祝日 / Permanent Vacation
occasionally subtle
#extradirty
No title available
titsay
Janaina Medeiros
will byers stan first human second
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
Love Begins
ojovivo
hello vonnie
Xuebing Du
Peter Solarz
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
No title available
i don't do bad sauce passes
Sade Olutola
cherry valley forever
izzy's playlists!
oozey mess
seen from South Korea
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from South Africa
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Indonesia
seen from United States
seen from Indonesia
seen from Malaysia
seen from Malaysia
seen from Singapore
seen from South Africa
seen from Netherlands
seen from United States
seen from T1
seen from Switzerland
seen from United States
seen from Austria
@bookgeekgrrl
i imagine post-catws bucky is super averse to touching steve with his metal arm, afraid of tainting him with the weapon that took so many lives. eventually steve can't stand it any longer and presses his cold palm to his chest, saying, "you're not gonna hurt me."
commission for @jediscribe!
(commissions are open!)
I’ve been living in the ‘what if shane sent the we didn’t even kiss text’ tag and I Have Thoughts
Ilya “Russia’s Grestest Love Machine” Rozanov would’ve had the most BRUTAL crashout getting the ‘we didn’t even kiss’ text from Shane. Four words and I 100% believe that man is putting his hand through glass, punching mirrors, flipping tables
that text would cause enough psychic damage to cripple Ilya’s bloodline for generations ok
Ilya’s self worth is SO dependent on what he can provide and he’s always been the good hot sex teacher for Shane that’s their whole THING! Imagine getting a critique on the sex you JUST had VIA text FROM the man that you taught to give blowjobs? (The crowd boos as Ilya fumbles The Shane Hollander)
For Shane to (validly) call him out like that ilya would have to confront that he Didn’t Do Good and he did that to make himself feel better and yes I DO think that that would kill him instantly
OH OW FUCK
Batman: Babysitter
Bruce adores babies
Clark Kent, get this man pregnant
Born to be a mother.
Project Announcement: DEMOLITION | team #50
art by @digrupert betaing by @ghostintheclawmachine coming this fall! date to come
I'm so excited to finally announce my project for @steddiebbang 2026, and reveal the incredible team I'm going to get to work with!
DEMOLITION
Rated E est. 30-40k contemporary AU, demolition derbies, rivals to lovers, one-sided rivalry, plot with porn, a hint of Appalachian Eddie warnings for minor-moderate racism, misogyny, and homophobia; some blood and threat of serious injuries
Eddie's been driving demolition derbies since he was sixteen, and has built himself up a reputation: not just the guy with the gimmick of wrecking and rebuilding and wrecking old hearses, but a damn good driver and a great show. The Roane County Fair Hawkins Crash is his new white whale: the past two years he's won the title of Mad Dog—audience favorite, best show, craziest driver—but he's just missed first. But he just knows this is his year.
He's prepared for most everything except for the sponsor's rich, spoiled asshole of a son to be participating. (He's even less prepared for Steve Harrington to be a good driver, a great fuck, and maybe even a genuinely likeable person.)
Rivals to lovers and dirt and rust and car crashes, and not every car crash is a sex allegory, but a lot of the car crashes are a sex allegory. The sex is definitely a car crash allegory.
Excerpt:
In the background of the video clip, posted by a fan at the hotel breakfast just before Christmas 2018, Shane Hollander is talking on the phone. He looks tired but he's smiling, pushing scrambled eggs around his plate with a fork. "I saw, baby," he says. "No, definitely, no way that was slashing, I'm with you. You'll get them next time, though. Beautiful goal you got in the first, that was so fucking sexy. I can't wait to see you tomorrow. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Love you."
