HELLO LGBT COMMUNITY

hi im salem and im [REDACTED] 25, he/xe twitter @gay_rob0t

[vampirecowb0y]

pinned post so i can go to my tags

[hellworld2]

Visit Original Link

happy halloween

[cannibalcaprine-deactivated2024]

chess tournament put on hold briefly as White's bishops are having a schism

[cannibalcaprine-deactivated2024]

Black's pawns are taking the opportunity to discuss wages with their king, threatening him with the guillotine if they go further without proper care

the king obliges

while this may cause distrust in Black's upper castes, particularly, his knights, the overall quality of Black's army has greatly improved

[professionalchaoticdumbass]

one of White's rooks has suffered structural damages. knights are investigating to determine if it was sabotage or simply a result of the rook's old age.

[cannibalcaprine-deactivated2024]

meanwhile, White's bishops have come an agreement: one will continue with traditional Catholicism, the other will modernize, translating their scripture from Latin to English

the royal family is yet to comment

[professionalchaoticdumbass]

the royal family is too busy dealing with an affair between the two queens, who somehow managed to escape both kingdoms

White's pawns are jealous of Black's pawn labor rights and have unionized, but are for some reason targeting the kingside knight

[cannibalcaprine-deactivated2024]

White has ordered a new rook to replace the crumbling ruins of White's old rook, though due to a mixup with the delivery boy, White was given an albino rook (Corvus frugilegus)

both Black and White agree to play the rook as a normal rook, despite the difficulties of making a bird fight in a 12th century land battle

[professionalchaoticdumbass]

the bird keeps jumping when it's not supposed to and frequently flies over half the board above several pieces. Black's knights are jealous and try to teach a pawn the basics of falconry so they can capture the bird for themselves.

White's kingside knight has used lethal force

[cannibalcaprine-deactivated2024]

White's remaining pawns have deserted White's army to join Black

Black's queenside knight and rook has left to join White, frustrated over the pawns' apparent privilege

White has successfully rebuilt their crumbled rook after White lost the rook (bird), though White technically now has three rooks

Black has replaced Black's lost bishop with a rabbi

[professionalchaoticdumbass]

amidst all the chaos, the queens have returned to the board and are hosting a wedding ceremony in the center squares

White's rook (bird) discovered it had free will and is functionally on a third side. it attacks every piece it sees.

[cannibalcaprine-deactivated2024]

White's modernized bishop (both of White's traditionalist bishops refused to hold a same-sex marriage) officiates the wedding, which was nearly crashed by Black's remaining knight getting drunk at the minibar and getting into a fistfight with White's rook (tower)

Black's pawns are hiding in fear from White's rook (bird)

[professionalchaoticdumbass]

White's rook (bird) is circling ominously above White's king

[cannibalcaprine-deactivated2024]

White's king cannot run from a bird

it appears that Black has won the game, by White's rook (bird) checkmating White's king

the players shake hands, congratulating eachother for a good game

[monster2003]

I was overstimulated and now I’m evil

[meangirlnurse]

we're apparently opposites lol. i dont know ANY women currently. i keep trying to meet more and they keep turning out to be trans men who hadn't figured it out yet. most recent guy came out to me YESTERDAY which is the 7th in the last three months. im cis and straight i dont know why this keeps happening. my dating life is in shambles but i have SO MANY new buddies im teaching how to shave and torrent movies

not to be weird but i think i'm obsessed with you

[bisexual-space-cowboy]

[udon-tea]

The follow-up though:

[serescosmicos]

Of Natural Causes: Snake In The Grass - Photography by Sally Rumball

[spearxwind]

So I went down to the Marianna Trench the other day and took a bunch of pics!! There were so many cool critters down there check these out:

[memorycycle]

she yank on it till i die

[samshepard]

shoutout to everyone dealing with. thhe fucking difficulty

[rosemochi]

the fact that all of my mutuals immediately reblogged this from me really says something about all of us, doesn't it

[r-ambien]

[ot3]

meow

my roommates cat has been sitting outside of my door scratching at it and meowing miserably for like the past fifteen minutes and i havent let him in to give him any attention yet so the timing of this ask really makes it seem like hes decided to come anonymously harass me on tumblr instead

[need-somethin-wholesome]

I love hearing people go into a genuine, uncontrollable laughing fit. It brightens my soul in a manner I can't explain.

[bossymarmalade]

A bunch of us used to get together at one friend’s apartment on the weekends and she’d have her window open and she said her neighbour once wistfully told her “you always sound like you girls are having such fun. i listen for your laughing on sundays”

[flowerbleedme]

Tumblr user: I love forests

That same post in the spider dimension: I love spiders

[swarnpert]

i feel like high school/middle school sitcoms set the unrealistic expectation of being able to have lunch time outside

[swarnpert]

ok because apparently i'm wrong about this, reblog with where you live and whether you got to eat lunch outside during school or not

[roblingoblin285]

i love when ppl ask writers questions about their ocs and they're like "uhh i think so?" as if they didn't invent them. like they're just mild acquaintances we have

[habbadax]

Took a wrong turn somewhere

[orcboxer]

i took a nap and woke up in all these goddam spinanch

[seven-oh-four]

I'm still pretty new to chess, can anyone tell me what I'm supposed to do if my opponent plays the Eight Fucking Bears opening? I'm really having trouble.

[weaselle]

in this instance it is important to note that your opponent is playing black. This means their Eight Fucking Bears opening is composed of black bears, and that is an opening that you can fight back against.

(an Eight Fucking Bears opening played by white is known as a Polarizer, the only possible response to which is to use your bishops to convert your entire back line in an attempt to orchestrate the Holy Intervention gambit.)

In this case, against black bears, you can either move aggressively with your knights on horseback, which should break up their bear line, or you can use the Pawn Stacking gambit to make your pawns look as big as possible and out-bluff those bears

But remember! you can only pawn-stack as a lateral move left or right, you can never pawn-stack to the front or back, and of course you can’t pawn-stack diagonally forward. Some gaming conventions, notably the South American International League, do allow pawn-stacking on a backward diagonal move, as long as the bottom pawn in the stack has not moved yet that game

glad we here at the Batshit Chess Guild could answer your question, see you next time, have fun out there and keep your opponents in check!