Azriel stood in the doorway watching as you sat in the bay window with Nyx in your lap. He had started fussing during dinner, clearly fighting the sleep he desperately needed. You were practically done eating so naturally you offered to take him, allowing Feyre a chance to enjoy her dinner. It didn't take you long to find his favorite story book and settle in. That's how Azriel had found you. His nephew curled up with you pointing to the pictures as you quietly read to him. A few yawns escaped his lips and soon his body was settling further into your as he drifted in and out of sleep.
You stopped when you noticed his breathing had evened out, and his body had finally relaxed. You gently stroked his hair, trying to keep him asleep. Your eyes found Azriel's, warmth spreading through you at the unguarded admiration he was giving you. Azriel forgot he was staring until Rhys’ hand on his shoulder pulled him back to the moment. “She's good with him.” Rhys says, watching his son sleeping peacefully. “She is.” Azriel agrees, his eyes still on you as the soft lullaby your humming drifts across the room.
“Careful or she'll want one of her own.” Rhys teases but there's truth in his words. “I'll give her as many as she wants.” Azriel says without hesitation. He doesn't try to deny that he's imagined it himself. Everytime he witnesses a quiet moment between you and Nyx he's imagined it. He's patient though, waiting for you to decide you're ready without him feeling like he's pressuring you into it. “You might not have to wait much longer.” Rhys says with a grin before walking towards you.
You let Rhys pick up Nyx, making sure not to wake him. He stirs but doesn't wake as Rhys carries him towards his room. It isn't long before Azriel's standing beside you. “You're good with him. Better than most of us.” Azriel says as he sits beside you. “He makes it easy.” You say, letting Azriel hold you close to him. “Rhys says if I'm not careful you'll want your own.” Azriel says with a grin. “And what if I did?” You ask. You've been ready to have this conversation for a while now. “I'll give you as many as you want, love.” He says, the truth behind his words making the bond glow.
“Let's start with one and go from there, love.” you say with a smile before pulling his hand to your stomach. His eyes widen as he feels the subtle change to your body. “Really? Now?” He asks with a genuine smile as he keeps his hand where you had placed it. Your heart flutters as it all becomes real. “When?” He asks, voice full of excitement. “Madja confirmed it earlier today. It's still early on, and I don't want to tell everyone just yet.” You answer, your hand resting on his. “It's our little secret, love. Something just for us.” He says before kissing you.
Reader is recovering from having her wings taken, and Cassian is the only one available to change her bandages when Mor is called away to Hewn City
The knock on your door was so quiet you barely registered it before the door slowly opened. It hadn't mattered that you hadn't told them to enter, you hadn't spoken since you were brought home. Everyone was used to your silence by now, everyone except him. “Mor was urgently called away to handle an emergency in hewn city with Azriel.” Cassian says, his tone soft as he lingers in your doorway. “If you want to wait for one of the sisters to come back I understand, but I'm not sure when that will be.” Cassian continues while indicating towards the fresh gauze in his arms.
You want to take him up on his offer to wait, but you think better of it, knowing it needs to be done. You gesture at him to come in, watching as he closes the door behind him. You turn your back towards him before your fingers shakily fumble with the buttons on your shirt. You hear him getting situated behind you. You take a steadying breath before slipping your shirt off your shoulders. You lower it just enough for your bandaged back to be accessible for him. You can't stop the tears that line your eyes.
Mor was always the one to do this for you, the only one to see besides Madja. You feel the gentle tug of the bandages as Cassian carefully removes them. The sharp intake of his breath causes the first tear to trail silently down your cheek. “I'm sorry. I'll be quick.” He says, voice soft but full of emotion. You fight the urge to pull the shirt back up as your composure starts to crack. You feel the cold balm against your skin where your wings used to be. You blink away your tears as your body starts to tremble.
Why did it have to be him? You question repeatedly. The cruelty of fate seems to know no bounds when it comes to you. After years of being in love with him you had longed for his gentle touch, never imagining it would be under these circumstances. His gentle touch gives you goosebumps before vanishing. Moments later you feel the fresh gauze being placed over your torn skin before he secures the bandages on top of it. He gently pulls the back of your shirt up, the kind gesture twisted into something cruel by your mind.
Your mind convinces you it's because he's disgusted by you. Thinking you less of an Illyrian because your wings were gone. All the insecurities you've been fighting are flooding your mind. Your eyes unfocused and distant as you shrink into yourself. The words inside your head shatter your composure, allowing tears to track freely down your cheeks. Everything seemingly overwhelming and burdensome as your breath quickens. A warm touch on your cheek pulling you back to the moment.
You wipe at it frantically, stopping when you realize it's Cassian. His thumb gently wipes away your tears. “Come back to me.” His voice coos softly, filtering through your thoughts. He gives a small, reassuring smile, “there's my beautiful girl.” He says, voice warm and calm. You hold on to his words, allowing them to anchor you, even if you don't believe them. “Did I hurt you?” He asks, his voice full of concern. You shake your head. A glass of water appears on your nightstand. “Drink this, you'll feel better.” He says holding the glass out for you.
You take the glass and drink a small bit while Cassian gathers up your old bandages to dispose of. You take a moment to rebutton your shirt, thankful it hadn't exposed you during your ‘episode.’ Cassian tosses the bandages in your small trash can in your bathroom. “Can I get you anything? Food? A book? Something different to drink?” Cassian asks, searching for a reason to stay. You shake your head, knowing you've already taken up enough of his time. “If you need me, I'll be just down the hall.” He says before reluctantly leaving you alone.