Which leads to a bit of an uproar because omg Shane Hollander has a girlfriend?? who plays hockey???? that's so on brand for him like. okay who was playing last night and got a goal in the first period, we need to find the woman who has Shane Hollander crooning into his phone like a lovestruck teenager. and the consensus lands on an unsuspecting and entirely unrelated CWHL forward who has never even been in the same city as Shane but the Internet is running with the story and there's journalists harassing her and Shane has to get his agent to call her agent so he can apologise for this mess and she's like, dude, I know it's not your fault, but Shane feels so fucking bad about it, you know?
And unfortunately it doesn't really let up as quickly as they thought because it's right before Christmas and isn't this a great story, fucking Hallmark movie shit, so a very unimpressed Leila (her name is Leila) has to look a reporter in the eye after her team just played a really good fucking game of hockey and everybody wants to talk to her about some fucking guy, you know? so she looks him in the eye and says, no, I am not dating Shane Hollander, I have never dated Shane Hollander, I will never date Shane Hollander, I am literally a lesbian. I have a whole-ass girlfriend. She plays for the Blades.
And Shane Hollander is so consumed by jealousy he almost chokes.
A different angle
Previous: 1., 2., 3., 4., 5., 6., 7., 8., 9., 10., 11., 12., 13.,
Next: 15., 16.,
Available on Redbubble!
#just mash things
part 29
Ncuti Gatwa The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon (March 2025)
okay but some of the ideas in jupiter ascending are literally so galaxy-brained? like, the concept that capitalism taken to its utmost extreme would result in a "superior" (read: ultra-wealthy) class exploiting whole planets of people for their own gain? the way that the three siblings play off each other, when you're ultimately left like "shit man at least balem fucking told her he wanted her dead even though he had some seriously fucked-up emotions regarding his dead mother like holy shit can you say oedipus complex my god". but the sister is like, "the ultimate resource, the only one that matters, is more time" and that's a profound concept and also again so horrifically accurate and dystopian because she's literally stealing time from not just people but whole planets' worth of people, and has been for thousands of years, they've grown them for this purpose and of course that would be elon musk's fucking wet dream, to be able to buy himself more time, and while i don't think he or anyone else would just like. immediately jump to "kill whole planets for it" i also think that if he felt like that was the only way, he would be like "it's the Greater Good. i have Unlocked Immortality For The Human Race" and be totally blind to the fact that it was only for the rich ones, on the backs of everyone else. and yet she's still nice? just because you're a genocidal self-serving ultra-capitalist immortal monster doesn't mean you have to be a jerk about it. which is so. how the human condition works?
and yet this movie also has "bees can sense royalty" and whatever the fuck was going on with channing tatum's character and a wooden (yet somehow refreshingly horny*) love story and an exhaustingly-long chase scene that could have been thirty seconds and the Great Disappearing Sean Bean Daughter and
like it's somehow simultaneously "terrible idea, flawless execution" and "flawless idea, terrible execution"
(*in contrast to the "everyone is beautiful, no one is horny" trope, channing tatum looks like a snack and by god is mila kunis ready to eat him)
#jupiter ascending #if you’ve ever been 12 years old this film is for you #did you like animorphs? you know that Vibe? is here #it’s spectacular and terrible and thoroughly entertaining #it should’ve had an unending YA series. and yet with the single product it remains unparalleled #you don’t need cold medicine. you need jupiter ascending (@rooksunday)
"I want to make every second count. I don't want to fritter away time anymore." - Matt Damon about Ben Affleck
Murderbot, dramatically draped over the back of ART-drone's chair while it's trying to pilot the ship:
"and I thought the desert rock planet and jungle themed stations were fucking annoying but then the next one was construction site themed and they weren't even actually doing construction! I mean they did have a giant hole in the middle of the floor but that was only for a stupid hologram of a-"
ART-drone: Are we going to finish watching this fucking show or what.
Phm from Adrian's perspective is just what if you were Penelope and Odysseus came home but he also brought a jellyfish and keeps begging you to build a fish tank for the jellyfish and make jellyfish food for the jellyfish and youre an ancient Greek whos never seen a jellyfish and you cant even comprehend how your going to do it but youre going to because if you dont Odysseus may kill himself. And also the jellyfish can do like. Witchcraft.
