Is Nesta Archeron a Narcissist?
Disclaimer:
I am not a professional. I am a university student who has been studying psychology for 3.5 years. A lot of research and time goes into this post. If you do have a personality disorder (PD), you are NOT a bad person. If you think you have a PD, do not self-diagnose from this post; please speak to a psychiatrist.
From afar, especially to those who do not like Nesta, it feels like a no-brainer to diagnose her with NPD. However, being one of the most complex personality disorders, it is important to consider context, background, and the full spectrum of her behaviour and motivations.
Understanding Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)
According to the DSM-5, Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is characterized by a pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behaviour), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following criteria:
Grandiosity: Exaggerated sense of self-importance.
Nesta has stated in several instances, especially throughout ACOSF when we see her internal monologue and self-hatred, that she does not deserve anything—love, kindness, etc.
“I deserve Eris.” Her voice cracked.
“I do not deserve you, and I never, ever will.”
“I am worthless and I am nothing.”
“...and still he somehow loved me. I didn't deserve it, but he did. And I let him die.”
While, yes, NPD is generally associated with traits like low-self esteem, Nesta’s expressions of self-deprecation and unworthiness point more towards a profound internalized sense of shame and self-blame, rather than grandiosity. This suggests a deeper psychological complexity possibly stemming from unresolved trauma or guilt, rather than the characteristic inflated self-importance seen in NPD.
Fantasy: Preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
I am not going to touch on fantasy or fantasizing, because it just did not occur in the book. But, if I had to say anything, it's that if anyone was fantasizing about great power or success, it was Amren, wanting to use Nesta's powers behind her back.
Need for Admiration: Requires excessive admiration
Nesta has not once been seen canonically to fish for compliments, wish for compliments, or even respond well to kindness—because of, as previously mentioned, her self-hatred.
“Don't touch me. Don't- don't be kind to me.”
While we know that Nesta longs for kindness deep down, and that through the valkyries, she learned to accept it, Nesta is often seen rejecting kindness, rather than seeking it out.
Sense of Entitlement: Sense of entitlement
This is the big one—the one that gets everybody up in arms. I would like to begin by stating that even I, someone who loves Nesta, can see a sense of entitlement in the first ACOTAR book, and to say otherwise would be silly. However, even if she a) showed this trait enough for it to be thought of (by psychologists) as a direct NPD trait, it is not shown canonically enough to constitute diagnosis (traits must be pervasive and consistent across various relationships and situations), and in order to diagnose NPD, as stated by the DSM-5, an individual must exhibit five or more of these traits to be considered for diagnosis.
So, while Nesta has been seen to exhibit entitled or selfish behaviours, it a) is not pervasive enough to constitute a direct correlation to NPD, and b) does not simply mean that she has NPD. Remember, exhibiting occasional entitlement ≠ Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Exploitative Behaviours: Takes advantage of others to achieve own ends
This is another argument I commonly see regarding Nesta and NPD. For starters, there is one instance where we see Nesta exhibit something that could be perceived as exploitative behaviour, which occurs in the first book.
Feyre asks Nesta to chop wood, and Nesta requests Feyre to do it instead, citing that her hands are more 'well-suited' for the task.
I acknowledge that Nesta’s unwillingness to chop wood and her attempt to have Feyre do it instead can be perceived as subtly exploitative behaviour. However, in the context provided, Nesta’s refusal to help could be interpreted as a response to her deep-seated resentment towards her father's neglect and the influence of her upbringing. Her actions do not inherently constitute exploitative behaviour towards Feyre. Instead, they reflect her choice to withhold assistance as a form of protest or to compel their father to take responsibility for their well-being.
Exploitative behaviour typically involves taking advantage of someone's vulnerability or goodwill for personal gain or to avoid personal responsibility. In Nesta's case, her actions seem more like a stance against enabling her father's neglect rather than exploiting her sister. However, I acknowledge this could be perceived as subtly exploitative because, despite deeper reasons, she relies on Feyre’s assistance (even though she resents it, and would rather she didn’t).
