Decadent twink

Valentijn/ 29/ he/him // DRAG+COMIC ARTIST// most active on INSTAGRAM I make comics sometimes. I also do drag. You can read my webcomic SHY GHOST GIRLFRIEND and some other comic works on my itch.io AESTHETICS blog

[valentijnsstuff]

Updated tummy Tuesday!! Now with gains (and invisible boy smell)

[valentijnsstuff]

I don't know how to describe the euphoria of being small Guy, getting his pussy railed and brain fucked stupid by a gentle giant with a huge dick. But man. It was so good.

Just the process alone of making it fit had me feeling high and short of breath, bc he would tease A LOT before putting it in. And then he would also gently manhandle me into position and say stuff like 'you don't have to think anymore' that shit was hotttttt

[tgatbc]

[podencos]

I’m so easily revitalized by small, loving gestures

[atiya-nagrano]

platonic or romantic, ppl who understand each other in a way no one else has for a v long time.............that's the good stuff. being lonely and trying to connect and always knowing there's a part of you that's untranslatable....................and then someone arrives who sometimes can literally speak that language...................................

[djklmnx]

Source

[colbyskennel]

it’s always “x liked your post” and never “someone sent you a horny anon calling you a good boy”

[persbaderse]

before my egg cracked, i had noticed that trans people were often pro-accessibility and up-to-date on the needs of disabled people, but i hadn’t seen any inherent connection between the two (other than the obvious minority-looking-out-for-other-minority thing). but now that i’m trans and medically transitioning, and i have to constantly repeat myself while talking to doctors and nurses, and explain things about my own anatomy to medical staff who should already know this, and having every single problem i might have blamed on my “condition” so nothing i say is taken seriously, all of the sudden i have a little sneak peak into the life of someone who has to deal with this all the time. like shit bro, being disabled probably sucks ass, someone should do something about this

[persbaderse]

happy disability pride month, we all deserve autonomy and respect and access to medication

[valentijnsstuff]

I want to talk to someone who has been suicidal for a few years and has made it out ALIVE bc I need to know it gets better

BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, I need to know how you explain to your friends and family what you need from them, and that you will keep needing them, even when the immediate crisis is over, and how to not feel a deep deep guilt for making them deal with your suicidality with you, because the guilt only makes me wish I was dead more

[valentijnsstuff]

Also having the emotional abandonment trauma that makes you feel guilty for wanting to feel belonging, connection and even being alive in the first place is such bullshit

I am mad that this is where I am at age 31, after struggling so hard with trying to learn to reach out for years, I still don't feel safe asking anyone for the help I truly need WHEN I truly need it

[valentijnsstuff]

I want to talk to someone who has been suicidal for a few years and has made it out ALIVE bc I need to know it gets better

BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, I need to know how you explain to your friends and family what you need from them, and that you will keep needing them, even when the immediate crisis is over, and how to not feel a deep deep guilt for making them deal with your suicidality with you, because the guilt only makes me wish I was dead more

[ghw-archive]

Armored breastplate crafted by Filippo Negroli (fl.1532-51), made of metal. Currently part of the collection at the Museo Nazionale del Bargello, Florence, Italy.

[fairycosmos]

fucked that you can’t fix other people especially when you really care about them. Oh so im just supposed to be there for you while you suffer. like a useless cunt gargoyle

[draconym]

It's nuts how common it is to not allow children to be angry, even (especially) in households where adults are angry all the time. As a child I knew my own anger was unacceptable--not just expressing it outwardly but feeling it at all. So now as an adult my immediate reaction to my own anger is often to feel guilt instead of like. Noticing when someone is being rude or unfair or my boundaries are being violated or whatever. fucked up.

[teaboot]

On of the less intuitive things about love, I've found, of any kind, is the importance of needing things.

I didn't realize it until recently, but I've always seen love as something requiring sacrifice, selflessness, patience, and generosity- to ask for nothing is to be the best person I can be, small and quiet and never in the way, always happy and helpful, self-sufficient and present when desired.

It's only as an adult, now, that I'm beginning to see the selfishness of wanting nothing.