1.04 | 1.06 - parallel conversations these two conversations go hand in hand for me. the way they're feeling each other out, trying to figure out where they stand with each other. the push and pull of probing for answers and also slowly revealing their own vulnerabilities. wanting to tease but wanting to reassure. ilya mentioning svetlana. shane's instant jealousy, more restrained in the first scene and blazing red in the second. ilya speaking about liking both, showing shane that he has considered other options but wanting him to know that shane is it for him in a quiet manner that still protects him, so he's silly and he teases. it's close to perfect... but. shane saying you could find someone else... but. but i don't want anyone else, i want you.
Happy pride month to these gay ass mfs
I know in my heart that shane is the type of person who would never bring up essential personal details until they are immediately relevant and then would also be so understated about them
he and ilya are hanging out in the yard and some bees are buzzing around because some watermelon juice spilled on the ground earlier and shane suggests they go inside or rinse the juice off the patio and ilya teases him about being scared of little bees and shane SO nonchalantly just, "no, but i am allergic and you don't know where my epipen is"
and ilya
reblogging with my own tags because i'm also CACKLING imagining the implications of this not being specific to ilya, either. they're having a barbeque at hayden and jackie's house and hayden is good-naturedly encouraging shane to try a piece of coffee cake or something and ilya just goes, "no, bad for you"
and hayden IMMEDIATELY is on the defensive because what? you get to tell him what to eat now? where do you get o-
"no, bad for him because it has walnuts in it, pike. you want him to die? this is what you want?"
"what are you talking about?"
shane: "i'm allergic"
"??? since WHEN??"
"since always??"
"you've eaten over at my house HOW many times?? and never brought this up? the fuck, dude?"
"jackie knows"
"WHY DOES JACKIE KNOW AND I DON'T"
yuna and david dialing IN to "if you don't freak out, they won't freak out" during shane's formative years to the unintended and unfortunate side effect of ending up in situations like bb!shane going *calm tug tug on david's shirt* "yeah buddy?" *big inhale that audibly wheezes as his throat starts swelling shut*
the idea of ilya on instagram accidentally pressing like while DEEP in allergy mommy blogging territory and natalie from That Allergy Mama DMing him to be like "hi, my husband wants me to tell you he says hi and that he's a big fan and also that call against you against san francisco was bullshit." "hello, husband of natalie. also do you have any suggestions for substituting peanuts in this recipe?"
shane at the other end of the couch after thirty minutes of ilya not looking up is just ??? who the FUCK are you texting down there??? and ilya still without looking up just, "many many sexy women who are crying because i am married now. they are very upset." as if his ass isn't diligently taking notes from a married mother of four on a good allergy-friendly pad thai recipe because shane mentioned in passing that it smelled good the last time ilya ordered some and now ilya wants to find out how to make some he can try.
he gets filmed for a what i eat in a day/day in the life type video and is so used to thinking about substitutes at this point that he doesn't even think about it when he mentions them in passing. they keep an allergy friendly household so the stuff he mentions is compliant, but it's paired with comments like, "and then i add some wowbutter, which is soybeans and not peanuts. we also sometimes have sunflower seed butter, but the texture for this is better with the wowbutter. i have also tried this, what is it called-shane: the gross paste with beans" *shane, offscreen from the living room*: "chickpea butter?" "yes, this." "it's nasty" "yes, not good. their jar says it is, but it is not. anyway-"
and it truly IS casual for him because this is just how he thinks now, but everyone else just ??? allergy friendly homemaker ilya rozanov??? since when??
A. the idea of ilya being lowkey stressed about shane surprising him and potentially being exposed to allergens is so fucking funny. ilya who ends up also keeping an allergy-friendly household PURELY because it's just less stressful that way. meanwhile the motherfucker WITH the allergies is SO fucking casual about it that it wouldn't even occur to him to ask ilya to do that.
