, I can't speak with any authority about the issue of trying to dissuade the persistent. But volunteering one's number seems to suggest at least some level of interest in further communication. Probably.
So if either three or four apply, and you yourself would like to see this person again, then it seems reasonable to want to pursue other means of contact. In the past this might have been through mutual friends, letters, or other such means, with the benefit of often being proximate rather than direct. Responding to a letter or, now, email, again requires less personal contact if you're trying to keep someone at a distance.
But now we have Facebook. And if they gave you a full name and you remember them even a little bit most people can be easily found within one search. Click box, type name, press enter, find friend. The website has become so common that it becomes almost strange NOT to find someone on there.
With all this being said, there remains one thing.
To what extent should one's Facebook page be considered "private"? You've uploaded it in the full knowledge and, indeed, intent that it be viewed by others. Generally those who are already your friends, but since it's nice to make a new connection people often don't limit their privacy settings to ONLY their friends, allowing others to view their profile. Even Google searches can return a Facebook page reference. So does this count as doing something wrong?
While I was at uni one of my flatmates went on at some length about her online handle and about her favourite forum. Out of curiosity I searched for her username on said forum to see what sort of things she was discussing, and discovered that several of the things were attacks on myself. I subsequently confronted her about this, and was then labelled as "creepy" by her.
I feel that if you post something in a public forum, one that anyone can read, and you make a great deal of your username, then it should come as no shock when people see something written by you and make note that you were the author. And if you have said something unkind or objectionable, why should I not be permitted to call you on it? I haven't hacked or gain illicit access to something, you typed it in the full knowledge that it could and would be read by strangers. Why does hiding behind a handle guarantee you immunity from comment if someone makes a connection? If you make a statement you should be prepared to stand by it, regardless of context.
So with all this, and in the full acceptance that MANY of us will look at the Facebook profiles of those with whom we are not yet firm friends, why is it still deemed unseemly to admit the fact? Is it because it feels that something has been betrayed when someone admits to essentially "finding out about you"? And while I know it's different to asking others about you, why in this age of public sharing and information do we still treat them as something so completely different?
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