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@valhallaforducks
I miss my babies :(
I love the opening of Heated Rivalry so much because it sets up the show and Shane and Ilya's dynamic so perfectly. From "not the most sociable" Shane Hollander actively going out of his way to interact (because he's already fascinated by him) to "not liked outside of his own locker room" Ilya Rozanov being a bit of a cocky shit (which we pretty quickly realise is a front) to the instant spark of attraction.
Look at this man experiencing freckles and awkward Canadian politeness and developing a fat crush.
My favourite part however is as Shane is leaving clearly uncomfortable with how their conversation went (he does a head tilt like "well, that went horribly")
Ilya notices and that's when he chirps, immediately making Shane more comfortable as he chirps back. And thus, their lovingly teasing, when they say "asshole" and "boring" they really mean "I love you" dynamic is born.
Also, yes, Ilya's lighter doesn't spark until Shane appears which is just an additional beautiful touch.
i have an extremely beautiful scene in my mind of shane at home on their couch with ilya's head on one thigh and anya's head on the other and providing simultaneous head scritches and having to try SO hard not to laugh when pausing gets him non-verbal complaints from BOTH of them
he pauses once just because it's funny and gets ilya's hand tapping his knee at the same time it gets him anya swatting the air with her paw in the direction of his hand, and there are TEARS in his eyes resisting the urge to laugh as he resumes because he doesn't want to break the softness of this moment even though it's also objectively hilarious to be part of
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
the brain yearns for pathetic tipsy kim. a direct continuation of my post-canon kimchay where chay gets in a band and they write songs to each other.
Amber Glenn and Lena Lemon behind the scenes for HBO Max and Heated Rivalry
among the reasons i love shane goes to boston as an idea is that cliff marlowe is a fucking GIANT of a man, and i have the very funny idea in my head that being ilya's boyfriend means shane gets auto-included into the Bro Manhandling that i KNOW that man gives out to his friends.
and like. LISTEN. shane is a tough, strong dude, okay? he has played a heavy contact sport since he was an itty bitty. he is no shrinking violet. he can take a hit and get back up and keep going. he's no stranger to like. grabbing shoulders and a little playful jostling. but i also feel like his vibe on the team with the metros made him a little untouchable (first with respect that still made him "other" and then with. well.) beyond things like shoulder punches from jj and helmet taps with hayden.
and now he's gotten tossed into this locker room where he is accepted and welcomed but ALSO maybe getting fucking whiplash on the reg from cliff's affection. like hey! thank you for including me! but also you just fucking RAGDOLLED me the SECOND i walked in here today and i am a little turned on and ALARMED about it. just a little.
like hits on the ice? yeah. shane understands those. gets 'em and deals 'em all the time. no big. a little bro shoulder tapping/shaking? yeah sure.
but cliff just fucking. 🗣️HOLL-ZY! MY GUUUY! 🗣️ and that is shane's ONLY warning that he's about to get borderline shaken adult syndrome. everyone else in the locker room including ilya knows to brace or dodge by this point, but shane is still adjusting.
and like!! it's nice!! thank you for including me!! but also jesus fuck!!! i have a new empathy for anya's favorite toy when she death shakes it!! oh my god!!!
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related to my previous post of ilya not fully realizing how much shane pulls his "struggle" when they're "wrestling" as foreplay and is then VERY turned on when shane slams him back down when he's about to switch their position when shane is close: additional funny moment possibility of ilya going "...oh" as he realizes EXACTLY how much shane was letting being "trapped" happen is the idea of them playfully fighting when they're at the cottage and ilya pinning shane on the bed only for shane to hear the door open and his mom call out when she stops by unexpectedly, and shane SHOOTS UP and fucking PANCAKES ilya off of him like it's fucking NOTHING
and ilya is then like. on the FLOOR. dazed and just "??? jesus christ??? you could do that the WHOLE time???" while shane is just scrambling to get out of bed and stop his mom from coming any further into the house in case anything incriminating has been left out accidentally
and meanwhile ilya is just still on the floor kind of horny and also kind of "wow wow" as he's replaying how many fights he's "won" and realizing the full extent to which that's only been because shane let it happen lmao
on another note, watched The Mummy (1999) the other day and I couldn’t help feel like the O’Connells and the Addams (Addams Family Values (1993) would get on really well ya know? The O’Connells are basically the pastel adventure version of the Addams, surely they would just be vibin’ over tea and crumpets in an extremely haunted mansion having a ball of a time
Morticia: “So what is it you do for a living my dear?”