B. when they're pushing the friendship cover, ilya gets nudge nudge jokes about trying to copy what hollander's doing, and he's not going to share information shane didn't greenlight to get out, so he just plays along. and now there's like. at least three other players lowkey accidentally following an allergy diet because they don't know it's an allergy diet. why do hollander and now rozanov not eat tree nuts? unclear, but they're also the best two players in the entire industry so it's worth a shot to copy them.
C. people being so afraid of ilya's wrath if shane has an allergic reaction to something at their house is KILLING ME. shane just fucking. STANDS near a plate of peanut butter cookies on the table in the backyard during a barbeque and four different people are immediately there shoving him away because they will NOT answer to rozanov about this. they will NOT die over cookies. who is the IDIOT who brought PEANUT BUTTER COOKI-
@lucky-santangelo ilya only getting five seconds of feeling smug and holier than thou before shane puts him on blast is KILLING me XD
@shanetism the idea of ilya finding out how many times he could have potentially killed shane over the years from not knowing this VERY IMPORTANT THING ABOUT HIM and shane's life flashing before HIS eyes is so funny. also the idea that shane was going to show him the fucking WELL at the cottage and just not mention the drawer his epipen is in and ilya being so ??!!! HOLLANDER ?!?! PRIORITIES ?!?!
shane groaning SO loud when ilya first breaks out the allergy cards because GOD ilya it's NOT that serious this is embarass-
oh? is this more or less embarassing than having allergic reaction in the middle of a restaurant and needing your epipen? hm? shut up and take the fucking shiny cards, hollander.
and riFUCKINGp to the restaurant that lied about not using peanut oil in their fryer as an angry, stressed ilya is stuck in a hospital lobby with wifi and a lot of energy that has nowhere to go until he's allowed to be back with his husband. you're DONE FOR.
also ilya being lowkey SO fucking frustrated at shane having allergies AND refusing to eat fast food, especially when they're on the road so often and ilya eats allergy-free when they're together. hollander, pick a struggle. you know what will not kill you? mcmuffin. she loves you. look at her allergen list. she is safe. this organic artisinal breakfast wrap from this tiny cafe cannot say the same. she does not love you like mcmuffin. she probably whores around with peanuts.
GOD the psychic damage ilya takes the day he finds out body products can have allergens in them. his body wash company is getting a SCATHING email about fucking around with their formula when there are PEOPLE with ALLERGIES who RELY ON-
and shane meanwhile is just, "i can take some meds and just be itchy for a little bit. it's seriously not a big deal." "you are covered in bumps! it could have been worse. they should have to give warnings if they are going to fuck around with things like this." "you seriously have to calm down. it's not going to stop me from play-" "shane i cannot overstate how much i need you to not talk about hockey to me right now."
MAN
shane growing up who always got, "oh, you poor thing" from well-intentioned adults as a kid and then, "damn, i could NEVER live like that" from same-age peers when older whenever he had to explain his allergies, and it was both annoying and also felt like failing at something when he had to decline a piece of birthday cake or a slice of pizza because it wasn't safe for him.
but if he frames it as a performance diet, then suddenly! admiration! he gets some teasing obviously, but there's also an air of "good for you, man" that lands a lot easier than pity.
this does, unfortunately, mean that he just develops a habit of just never saying ANYTHING when not directly asked lmao.
@riddlemaster101
i feel like shane would reliably tell medical people because this is a Rule for medical settings so yes of course he'll go into detail
for everyone else though??? cackling about people who have known him for literally fifteen years finding out about potentially deadly allergies ONLY because ilya is fucking interrogating the waiter at the restaurant. shane of Before just would have probably declined going and used his diet as an excuse because he didn't want to have it be A Whole Thing. now he has a husband to "he said no pickles" his allergies on his behalf, so he's straight chilling. 🤣
Can we also talk about the Yuna and David of it all?
