Anyway if youâre from the US and you ever wanted to know what tumblr feels like from a non-USAmerican perspective (please note that the rest of the world is not a monolith either and none of these apply without exception):
Everybodyâs talking about brands and stores youâve never seen in real life. You generally assume they exist, but they might as well be one giant prank the rest of the internet is in on.
You find a post that just sounds wrong. It makes no sense. Itâs like OP lives in a weird alternate reality. 9/10 times, itâs just some USAmerican Thing.
Youâre still not entirely sure how much an inch is. Or a foot. Or even how many of the former there are in the latter. You maybe know your height in feet and inches.
You have no idea how much a pound is. Youâd also like to know how the fuck pound shortens to lbs.
What the fuck is âmilitary timeâ
Somebody talks about some legal process or something similar. They donât mention which countryâs legal system this pertains to. You know anyway.
People talk about politics. None of it pertains to you. Many posts contain guilt tripping. âHow can you not care about this?? Why wonât you reblog this?? People need to know this about x candidate for y position!â Youâre busy trying to stay on top of the political landscape in your own country.
You pick up some random slang from the internet. Monkey see monkey do. Youâre called racist. You didnât know it was AAVE. You learnt it from black letters on white background, not from the mouths of people whose faces you could see. How would you have known? You try to unlearn it.
People tell you that you must publicly denounce Chick-fil-A or youâre homophobic. You donât even know what a Chick-fil-A is.
People say you donât know LGBTQ+ history. What they mean is you donât know USAmerican LGBTQ+ history. Nobody cares about your countryâs history.
Youâre âcalled outâ on using an âoffensiveâ term. Itâs (a direct translation of) a completely harmless word where you live.
People expect you to have an idea of how far apart 2 USAmerican states are. You barely know geography past your countryâs immediate neighbors.
You randomly switch between British and American spellings. Nothingâs real and there are no rules.
People talk about multiple hour car rides and you get twitchy just thinking about it. You suddenly understand why USAmerican cars are so big.
Somebody talks about school shooting drills. You only ever had fire alarm drills.
You see a cool statistic. The studyâs only about the US. Itâs unfortunately of no use to you.
People misuse/misspell words and names from your native language. Itâs tiring.
(You feel sorry for the French. Nobody should be allowed to mangle the word dĂŠjĂ vu like that.)
Youâre still not over the fact that USAmerican school children are supposed to say that pledge thing every morning. Youâre never getting over that.
You still donât know why the men are fresh or what the fuck a sophomore is.
Who the fuck pays up first and then fills up gas??? Thatâs made up, right??
Everybody has a weird obsession with some comfort food youâd never even heard of before you signed up here.
Fellow non-USAmericans, please add anything else you can think of.
germansingergirl
tangentwithtanner
janainaart
titsay