Evelyn: “We dig up dead people who often have monstrous curses placed on them!”
Morticia: “fascinating”
Gomez: *leaping out from behind a pillar which is encrusted with ominous looking runes* en garde!
Rick: *grabs sword from equally ominous looking wall full of weapons one of which seems to be glowing* fantastic I was getting a bit rusty
Gomez: *nearly in tears* oh he’s screaming nonsensically, what spirit! what reslove!
*Rick and Gomez, still frantically sword fighting*
Rick: Have I mentioned how wonderful my wife is yet, I really feel like I haven’t really expanded enough on how wonderful she is
Gomez: do go on, I would be delighted to hear about how wonderful your wife is, I strongly encourge all men to extoll the virtues of their wives with rapturous praise, however I should perhaps mention my wife is in fact better
*sword fighting intensifies as both men rapturously extoll the virtues of their wives*
Jonathan and Fester and Cousin Itt watch from the bar, where Lurch and Thing are making the drinks.
Jonathan and Thing knew one another from The War; each thought the other to be dead
Their reunion is highly emotional
Rick, whilst swordfighting: My wife resurrected an ancient evil that brought about the plagues.
Gomez: What. A. Woman.
given how babies/itty bitties react to familiar adults suddenly changing their appearance, i am CACKLING imagining ilya coming over to the pike residence for dinner one night right out of a photoshoot where they straightened his hair
and baby amber pike just sees him and SCREAMS before starting to cry because who is this STRANGER who is unca iya but NOT
and shane is just *pat pat pat on her back* "😔i know buddy, i feel the same way😔"
and ilya just 🙄 as he goes to wet his hair in the shower
i think i've posted this before, but ilya truly does deserve an award for his patience after getting woken up at fuck o'clock at the cottage for a five year plan strategy session when he was in the middle of a rem cycle.
like the way he asked "what is nur-ate-iv?" makes me think man TRULY was not catching all of the words getting tossed at him so fast the second his eyes were even a LITTLE open. like he wasn't asking "what story did you come up with?" he's asking "what word are you even saying to me right now?" man got like 0.2 seconds to be like "oh i'm awake now?" before he was getting PELTED with english because shane had a forty step plan that couldn't wait like. three more hours.
i would have hit him with a pillow and said let's circle back, so kudos to ilya.
the whole boston team knowing about montreal jane and they think that ilya rozanov who can pull any girl he wants must have found a real baddie the way he keeps coming back for more and then hard cut to shane hollander on a friday night drinking tea and reading the same hockey book for the fourth time who when ilya texts him asking what are you wearing? texts back my new organic cotton pj set and ilya texts back i'm so hard tell me more
Schedule on Saturn • Monthly Schedule JULY 2026 via twitter - studio_onsaturn
Inside Shane's head: orgasm ✅️, time for pillow talk, what is the most emotionally devastating question i can ask my casual situationship today?
Look at his face! His eyes. He is trying so so so hard to be so chill. So nonchalant. "Don't look down. Turn the volume down. Don't look at him yet. He might disappear. Be cool. Don't spook him." And oh my god he is not chill in the slightest. He is so touched that Shane seems to care. He asked about the girls thing and it didn't go well so he's taking this as a sign that maybe Shane does care. It goes downhill in like 5 minutes but you know.
And then:
He settles in a bit and he looks almost almost relaxed. But he still can't look! And the barely-there jaw flex, shoving down the emotions. Looking makes it too real. Even though it's already very real for Ilya.
And then we get so brave because he wants to look! Memorize Shane laying on his chest. The weight of him. His smell. How his hair feels.
Tetrapak print attempt #2 & 3*
(*= for the last month or so I've tried different kinds of printing, just to try them out, and I've used Hollanov as a subject simply because I had printed pictures of them lying around and it was convenient.)
(Please click on them to see them in better quality)