David spots them at the cottage and they go over, Shane's cottage is obviously allergen free and the shopping he did is all safe for him. Yuna and David know to cook safely, the chicken parm is all good and fine but they say "the croutons aren't safe for you, but you don't like those anyway" just in passing as a matter of habit and Ilya who JUST learned about bananas and latex and bees is like "oh wow! More allergies?? I need a list. Haha" and then they have the meal and the panic attack and they become boyfriends. Before they leave Yuna makes him a copy of her list of all the known allergens and Shane's common reactions to them, it's the first time he hugs her. He looks her in the eye and says "thank you for letting me take care of him. I will be careful."
It's a relief, to know he cares to try. But at the end of the day they JUST met this man. So they cross their fingers and try not to feel the same way they did every time Shane went to somebody's house for a birthday party or a sleepover.
And then they are over at the cottage some night and they decide to order in for dinner. Ilya takes everybody's orders and goes to the kitchen to call it in for them and it's taking *forever* so Yuna goes to see if he needs any help. She finds him sitting with two copies of the list, hers and one translated into Russian for his easy reference. He has the phone on speaker and says "thank you for checking the dressing ingredients, I know is weird request, but sometimes Caesar dressing is safe, sometimes not safe, but he likes it so much is worth checking. Yes, I'll hold again."
They've ordered from this place a dozen times, their recipe for Caesar dressing is safe, YUNA knows that, SHANE knows that, that's why he ordered it. But *Ilya* doesn't. So he's checking. Because Shane wants the dressing and Ilya want him *safe* and *happy*. And isn't that all a parent wants? For their kid to be with someone who is just as invested in their happiness and safety as they are? For somebody who will wait on hold while they check the fry oil and the dressing ingredients and whatever else?
Once Ilya has placed the order and hung up he gets surprised by a hug from behind, thin arms wrapped around him and perfume he's starting to recognize. He's bewildered, but when he asks gently "...Mrs. Hollander?" She just tells him to call her Yuna.
WEEPING
also cackling about the idea of ilya using the group chat with them to be mad about brands changing their ingredients so things that were SAFE are now NOT 😤 it started just as a "hey, those crackers aren't safe anymore" as a collective fyi thing, but it ends up being ilya just mad about safe things not being safe anymore
significantly shane remains SO unbothered about it all
also EXTREMELY funny to imagine ilya suddenly being strict about allergens in his house with svetlana, who has done body shots off of strangers with this motherfucker who is suddenly?? confiscating her granola bar??? ilya what the actual FUCK is happening right now??? "no peanuts inside anymore" "...what the fuCK ARE YOU TALKI-"
GOD shane who never really got the experience as a kid of getting to sleep over at someone's house and just Know there would be food for him to eat. he either had to bring his own or ask to read labels because he promised his parents he would, and then sometimes there just. wasn't an option.
and now he gets to go to his boyfriend's house and just know there'll be a cabinet of stuff that's safe for him. doesn't even have to worry about it. this is the Shane Cabinet, and it contains Shane Food. and when there's dinner?? that will also be Shane Food.
he's not the one person left out. not here. <3
OH MY GOD, THOUGH. SHANE WHO IS SO USED TO SAFE FOODS AND DIET-ADHERENT THINGS THAT ARE BORING BUT WON'T KILL HIM THAT HE IS SURPRISED AND PLEASED BY FLAVOR IN A WAY THAT ABOUT GIVES ILYA A HEART ATTACK.
he takes a bite of food as ilya is putting things away and goes, "holy shit"
and ilya freezes and looks over and just "what"
"oh my GOD"
"what? what is happening?"
"ilya, FUCK"
"what? is reaction? there is something you are reacting to? you need-"
"what?"
"what is wrong? what's happening? you need epi-"
"oh, nothing's happening! it just tastes really good. :)"
*hand over his chest, heart pounding* "...H O L L A N D E R."
