something about "cis men dni" bothers me. like, really bothers me. I see it most often on NSFT posts.
and, to a degree, it makes sense to me. I understand why someone would want to say that. but when I spend more than three seconds thinking about it, it turns from understandable to uncomfortable real fucking fast.
what about intersex cis men? or intersex cistrans men? or genderfluid people who still identify with being a cis man as well?
why would you allow trans men on your post but not cis men? why not gay cis men, if you're allowing pretty much any other group of people interact with this (INCLUDING cis perisex allo hetero women; not that I think there's an issue with that, just... odd to me, if you don't want any cis men interacting, especially if under the guise of making queer sex posts)
and I think the easiest example of why this kind of logic is flawed to me is... I think anyone who is uncomfortable enough with cis men to add that kind of DNI to all their posts, they are going to be uncomfortable with masculine, passing trans men as well. and that is exactly the kind of shit that has trans men getting asked to "prove they're trans" by other queer people. it's also following the same, flawed logic as the bathroom bills—if a cis man is gonna act gross and immature on your post, you think "cis men dni" is gonna do shit? just like bigots think banning trans women from women's bathrooms is going to stop cis men with bad intentions from going into women's bathrooms? really?
lumping together any group and treating them as if they're a hive mind, or a single entity, is bad. and that's exactly what "cis men DNI" is doing; it's treating this overarching umbrella term of cis men as something dangerous, something unwanted, something disallowed in queer areas.
maybe this is an overreaction on my part. maybe the people putting "cis men DNI" on their posts and their blogs need to sit back and check why they're doing that, and if they're excluding the people they actually want to exclude, or if they're just doing unnecessary harm to those who need no more harm done to them.
gender is all a performance. I understand the fear, the discomfort, the struggle, but gender means nothing. I've met and seen just as many women, trans men, and nonbinary people, being completely nasty human beings as cis men. because there's assholes and bigots everywhere.
cis men are not the enemy. the patriarchy is, the system that allows shitty cis men to get away with the things they do is, the system that raises cis men to be ignorant and cruel is, the privileged men in power are, supporters of the patriarchy are, but cis men themselves are not.