Lack of Empathy: Lacks empathy; unwilling to recognize or identify with others' feelings and needs
Let’s start with Feyre’s own words:
“I think Nesta feels everything—sees too much; sees and feels it all. And she burns with it. Keeping that wall up helps from being overwhelmed, from caring too greatly.”
Beyond that, there are several instances where we see Nesta show great empathy for those around her, even when it brings her no real gain:
“What I care about is making sure no children—fae or human—are harmed.”
“Neither of you is to blame for what happened. Neither of you failed anyone.”
“It’s the only way,” (willingness to give up her life for her friends during the rite).
Unwilling to leave Cassian at the prison, or during battle in ACOWAR.
Willingness to do anything to keep Elain from falling further traumatized, even if it was overbearing at times.
It is seen time and time again that Nesta has empathy and the capacity to show great care for others. I do agree that the way she treated Feyre was not how I would treat my own siblings; however, that does not make her apathetic—especially when she has shown care for Feyre since. (The fact that it didn’t happen until Feyre nearly died does not matter in the context of NPD, sorry).
Envy: Often envious of others or believes others are envious of them.
Throughout the series, we do not really see Nesta show envy towards others. She may have potentially envied her wealthy peers after falling into poverty—though this is more a case of resentment towards their refusal to assist her family. Additionally, there is a sense of envy towards the Inner Circle and Feyre’s new family, though it’s more accurate to describe it as longing.
From Nesta’s perspective, Feyre starts a new family—one that has treated Nesta poorly from the beginning. Nesta does not feel comfortable around these people, especially those who treat her disrespectfully (like Mor). While Feyre had every right to extend her family to those who love and care for her, it is also fair for Nesta to long for the sisterly bond she witnesses between Feyre, Mor, and Amren.
Whether or not Nesta should have handled her relationships with Feyre better in the earlier books has nothing to do with a diagnosis of NPD.
Arrogant: Shows arrogant, haughty behaviours or attitudes
And finally, we have another of the commonly used explanations behind Nesta’s tiktok diagnosis of NPD. Arrogance, much like grandiosity, is not canonically demonstrated by Nesta throughout the series. Nesta is seen to carry herself with a sense of purpose, composure, and confidence—this is not inherently arrogance. Nesta was raised from a young age to marry someone of high social status; a lot of her behaviours are a result of social learning (where behaviours are learned by observing others and the consequences of those behaviours) or conditioning (where behaviours are learned through reinforcement and punishment) rather than arrogance or entitlement.
As mentioned earlier, we see just how little Nesta thinks about herself, and if we look from Cassian’s perspective that is seen by the others as well,
“He’d seen her self-loathing and anger, but hadn’t realized how much she’d been aware of it.”
Nesta does not expect to be treated with high status by others; instead, she often allows others to speak down to her, internalizing it as a learned response from her upbringing and experiences. This behaviour reflects complex psychological dynamics where individuals may internalize negative perceptions of themselves due to past experiences or societal conditioning.
This post is not meant to be an excuse for Nesta’s past behaviours, nor is it an attempt to get you to like her—you not liking Nesta does not disrupt my inner peace at all, please feel free to continue. However, throwing around serious personality disorders after a simple Google search is harmful. With NPD being one of the most complex personality disorders, it is imperative to approach discussions with nuance and understanding.
Additionally, claiming Nesta has NPD simply because she is someone you don’t like, or a ‘terrible person,’ is harmful to those who do have NPD and perpetuates negative and prejudiced ideologies of the disorder. Please remember that this is a fictional character. There is no need to tear down real people to try and prove your dislike of Nesta Archeron.
(This information is all from either my Abnormal Psychology courses (year 2 and 3), from the National Institute of Health, or from Psychiatry.org).