I cut my friend's hair in my kitchen the other day. They wanted a trim and I had the skills, so I offered, and was genuinely excited when they stopped hesitating over "bothering me" and took me up on it. It was a peaceful afternoon, and we had tea and chatted for an hour or more.

My brother and I shared popcorn at the movies a while ago. When I came time to pay, I pulled my card out like a wild western sheriff and slapped it on the machine before he could fight me for it first. The satisfaction was delightful.

Someone called me crying on the phone the other day. Kept apologizing for disturbing me at work, talking about how they were bothering me on my lunch break. I was telling the truth when I told them that really, I was flattered and honored and relieved, knowing that if they were hurting I would know, that I didn't have to worry in silence. It felt good to hear them slowly come down, and to know that they knew it would be better soon, and to hear them laugh wetly on the other end. We're getting together for a visit next week.

It's hard to need things, if you've trained yourself not to. It's hard to want things, when you don't know how to want anymore. Trusting people is difficult, and so is relying on them, but I don't know where I'd be without the people who rely on me.

I've heard a lot of people say, "Nobody will love you unless you love yourself". I've had a lot of thoughts about it. It's not right, but it's not wrong, either, I think.

"Nobody will love you unless you love yourself"... I've always taken that to mean, "You will not be lovable until you develop a positive view of yourself as a person".

Now, I think it's sort of inside-out.

"Nobody will love you unless you love yourself"... because nobody can show their love to you in a way that you can accept until you treat yourself kindly, and learn what you need, and what you want, and how to ask for it, and then give that vulnerability away.

Love, for me, is someone I ask for a ride to the airport. Whether they end up doing this or not is irrelevant.

It's not needy, or selfish, or taking up energy. It's giving the gift of being wanted, and needed, and thought of. It's giving someone the security of being part of someone's life.

[valtsv]

it's always "you gnawed off your own leg to escape like an animal caught in a trap" and never "why didn't anyone try to help you out of the trap" or "why weren't you provided with any other resources to escape the trap with except for your own teeth"

[trufflesmushroom]

[crabussy]

small tips for Enjoying Being Alive from someone who went from wanting to die to genuinely loving life. these won't fix your life but they'll make it a lot easier to want to live day by day. I promise.

tell yourself things you do not believe. it feels stupid at first but I've done this for years and now I believe it when I say "I'm good at this" or "I love myself" or "I deserve good shit!"

make a note of every mundane good thing that happens to you. mental or literal notes! could be as little as "the sky is a nice shade of grey, it's calming" or "I ate a piece of fruit today, I'm looking after myself" or "I talked to a friend". again, feels stupid at first, but I genuinely believe this is part of why I have so many "good days". trick your brain into storing things in your long-term memory that you wouldn't otherwise remember.

diet deficiencies can make you properly miserable. your physical health impacts your mental health more than you'd think. get some vitamins, some omega-3s and so on. whether from food or supplements. they can make quite a difference! your brain is responsible for a LOT of the way you feel, and giving it the fatty acids it needs to function at its best can go a long way.

[crabussy]

I know these all sound like stupid junk people who have never wanted to die tell you. I know they sound like dumb "self-help" tips written by people who have suffered mild anxiety at worst.

they're coming from someone who had multiple daily panic attacks for half a decade. someone who genuinely felt like he did not deserve to live. someone who hated himself so much he convinced himself he was irredeemably evil. someone who loves being alive these days, even though it's difficult sometimes.

you truly don't have to follow any of this advice. but just read through. store it in the back of your mind. come back to it when you want. best of luck. [:

[nedzira]

These are genuinely great! If I can add a small comment it would be to try to change scenery every now and then, take a different route home and go for walks. And make appointments to meet your friends!

[crabussy]

ABSOLUTELY. anytime I feel myself descending into a slump where everything feels wrong and bad and gross and hard, I go on a Weird Walk. I choose a familiar destination (the dairy, the beach, a specific hill) and intentionally choose a route I've never tried before. it's crazy but it makes me feel better almost instantly, even if the new walk is worse than my usual route. your brain CRAVES new stimulation! you are a member of a species with one of the most active brains in the animal kingdom. please try not to live like a hamster.

[raylangivins]